I went through a divorce about 6 years ago… I tried to be fair, so fair I left myself open and my children open to what later became an abusive situation. I asked for help from my ex about 3 years ago, I had just gone through surgery to take stage 1 cancer tumor out of my lung and was working hard to get back on my feet again and I needed help with the kids so I asked him and his new wife to help me by taking my eldest for the rest of the school year and summer until I could get on my feet again, our youngest who had always been a momma’s girl stayed with me. I sent our youngest daughter for a visit and that is when they pretty much kidnapped my kids. I wasn’t allowed to call them,see them. they spread around that I had just dropped them off and abandoned them. I fought for a year to get my kids back even taking time off from my new job to go to court, I finnaly did get them back after it was found that not only had they both lied to the court but also were abusing our children. No they are not allowed to see the kids unless they are supervised even then I was fair and agreed to allow his sister (awsome lady) to do the supervising but they did not take advantage of this arrangement and have not seen the kids in almost 3 and a half years.
This week his sister who is trying to fix bridges in her family asked me to allow both my kids to go to a birthday party… I trust her I do I just can’t seem to force myself to trust those who did these things to my family to my girls, I felt bad but I just couldn’t say yes, all day today I I have sat here trying to figure out if maby I shouldn’t give them another chance? I am not talking about my ex and his wife but that side of the family which aided and did nothing to stop the abuse. People that I had never done anything too to make them think or say the things they did.I know my sister in law just wants her family togather and I did promise my mother in law before her death that I would help her if I could but I made that promise before all this happened and it is killing me. I don’t know if I am right to be this afraid. I don’t know if I am doing right by my kids. I am afraid of going through all that again. I was not invited with my kids and honestly I don’t expect to be. I guess I am just second guessing myself, I just want whats good for my kids.