I have posted elsewhere about some of the issues going on in my family (parents and siblings.) I have come to believe that my father’s nightly drinking really was alcoholism (I always dismissed it as back pain), and that we are all still suffering the effects of that. I have come to see many incidents over the years as a pattern that hasn’t ended, rather than isolated incidents. Included in this is constantly blaming me for everyone else’s behavior, and physical violence. (One for instance-- my dad spent a night in jail for domestic violence, and let it be known for months afterward that his marriage problems were somehow my fault.)
Most recently, I have gotten several family members angry because I stay away from people who don’t control or apologize for their tempers (and then tell me their temper is really my fault). Today, my younger sister called me in a rage because I asked her to please call next time she’s not going to bring my daughter home at the expected time.
My dad’s family has at least a 3 generation history of family members getting fed up and walking away from these sorts of things. I have prayed for years for peace between him and his brother. I have prayed for peace in my own family. I’m sorry to say, although I’ll keep praying, I’ve pretty much given up hope for having a peaceful relationship with them. They have lived with these beliefs and patterns for decades.
I’m asking for everyone’s prayers for my family, my siblings, my parents, and for my decisions on how to handle these things. I don’t badmouth my family to my children, so they don’t really get why I’m now staying away, and they’re upset with the situation. I have realized since moving home again 5 years ago that my mother has lots of negative things to say about me to people-- including to my children, including things that aren’t even true. I have a fear of my family turning my children against me.
Please, any prayers would be appreciated.