Family married to the same sex


there is a man in my family married to a man. there is a man with a boy friend. they live in the same house. i see them and go to their house. we do normal things. dinner. hang out. complain about politics. go to museums. is this a sin for me to be with them?

i do not know why i need to be angry at my family for this. they are angry at people who do not like how they are. i do not want to be angry at them. i do not want them to be angry at me.


First of all - they are NOT married. Only a man and a woman can be married.

You can love them, but you can not support or condone their lifestyle. That is a very thin line to walk whether or not hanging out with them and going to their homes is condoning the lifestyle. Tough call, especially when it’s family.

I once dated someone who has a gay uncle and lives with his partner. I loved them both dearly, but I did not agree with their lifestyle. I was there for holidays only because that is where the family gathering was held on alternating years. But aside from that we did not socialize with them.



i know why we believe this is wrong. this is why i worry about sin. why pretend they are not married? they are. not a Sacrament marriage. of course not.


I’m not pretending anything. They are NOT married - whatever they want to call it, it is not a marriage. They are living together in a state of sin (if they are having sex). There can be NO marriage between two people of the same sex. As a Catholic you should know this.



Jesus would hang out with the sinners, wouldn’t he? I say hang out, visit, whatever, but do not condone. Be a strong example of your faith. Let your faith rub off on them and not let their sins rub off on you.


To the OP - you may wish to take a look at this active thread:



a law says they are married. to say no they are not married is not to see what is real to the law.

i know marriage is for a man and a woman. a lot of wrong things are real. right in front of you. a wrong way to marry is real. it happens. right in front of you.

i ask: how to live what is real and not sin? you want to say it is wrong to notice what is real.


thank you :slight_smile:


thank you :slight_smile:


If you feel that it is improper to sin, then why are you hanging out with them? It is in your mind a sin to have the mere aquaintance with them, then you should not be near them or socialize with them. Condoning same sex bonds and no it isn’t marriage. Marriage is between a man and a woman for the propagation of the human race, and a sacred bond and union, as Mary and Joseph had with one another while raising Christ not a sexual relationship] but a unity of minds and hearts, that constitutes marriage. Marriage is not about sex alone, but selfless love and care for another person on a spiritual level.


if i go only were there is no sin i need a no people place.


There are different types of sin. Most sin is private and we should for the most part mind our own business. Some types of sin are public and scandalous. This type of sin is a public sin. We are required to treat public sin with public demonstration of our faith.

We cannot condone, assist, approve, consent, hide, recommend, council, etc anyone to commit a sin. IF we participate in any of these ways and more in anothers sin we must share in the guilt and the punishment. We are called to instruct the ignorant and to admonish the sinner. Public sin must be kept in the arena that the sinner has brought it. Each time you spend any time with them you add credibility to their lifestyle and their sin. You would be held to some degree guilty of the scandalous life. The best thing is to stay away from them and explain to them if they ask that your religion demands that its members do not cooperate with any sin and especially public sin directly against the express teachings of the church.


no two men are not married no matter what they claim, or what the civil law in your area states. No government has the right to declare marriage to be other than what God instituted, the union of one man and one woman. Since they cannot by definition carry out the fundamental act of marriage, they cannot be married.

You however have no personal knowledge of any sin they are committing unless they act out improperly in your presence. So you approach them as you do everyone who presents themselves to others as living other than an acceptable lifestyle, in Christian charity. You hate the sin and love the sinner, but you don’t make judgment about the state of their soul and don’t presume to know what there sins are. Yes it may be that you are not able to socialize with them, if their public activities are an occasion of sin for you, or if you would be required to approve of sinful behavior by so doing. That does not mean you have to be angry with anyone. There is no place for such anger in Christian charity.


As if to claim that merely human laws are the highest arbiter of right and wrong, as if whatever the law says is more important that what the Church and Jesus say!

This issue is so serious, since what the state is seeking to do with the force of law is to mandate the acceptance of evil, and seeking to punish those (such as Catholics) who stand up for real marriage.


Well written and concise, mandateman.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit