Family Stress...


#1

Some days I just can’t take it!!! I get so upset sometimes. Things really bug me. How do I keep my temper under control? Like today, I’ve had a miserable day! How do I get along and not burst?


#2

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!! It’s been a rotten day for me. I have an 18 month old and an 8 week old, and a somewhat uncooperative husband, and I just left a huge pile of tear-dampened, wadded kleenex to respond to your message. I don’t know what to say except I know what you mean…

God bless you. May your tomorrow be much much better.


#3

Pray.
find out the cause of the stress and do what you can to fix it. For me it was always time management (I could not manage to find enough time to do everything). solution: devote one hour to prayer every day (in increments of 5 to 15 minutes if you have to), if you consecrate the hours in a day to God in this way, He will make sure you get enough hours in the day.
If it is disorganization and clutter, handle it. I learned I was sinning against the virtue of hospitality by not keeping the house straight enough for drop in company–not immaculate, just the ability to sit on a chair without moving old newspapers and laundry baskets, cleaning the kitchen floor before the baby’s feet stuck to it.
There are great books and helps out there on organizing.
If it is the behavior of the kids, read Dr. Ray Guarendi or James Dobson on discipline, even if it takes some individual or family counselling to remedy years of bad habits. It is a sublime gift to your children to teach them self-discipline.
The other great gift to them is self-reliance. Take the extra time now to teach them to do household tasks (age appropriate) rather than waiting on them hand and foot.
If you adhere to what seems to be new trend in parenting that demands you are supposed to meet every one of their physical and emotional needs instantly, throw away whatever childrearing book it hot now and get back to basic good parenting. Feed them, bathe them, clothe them, give them a safe place to sleep and play, and let them get at the business of being kids.
Pray. The Rosary is best for beat moms, it takes a mom to understand another mom, and we all know who is the best Mom.


#4

This might sound crazy, but I’m 13!:smiley: I do a lot around the house and stuff…, but I’ll keep it in mind for when I’m older.


#5

Dear Asquared,

Thank you for your kind words and good advice. Why is it that prayer is often the last thing I do when it should always be the first thing? Thanks for the reminder. God bless you and yours.


#6

Wow 13 and you are posting on here already! God bless and keep up the good work. As far as stress and temper and being 13, many of us have forgotten, but I can guarantee that none of us would want to go back to being 13 again.

Remember that having a temper can sometimes be a good thing. That means that God has given you a firm resolve. Develop the traits of having a firm resolve, but pray that this temper can be turned into a firm and unflinching and courageous faith.

Develop good habits now, pray the rosary every day and ask Our Lady how God wants you to learn self control. Remember do not be discouraged, all things are possible with God!

Whenever you feel your temper flairing and that rage growing up inside of you, separate yourself from the situation if you can and pray. Even if it is only short little ejaculations like “Oh God, have mercy on me, show me the way.” Clamp your mouth shut and don’t say anything while you are angry or emotional. Our emotions deceive us. Then try being very patient with whatever situation is happening to you that is causing your anger, because God is using this to help mold you.

I will pray for you, and I also hope you will have a better tomorrow, and you will because these are all just little storms and as a priest told me once. “All storms pass eventually, just be patient.”

God Bless!


#7

My family & I usually pray the rosary daily, but the one problem with that, is that I have absolute problems consintrating! I will focus on each mystery for a tiny bit, but then drift off on some thought! I’m also afraid Mary won’t count it as if I fully consitrated on it.:frowning:


#8

[quote=khkhk]Some days I just can’t take it!!! I get so upset sometimes. Things really bug me. How do I keep my temper under control? Like today, I’ve had a miserable day! How do I get along and not burst?
[/quote]

I PM A FRIEND :smiley: LIKE YOU :cool:


#9

[quote=khkhk]This might sound crazy, but I’m 13!:smiley: I do a lot around the house and stuff…, but I’ll keep it in mind for when I’m older.
[/quote]

Sometimes you also need a change of scenery…being stuck in the house or whatever can make things worse. I get the way you were tlaking but a lot of the times if I just leave the house I begin feeling better immediately. Once youve calmed down and can concentrate, then try to pray.


#10

Some days I just can’t take it!!! I get so upset sometimes. Things really bug me. How do I keep my temper under control? Like today, I’ve had a miserable day! How do I get along and not burst?

I’m hearing ya!!
I could have written those exact words.

Lateley I’ve decided I’m at my worst when I am sleep deprived.
Are you?

I’ve always struggled with a “flash” temper.
I’ve learned through the years that when I feel it coming on it’s best to get away somehow before I blow (even if it’s going to the next room - or locking myself into the bathroom)

I’ve learned not to tell people what I “really” think about them until I’ve thought about it for 2 days.

But yes - the advice others have given about prayer is key.
When you’re in the midst of frustration try to remember that perhaps this is an opportunity to live up to a test that God knows you struggle with.
He is always trying to instruct us towards improvement and this doesn’t happen without a struggle.

Good luck!


#11

[quote=khkhk]Some days I just can’t take it!!! I get so upset sometimes. Things really bug me. How do I keep my temper under control? Like today, I’ve had a miserable day! How do I get along and not burst?
[/quote]

I definitely know what you mean. I’m the oldest of 5 and I know how some days alls my brothers and sister can really get to me. Thank God I’m in college now! :wink: But seriously, I always feel bad after I reflect on being upset and arguing with my family. It seems like my brothers or sister are trying to get under my skin. I find the best thing to do is go somewhere private. Then pray the rosary. Ask Mary to help you calm down and let go of any problems you have had. After praying the rosary I feel much better and nothing really bugs me. The best thing is to avoid disputes or fights. This priest told me once that it is pointless to argue since it never gets you anywhere and leads to anger. He said listen to what they say and respect it. Tell them how you feel and end the conversation there. If you don’t agree just say you respect their feelings and move on.

This is all easier said than done, and I’ve failed many times when I don’t take these steps. However, when I pray and reflect on what that priest told me everything works out. :smiley:


#12

Is this one of those situations where women don’t actually want possible solutions to their stressful situations but rather they just want to share it? As a guy who’s getting married in the future I’m trying to figure out when exactly this occurs. :slight_smile:


#13

sullivansoul–you and treehugger are quite cute :slight_smile: i’m excited for you guys.


#14

[quote=sullivansoul]Is this one of those situations where women don’t actually want possible solutions to their stressful situations but rather they just want to share it? As a guy who’s getting married in the future I’m trying to figure out when exactly this occurs. :slight_smile:
[/quote]

Your future wife will let you know the differnece exactly when you shift gears from empathetic listening to problem solving…best to keep a flexible footing. Knowing what support that your future wife needs at a given time becomes a well tuned art over the years, of which I still am working on mastering. :confused:


#15

[quote=khkhk]My family & I usually pray the rosary daily, but the one problem with that, is that I have absolute problems consintrating! I will focus on each mystery for a tiny bit, but then drift off on some thought! I’m also afraid Mary won’t count it as if I fully consitrated on it.:frowning:
[/quote]

Just to commiserate a bit: you sound like me! I too have trouble sometimes concentrating on our daily rosary, especially during the busy times of the year. What I have found helpful is the rosary guides that provide an event to meditate on for each bead, rather than just the decade’s mystery. It prevents my mind from wandering. (You can find a guide like this at www.rosary-center.org)

Another place you might look for advice is St. Therese’s Story of a Soul. She talks about her trouble focusing during devotions, but she trusts that Mary will accept even these weaknesses because they are given to her in love, as a caring mother would accept and rejoice in even a bouquet of weeds given to her from her little child. I have always found this to be a powerful and comforting thought. If you haven’t read it yet, this short book can probably provide you much hope.

God Bless!


#16

Be sure to exercise each day if you can. Even a walk around the block with the kids in the stroller can help. Sounds like the impossible- but try for a holy hour each week. Trade kids w/ another mom if you have to. If your hubby isn’t keen on being home w/ the kids for that hour, promise him you’ll come back a more patient, happier, loving wife! If you live in a rural area w/ no church near by, try to have an hour of silence at home (w/ dh taking responsibility for the kids). Pray everyday for patience and the love of Christ. —KCT


#17

[quote=khkhk]Some days I just can’t take it!!! I get so upset sometimes. Things really bug me. How do I keep my temper under control? Like today, I’ve had a miserable day! How do I get along and not burst?
[/quote]

Sounds to me like you are in desperate need for some time out for YOU. Go do something you like --to a movie–a massage–or for a hike.

God Bless~~


#18

Being a young teen is a hard job, I don’t think I’d go back and do it again - so, understand that there are going to be bad times.

Pray, be active, and then, pray some more! If people are driving you crazy, look for God in them.

A story, I drive about 60 miles each way to work and back. When I am going home, I want to get home! One evening, there was a pickup in front of me who would speed up and not let me pass, only to slow back down when I stopped trying to pass. He was making me so angry that some unkind names for him popped into my head. At that moment, I said - “Hey, you would not say those things if Jesus were driving that truck”, and settled behind him.

About 10 minutes later, I tried to pass and he let me! When I was clear of his vehicle and pulled back into the right lane in front of him, I glanced in the rear view mirror. This truck had one of those fake license plates on front and it said - - -

JESUS

I try to remember how I felt in that moment, and try to see Jesus in the people and things that make me angry.

Peace -


#19

[quote=sparkle]Sounds to me like you are in desperate need for some time out for YOU. Go do something you like --to a movie–a massage–or for a hike.

God Bless~~
[/quote]

Yah, well that’s impossible when I’m always needed by someone, or even worse, I got grounded,:crying: (and the one other 13 year old on here I like to talk to who actually understands me, and is so sweet to me and actually is decent!) we haven’t talked to each other since Aug. 30 @ the earliest…that hurts sooooo much!:crying: I exercise everyday, but it doesn’t help. I hope to hear from my 13 year old friend soon!!! And starting school doesn’t help either. The kids are going to drive me insane. I have not one person I can trust around my place/school!!!:crying:


#20

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