Family troubles with conversion


#1

First post! Woo! :slight_smile:

Here’s the lowdown: I am a convert. I’m 21, been Catholic for almost a year and a half. Came out of Lutheranism (ELCA).

Basically I have had one heck of a time dealing with my family- my immediate family, like parents, and extended family, in regards to my conversion. However, since my conversion, things have gone a lot better.
I was wondering if any of you know of any apostolates dedicated to helping people deal with their families and their family life during the process of conversion. I know RCIA probably helps and I also know about Marcus Grodi’s Coming Home Network (what convert DOESN’T :wink: ). The CHN, however, isn’t so directly involved in giving advice in regards to the family of those who convert and the struggles converts have in revealing themselves to their families.

If there aren’t any apostolates specifically dedicated to this cause, I was thinking about looking in to starting one. I’m sure some of you know exactly what I’m talking about when it comes to family struggles and conversion. It can take a toll on the emotional side, although I think we would all agree, we wouldn’t give back the gift of Catholicism for anything.
blessed be God forever


#2

Hello there
I’m having the same issue with my very non-religious family. My Dad is an ex-Catholic and he and my mother are Christmas & Easter Protestants. I haven’t really told them yet (I’m planning to start RCIA in September) but I know I’m going to get a lot of flak! The good news is that my twin sister is planning on converting with me, so I have some support. But I know my parents and extended family Will Not Approve. Pray for me!


#3

I converted in from the LCMS in '06; and there’s been a lot of family flack. Although things are getting better … I’ve found that with my family; actions speak louder than words.

Prayers for all you converts and those with family struggles. :slight_smile:


#4

Hi Ryan Keith and Welcome!!!

I am a cradle Catholic but my husband is a convert from ELCA. We had some problems with his parents and one sibling. In fact, it was the brother that caused the problems with the parents for us. Our relationship to his family has been strained, but when they see that he is serious about his faith and that he isn’t going to convert back, most pretty much laid off. The funny thing is that the brother who caused most of the problems, doesn’t even go to church EVER. Last time he started in on the Catholic thing, we politely (OK not as politely as heavenly possible) reminded him that at least my husband goes to church and prays. One of their biggest objections was about how we plan to raise his daughter. She wants to be Catholic since we have been the only ones to take an interest in her spiritual education, she has been brought up Catholic. Once they realized that most things don’t change, they laid off. We did have one incident where my husbands mother told her she doesn’t have to make the sign of the cross (it embarrassed grandma) and we told her to back off and let my husband handle what his own daughter has to do or not. Now the only thing the brother does is refer to me as “That Catholic Woman” and won’t address me by name, which I could care less about. I think it has more to do with the fact that my name is Mary and I was named after our Blessed Mother than anything else.

You may receive some objections, but my advice is to show them by your actions that you are a model Catholic and Christian. After a while they will either lay off or ask questions about it. Good luck and blessings to you!!!


#5

Hey Ryan,
I am a convert to the Catholic Faith too. I understnad your pain. Try reading the book Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic: Books: David B. Currie it helped me.

You can get it here: catholiccompany.com/product_detail.cfm?ID=510

If you need to talk, we are here for you.


#6

Hello,
My husband and I are converts from fundamentalist Protestantism. Surprisingly, our parents and family have been quiet and even have come to our marriage convalidation in the Church, and have come to a Mass. Your conversion may go better than you think. Have faith in God and pray for your family’s conversion.
Lissa


#7

I’m a convert from the restoration movement variety of protestantism and my family is extremely anti-catholic. Setting boundaries is the most important thing. If my family brings up a topic at a time when I’m not prepared to deal with them charitably, I repeat my “mantra.”

“Thank you for your concern; however, I will not discuss my religious beliefs right now.” Then change the subject.

Make sure you say it in a calm way.


#8

Well, see, things have been a lot better for me lately, and my thoughts were more geared to finding a solution to help those people who are currently converting or who are still having family flack regarding conversion.

My family has definitely laid off and have even ever so slowly began asking questions. This may have to do with the fact that I told them I am considering priesthood :smiley: that still freaks me out to say that.

Keep this going this is good. I think as converts we have such a great responsibility to live externally and internally the Gospel message, so as to be witnesses to Jesus. Can you believe how much the Holy Spirit uses you once you let Him? I can’t tell you how many people have asked me “why” and how much the Holy Spirit has used me to witness.

If you are converting and having a hard time- DO NOT GIVE UP. You will never be closer to Jesus than the Eucharist in His Catholic Church. Things may be hard and it hurts sometimes because people don’t understand, don’t care, and don’t give support. It’s so counter-cultural: I know this, I was 19 when I converted.

My first post is quite fun!


#9

I totally understand about family having issues. I converted back in 91 and I still have issues with my father and extended family. I do know though that I am where i’m supposed to be…Catholic relgion. :slight_smile:
Don’t give up. Hopefully your family will undestand someday.
I’ll say prayers for you.


#10

My pastor was a convert too… He said it was hard to explain that he knew he was going to be a priest to his parents even before he was Catholic…


#11

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.