Fathers and teenage daughters- Who's in charge?


#1

Considering the way a lot of girls dress nowadays, (very seductively) I am wondering what the fathers have to say about this. Do fathers have any input into how their daughters dress in public? Do fathers really approve of their teenage daughters showing cleavage and/or their feminine form? What are men thinking when they look at your daughter if she is dressed this way and does it bother you? Do fathers see themselves as protectors and heads of their family or do they feel powerless to enforce any rules?


#2

I’m a father of three, none are daughters however. Had I had a daughter, she would not have been permitted to dress “seductively.” I believe that fathers very much have a say about this. More than that, they have a responsibility. As for the head of the family question… ideally, yes, fathers are the head of their families as well as the protectors. Hopefully, the mothers supports her husbands in these roles. God bless.


#3

I have a little girl she is 18 months and I already don’t like the swim wear. looking for the 1 piece you know what I mean. to answer your question yes we care yes we have a say. and the day I catch her wearing someone else’s cloths she knows I don’t approve of the defecation will hit the rotary oscillating device.


#4

I don’t have any daughters, but I am a daughter and my dad would never have allowed me to dress in a sexy manner, but the other day a man and his daughter came into our barber shop and the girl wore a pair of pants that had the word “Juicy!” accross the rear. I just don’t get why a dad would let her wear something like that!


#5

If the parents aren’t in charge when the kid is 4, they won’t be in charge when the kid is 14. This is the responsibility of BOTH parents, not just fathers.

Discipline and structure are lacking in most homes as is parental involvement and supervision. Many parents are influenced by the secular culture and wear such attire themselves!


#6

Many parents of teenagers are afraid of their kids. They were afraid of them when they were toddlers, afraid of them in childhood, and even more afraid of them as teens.

By the time they are dressing scandalously in public, the territory has already been surrendered.


#7

I’m a stay-at-home dad of 3 kids, two sons 16,10 and a daughter 4
The problem is when parents don’t act like parents and take charge of their kids from the start. My kids know who the boss is in the house. Not to sound like a dictator, but they know that what we say… goes. They have their freedom to make choices and when they make the wrong choice they are corrected, and punished if needed.
I keep hearing that the girls should not be allowed to wear things that are “sexy” or revealing. I agree. But how about not allowing them to buy those things in the first place. Hey here’s a revelation… go through their closet and take those cloths out so the whole problem is avoided. You say they will hide the cloths?
Then go through the rest of their room and find them. My kids know that if I think something is up or they are being “out of character” I’m going to go through their whole room… under bed, in drawers, behind boxes… wherever. Privacy is thier’s to a point but they know that nothing is “off-limits” to the “Dad Search”

Love and respect your kids… but for goodness sakes be their parents… not their best friend.

Paul


#8

If only more parents felt the same way!! :shrug:


#9

I with Paul there is a time for nice and a time for the Nazi to come out. Dress must be a draconian issue for parents. Style is one thing modesty is totally another.


#10

Hmm, could this have been a fair warning to not follow too closely behind due to incontinence or some sort of transient intestinal distress?
:wink:
James


#11

:whacky: One thing is for sure. When she walked out of the barber shop guess what everyone was looking at :blush:


#12

Father of three married daughters. Never had the problem you’re discussing.
Daughters not intending to enter a celibate life style should dress in a fashion to attract a suitable husband.

Matthew


#13

I am a mom but I can tell you my 16 yo dd absolutely has to have mom and dad’s approval on clothing…We will be in a store and dd will say to me, “Dad would never let me have this because he wouldn’t like what it says.” It was a St Patricks day tee shirt, but for some reason this year they were all pretty slutty… One said, “Feeling Lucky” and NO dh would never let her buy it or wear it…
As far as it goes, there are times when I have to talk to him in private about his choice because he tends to be too conservative in his approval of clothing… like when he didn’t want her to get a pair of shoes because he thought they looked too sexy… they were shoes… they covered the feet… yes they have a heel but she is 16 and can walk in them and it is totally appropriate to wear heels with her dress for the formal dance she was going to. This is why both of us go shopping with the kids for clothing!


#14

I love this topic. I have 2 daughters a 14 yo and an 11 yo. Both my DH and I reserve the right to veto their clothing choices. We have allowed the girls to shop with their friends and have returned clothes that they purchased that we didn’t feel were appropriate.

Our biggest struggle right now is finding shorts that are an appropriate length. If I wanted to buy clothing that covers the same as a bandaid I’d just buy a bandaid.:rolleyes:

Bathing suits are another area of struggles. We went last weekend and found some sports thype bathing suits at scheels. We paid a lot for them but they cover more that the tiny bikini’s that you see in all stores.

It is a struggle… THis made me think of a shirt that I recently saw at Vanity…it said “Textually Active” What parent in their right mind would allow that?

I wish there is more to do to change the styles and availability.


#15

There is a difference between looking beautiful and looking sexy, though. Modern society confuses the two. Lots of magazines, advertisements, and celebrities now depict women who don’t look fit to bear a child.

I believe that “looking sexy” is not a good thing (unless it’s for your spouse). Attracting men purely by arousing them is likely to attract a man who has his priorities out of order, in addition to being a sin (leading others into sin).

When I see a woman who is dressed inappropriately, they immediately my respect and my interest. If they wish to present themselves as a sex object, so be it. I am not interested. I’m in college, I see this all the time.

I have a great deal of respect for women who do not succumb to cleavage and the like. I know it isn’t easy.


#16

Hi,
Well I do such a good job policing my 15 year olds clothes my hubby need not worry;)

Of course my daughter gets mad at me in regards to bathing suits. I say tough noogies:p

I dress moderately as well. I like to be a good example of how to be trendy without being slutty. It can be done.:smiley:
Since I have raised her since birth to dress modestly–she is pretty good about it. If you start from day ONE with high expectations-she will follow them.:wink:

If we are in seperate stores at the mall she will take a picture on her CP of the outfit and show me later to see if I approve or not.

I will continue to police her clothes until she is in college and Im not around anymore to police.:frowning: Only 3 years away:(

P.S. for any parents out there—when your daughter wants to wear something immodest–ask her what message is it that she wants to send with that oufit!!


#17

and NO dh would never let her buy it or wear it…
As far as it goes, there are times when I have to talk to him in private about his choice because he tends to be too conservative in his approval of clothing… like when he didn’t want her to get a pair of shoes because he thought they looked too sexy… they were shoes… they covered the feet… yes they have a heel but she is 16 and can walk in them and it is totally appropriate to wear heels with her dress for the formal dance she was going to. This is why both of us go shopping with the kids for clothing!
I don’t get it. What is wrong with feeling lucky on St. Patty’s? That does not seem to be a double entendre or have innuendo to me. Am I too naive? Am I missing something?


#18

Yes, it is an innuendo. :frowning:


#19

Unfortunately, most people don’t associate St. Patrick’s day with an English bishop who was abducted as a child and forced into slavery, then escaped and made it home, studied to be a priest, then RETURNED to his captors to evangelize.

Too many see it as an excuse to party-hardy till the cows come home… And kick you out of some random stranger’s bed…
:frowning: very sad :frowning:

BTW: I don’t have kids, but I teach middle school. I have a good enough relationship with my students that I can compliment them when they are dressed nicely (and modestly) without it sounding creepy. But when addressing school dress code to the class, my favorite line is to ask the girls to make sure everything that is supposed to be covered IS covered…You know…make sure Victoria has a few secrets left.
Good for giggles, but drives the message home.


#20

You are definitely missing it:eek: It is sexual in nature:mad:
The only shirts I let my teen where with writing is the name of the Co. who made the t-shirt.:wink:


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