Favour to ask (mainly wanting to hear from men)


#1

I read a lot of posts where women share that their husbands have cheated or look at porn and other such stuff. These post sometimes get quite heated. Some men feel there is no recognition for the nice guys, some women seem to think other women should just learn to live with it and other women are just plain angry. There are various opinions.

Well, here is the favour I would like to ask men (married or single) and women (probably a married woman could answer this best).

Being a single women that never married and living in this oversexed world of ours, I rarely hear anything about gentlemen. Can the women share stories of things their husbands do to respect them? Can the men share things they do to respect their women? Can men share methods they have learned to stay away from temptations. And the big favour I am
asking (I know it is a asking a lot). Could men please praise women in some posts.

The reason I ask is because I want to believe their are good guys out there. I need to be reminded they exist. Let’s share the good news! Let’s have a post were we can be reminded of the positive aspects of the differences of the two different genders God created.

Ok, so since I am asking, I think it is only fair I go first. I will say a nice thing about men. I appreciate the way even in our supposedly equal rights society, the majority of men still insist on opening doors for women. I think it is a very humbling thing for a man to do which is a big compliment to a woman.

Thanks

CM


#2

Well I’m in a relationship (and in high school :p) and I pay for 98% of all dates for my girlfriend. That’s kind of a ‘no duh’ so here’s another- I drive her home from practice at least 2 days a week, a round trip of about 12 miles. I also have her and her sister over for dinner whenever they need it (free of charge duh!). This is probably stretching it, but I confess to her if I slip and look at porn or accidently see something I shouldn’t. I tell her all. I respect her wishes on dates too, and won’t do anything she’ll feel guilty about (we went just about a month with nothing but hugs and light kisses).

Now to avoid temptation, I pray the Rosary every single day and pray the Effacacious (sp. sorry) Novena of 3 Hail Mary’s for Purity of Heart. I have a strong devoition to the BVM. :slight_smile:

So there’s my post :slight_smile:


#3

Oh my! This is precious! :):thumbsup:


#4

Oooh, pick me! I will tell you about the man I have held other men up to for years! (When I was 8 I promised myself I would hunt me and catch me a man like this.) My grandpa, who got married in his early twenties to his child bride, not only never cheated, but probably never looked at another woman. He was a faithful Catholic all of his life. He prays the daily Rosary. He had MANY children (no, not 4), whom he supported by working his rear off up to seven days a week, looong days at backbreaking work. The fact of the matter is, he was so used to working, that he was never still, and when he became ill and had to rest, he went stir-crazy. Naturally, raising oodles of children didn’t exactly leave him with a retirement plan, and so when he became ill later in life, way past retirement age, he continued to work so that his bride of more than 50 years would be looked after. He is a shining example to his children and to every one of his ridiculously large numbers of grandchildren. Obviously he is generous, but he is also modest, in both senses of the word - you will never catch him casting attention on himself, and he will go out of his way to avoid saying something that could be construed as smutty. :p:D Basically, I could go on all day, but if you don’t get the point by now, you will just have to take my word for it that he is darling. :smiley:


#5

[quote="cmscms, post:1, topic:185299"]
Can men share methods they have learned to stay away from temptations. CM

[/quote]

I have taken to making the sign of the cross over my Laptop before I begin using it. As I make the sign of the cross, I say a very short prayer to God: "For a Holy Purpose". My internal intention is to state a fact and to ask for grace sort of simultaneously, so that my actions with the Laptop are limited to those things which are holy.

I think this same prayer does wonders when I am in the video store, flipping through channels on the Tv, etc...

Gene


#6

I love my wife and now even more after seeing her be such a great mom (we have a 6 month old.) But I realized that by looking at racy material I am disrespecting her, my daughter and myself. I thought “would I want my wife and daughter to know that I view this stuff?” NO, and I have been free from viewing any sort of sexual material for a while now. I joined the church last year and it has made me a better man, husband and father. I think that we as men need to show affection and say “I love you.” I leave a note everyday for my wife in her car before she leaves for work, just a little love note or thank you to start her day. Living without viewing sinful material has made my life better. I want to be a strong example to my wife and daughter.


#7

Here are some reasons why my husband is the best:

He works two jobs so that I can stay at home with the baby, but he constantly tells me that I have the harder job. He tries to help with the housework when he can, although I’ve told him it shouldn’t be his responsibility.

He always tells me that I’m beautiful, even when I was pregnant and fat. He says that he doesn’t mind the baby weight I haven’t lost and doesn’t think I need to diet.

We’ve been married for three years, and he still opens the door for me (well, unless he’s carrying the baby).

He’s always doing nice things for strangers, like rushing across the room to carry something for an elderly person. (That’s how I knew he wasn’t just putting on an act when we were dating.)

He’s always on top of the yard work. Since my dad never did the yard work, and I grew up embarrassed of my parents’ house, I really appreciate this!

He always appologizes if he acts unreasonably.

He’s my best friend.


#8

*Bravo! You will make a special lady, a very special husband someday. Your parents have done something very very right in how they’ve raised you…:slight_smile: *


#9

*This is a great thread…

When I look at my husband, I see in him a lot of what St Paul tells us love ‘‘should’’ be…not jealous, boastful, kind and not self seeking, etc…My husband is a lot of those things. He is a very strong role model as a dad for the kids, and the rock of the house…a very strong man, I’d say. He doesn’t fuss over cooking and cleaning if the house needs it, and he has the day off. He does what needs to be done. We argue at times, but he is always good to admit his wrongs, and work hard to fix things…and he has taught me to be better in this regard. I just love that guy. lol :love: *


#10

[quote="Cajun_Girl, post:7, topic:185299"]
He always tells me that I'm beautiful, even when I was pregnant and fat.

[/quote]

Pregnant isn't fat. When are you ladies going to figure that out? He isn't being nice, he's actually being honest. A healthy guy digs what his pregnant wife looks like. It ain't fat, its a miracle.

Men, like, women are basically good, but fallen. We DO have sinful inclinations and they AREN'T always the same onew women have. Virtually every guy will have temptations towards porn or masturbation at times. The key for a guy is to avoid the occasion of the temptation. Don't subscribe to pay TV that has that kind of programming. Don't rent those kinds of movies. Don't have a Victoria's Secret catalog in the house (buy what you need and toss it ladies!). Computers introduce a tougher element because they are always there. Much easier to fall to an impulse. If you find that happens to you, get a filter and type gibberish for a password or have your wife or someone else you trust hold the password. Make it hard to fall on an impulse and the success rate goes way up. Way up.

I find it is easiest to respect my wife's contribution to family life by doing at least a little bit of everything she does. Cooking, groceries, laundry, toilets, diapers, mopping, kid care the odd Saturday she works... With my full time job I can never do as much at home as she does, but experiencing a taste of it often enough makes you appreciate that it is every bit as much work as my own work/job (and a lot noisier!).

Another thing every man should do for his woman is figure out some of her interests / hobbies and make sure she gets time and budget to engage in them often enough. My wife likes photography and knitting. I thought the latter would be the cheap one.... not so much! But making sure she gets to pursue her interests makes her feel valued and appreciated too.

The one request I'd have of the ladies is that once in a while you also try to take a stab at things the husband usually does. Same reason. It may appear that us guys are tinkering in the garage having ourselves a good old time, but replacing your radiator is a bit less fun than it may look. Please don't count it as my leisure time! ;)

OK, bad example but surely y'all can handle a paint brush, lawn mower, weed whacker, tree pruner or swimming pool filter, right? He'll appreciate that you lower yourself once in a while to man work and you'll get a better sense of what he's up to.


#11

My husband hands me the car keys whenever I've had a rough day with the kids, and I go out, have a nice meal, and do whatever I like.Had to laugh at the last response though: whenever I pick up a paintbrush or a screwdriver, a look of terror comes over his face! :)


#12

I guess I have been very blessed. I very, very rarely feel a temptation to look at pornography. However, for me, the best way to avoid sexual temptation is to exercise and pray. If you are tired, you won't feel tempted as often.

I have to admit that I am very blessed to be with my girlfriend. We have been together for 3 1/2 years. I love her femininity, her beauty, her sense of humor, her sense of style, her voice, her eyes, her skin, her beauty, her feet (that sounds weird but she has cute feet :p), and pretty much everything else about her.

To show my love and respect for my girlfriend, I try to always keep my sense of humor and not lose my temper, I always give her the biggest or best piece/ serving of food (even though she is petite and usually can't finish), I surprise her with little presents (even if it is just her favorite flavor of ice breakers mints), I always try to carry all of the heavy things when we go backpacking so she isn't over burdened, I try to take care of her and encourage her whenever I can. She is a wonderful and amazing woman. I think the little things are the most important. I think that if men do little things daily for the women we love it means much more than flashy things done sparingly.


#13

I also agree with manualman, pregnant is not fat- at all. Pregnant women are very, very beautiful. I can't wait to have a beautiful pregnant wife!


#14

I’m single, but I do have some cute stories from my past fiancee (God rest his soul). In college I had a record deal, and I was dropped before it was released. I was flying home, and was physically and emotionally drained, and also angry. :mad: When I got home, he was waiting there,and gave me a big hug. And then he pulled out this beautiful gun. :smiley: We went shooting my backyard (20 acres), and it was exactly what I needed. To this day I still have it, and I use it whenever I have a bad day. :stuck_out_tongue: Good thing I live about a mile away fro ma shooting range.
I know that story sounds like I’m a big ol’ redneck. :smiley: It makes me cry and smile at the same time.


#15

I thank God every day for providing St.Joseph as a model (and intercessor) of how a husband/father should be - and how a marriage and family can be truly happy. This changed my marriage and my life around! Anything less is like a betrayal unto Mary Herself!:slight_smile:
To me, my wife is as a living model of Mary (I can’t think of a higher praise for any woman here on earth)- and my family to be as the Holy Family. We have our faults, but the Holy Family lets us see them so that we can go about amending them!


#16

What an awesome man, CS.

CMSCS, the door is the top of the iceberg, as much as it is a worthy probe. :smiley: I’m moved that you appreciate that, though. In the older times, kissing the hand was a normal greeting, a lady would be escorted on an arm… I don’t want to go on and enumerate because then it will become just a list of etiquettal items without deeper value. The deeper value is there or should be.


#17

I am pleasantly surprised at all the answers. I was nervous to start this thread and scared people would find it corny. Thank you all for your honest reply.

Chevalier, the reason I so appreciate men holding doors open unfortunately does not stem from the best of reasons. I was fat as a kid and my mom kept my hair short and I can still remember people asking her if I was a boy. It hurt and I never believed I was pretty or desirable as a woman. So I guess the fact that a man notices I am a woman is enough for me to totally appreciate a door being held open. Sad but true

CM


#18

My husband is the best! He always does more than his share of the chores. He also comes along with me when I go grocery shopping, if he’s not working, to carry the groceries and push the cart. (Amazingly, he doesn’t ask me to buy junk food, either! He just comes to help!) And the most amazing thing these days, which he does because I’m pregnant and tired, is to set his alarm clock to my get-up time (6:30) even on his days off, so that he can help me get out of bed. Often he gives me a backrub before I get up because I have terrible back pain in the mornings. He also wakes up when I get up in the middle of the night, and asks me if I need anything. He even sometimes drives me to work and back when he has a day off – which, considering I have a 45 minute commute, is really something! I had to ask him to stop because it wastes gas and toll money, but I loved the thought.

He never even looks at another woman, so I guess I’ll never know if this is willpower on his part, or he simply isn’t attracted to them. (I know my dad considers my mom so much more attractive than any other woman in the world that he actually forgets that other women are women at all, so when my mom complains about a woman’s dress or attitude, he honestly says he doesn’t notice.) My husband does complain to me when he sees a woman immodestly dressed – he tends to say, “She looks like she’s desperate for attention,” or, “I don’t know why she thinks that’s attractive.” However, he is respectful to all women regardless.


#19

Married woman here :slight_smile: My husband doesn’t do the traditional signs of respect for women, which is fine with me. Instead, he simply shows respect for my skills and abilities the same way he would to anyone else - including those uniquely female abilities, like gestating a baby or nursing a young child. He does extra work around the house when I am pregnant or nursing, and is especially patient with me when I get stressed from combining those things with a work life and motherhood.

When I was earning triple his income, he quit work to be a SAHD and support my career - and my role as mother, since I had more time with the kids if he was able to take care of the house during the day. When we needed more income after getting hit by the recession, he looked and looked for work (11 months!) until he found a job - and took it, even though it was a pretty lousy job and quite humbling for him.

He held my hand during all of my painful contractions while I was in labor with our daughter born 9 days ago, and told me over and over again how much he loved me, for hours - and labor really was less painful because of him and his affectionate care for me. Incidentally, this was not something that came naturally to him - he had to learn how to support me during labor and he was very awkward at first, but he kept trying anyways until he found what worked.

He treats my values as if they were his own, as well as my friendships and any hobbies or activities I take up. I truly feel as cherished as if I were part of his own body.


#20

Married almost 22 years to a man who learned from the best... his own father!

DH not only works hard, he pitches in at home FAR more than I do (laundry, dishes, trash, cleaning MY cats' litter box, etc.), he opens doors for me, compliments me on my cooking and THANKS me for making dinner (even when it's not his favorite or doesn't turn out quite like it should! :D) His dad prayed 4 or 5 rosaries a day and DH also has a very deep prayer life (I first saw him at Mass when he went with a friend of his.) He tells me I'm beautiful and compliments me in front of his friends and to his co-workers... they razz him about being on a "short leash" because he comes home eagerly every afternoon and he tells them, "Why would I want to hang out with you guys when I've got a gorgeous woman waiting for me at home?" (Who needs flowers when you're getting that kind of PR?)

He calls me at work "just to hear my voice" (yes, sometimes it's to ask me to pick up something, but a lot of times, it's just to say hello!), he listens when I prattle on and on about silly stuff (I mean, REALLY listens, not just nods and says "uh, huh"!) and he encourages me when the going gets rough.

He's an awesome father to our son... I see a family tradition continuing here!

AND... he took such tender care of his father AND MY FATHER in their final illnesses (his dad had a brain aneurysm, quite sudden, but he lingered at home for three days until he passed; my dad had pancreatic cancer and we commuted 100 miles each way every week for six weeks to help my sister care for him) and now, he looks after his mother AND MY MOTHER'S needs around their homes... fixing what needs to be fixed, lawn work, and just visiting and spending time with them.

You will NEVER hear me say one negative thing about my DH, even if he deserved it, because I know I'm not perfect and you'll never hear him say one negative thing about me!


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