Fear and sadness about children


#1

Ever since my son was born, I have a fear of something bad happening to him. I love him so much and want him to have a full, happy life. I know I can’t control what happens to him, but I don’t know how to let go of this fear. I also get extremely sad when I think about babies that die due to miscarriage or when really young. I just don’t understand why innocent babies have to die- I mean I do, I understand about original sin and suffering and an imperfect world, I just don’t know how to stop feeling sad about it. How do you all cope with this broken world?


#2

Excellent question and feel the same way sometimes.

I would suggest prayer, pray the rosary, the chaplet of divine mercy, the Angelus.

I don’t know if thinking of it this way will help, but it does me. Babies and young kids are pretty much guaranteed heaven with God, and their is no greater joy. I have to remind myself to actually look forward to death, with the hope that I too will be united with Christ in heaven.

I will keep you in my prayers and say a decade of the rosary for you and for children that die.


#3

Totally normal! How long ago was your son born? I had the exact same feelings as you the minute I had my son and even up until 6 months of age... then I started thinking about other things. Of course I am still worried about things happening to him.. but I don't think about it as often.

I would cry non stop a few days after his birth ... I would look at him. He had perfect skin... not a single scar yet! When they first punctured his heel for a blood sample, I started bawling... he had never had a puncture in his life! I also felt horribly sad that I gave birth to a miracle... but that the little innocent guy would die. Why did I give birth to someone who would eventually die????

Normal feelings, and I attributed mine to post partum baby blues. This is why I ask how long ago you had your son...

From a Catholic point of view, we should be thrilled that we are offered eternal life with Jesus. Thrilled that even though we sin, we are forgiven when we confess. Yes life is fragile... but there is so much more that we don't know about :)


#4

[quote="luvchrist4ever, post:1, topic:179965"]
Ever since my son was born, I have a fear of something bad happening to him. I love him so much and want him to have a full, happy life. I know I can’t control what happens to him, but I don’t know how to let go of this fear. I also get extremely sad when I think about babies that die due to miscarriage or when really young. I just don’t understand why innocent babies have to die- I mean I do, I understand about original sin and suffering and an imperfect world, I just don’t know how to stop feeling sad about it. How do you all cope with this broken world?

[/quote]

I think it is normal how you feel :) entrust your son to the love of God, and remember He is a Father and loves you and your son more than anyone can even imagine. He loves your son too... trust Him and pray for your son. Your'e right that suffering exists because of sin, God does not want it that way, but He can use suffering when it occurs. One day, when the world will be made new, He'll take it all away. God bless


#5

Welcome to parenthood!:D

My oldest is 18, and that fear resurfaces every now and again, especially when he is out driving late at night in the ice and snow. I worry about a drunk driver hitting him, a deer jumping in front of his car, what he will do in college, and if he and beautiful, faithful Catholic girlfriend will always "behave", etc. ;)

I think I probably will worry on and off my entire life about my children. Afterall, isn't that a mother's job? Worrying about her children's safety, happiness, health, and well-being?


#6

[quote="Catholic90, post:5, topic:179965"]
Welcome to parenthood!:D

My oldest is 18, and that fear resurfaces every now and again, especially when he is out driving late at night in the ice and snow. I worry about a drunk driver hitting him, a deer jumping in front of his car, what he will do in college, and if he and beautiful, faithful Catholic girlfriend will always "behave", etc. ;)

I think I probably will worry on and off my entire life about my children. Afterall, isn't that a mother's job? Worrying about her children's safety, happiness, health, and well-being?

[/quote]

A BIG DITTO!! MY OLDEST DRIVES. MY WILD CHILD SECOND ONE GETS HIS PERMIT THIS SUMMER!! :eek: :eek: :eek:


#7

Hello Luv4Christ,
Welcome to parenthood (or motherhood)!
You didn’t mentioned how long ago your child was born.
If it was within the last year, the baby-blues is a very normal reaction.
I remember crying uncontrollably and having my feelings hurt out of nothing for at least 3 months after my first born.
The doctor did not diagnosed me, but I was lucky to join a post-natal/nursing group sponsored by the hospital. The nurse was able to see the signs and give me proper referrals.

Make sure to talk to the doctor/nurse or join a new-mom’s group. There is power (and knowledge) in numbers. Don’t try to do all by yourself.

It sounds silly, but try to rest. To heck with the housework. Recover, and allow help from family and friends with chores. Also your Church might have a mom’s group that will bring food and company after the birth of a child.

Good luck on your new parenting adventure!


#8

mine is 7 moths old. I remember when I was on maternity leave right after she was born, I would take her out in her swing while I worked in the garden. I always had this recurring daytime nightmare that a hawk or eagle or buzzard would sweep down and take her away (for dinner! :eek:) It had me worked up to the point that I buckeled her into her carseat and kept her within an arms reach at all times when I was out there!

then the other night there was a show on called "i shouldn't be alive" in which a young couple with a 5 month old boy were stranded in the mountains in snowy, frigid idaho for 9 days with no food or water. they survived but I haven't been able to stop thinking about them!

right after she was born I was listening to the news and a family in tx or somewhere had a pet boa constrictor that got loose and crawled into the baby's crib and strangled their baby girl to death. oh I still feel queezy over that one!

I see dangers everywhere now. it's borderline ridiculous. I mean for example, yesterday I was making cookies and she was playing in her walker in the kitchen and I had to move it because I got thinking what if the mixer falls on her?! then she was by the counter I had baking sheets stacked on, that wouldn't work, moved her again... then too close to the garbage (what if there were jumping germs? or if she grabbed a piece of plastic...) it's amazing I get anything done!

wow I sound like a nut! but if it makes you feel better (as in not alone) then it's worth it. :hug3: Good luck, lets hope it gets better for all of us!


#9

[quote="luvchrist4ever, post:1, topic:179965"]
Ever since my son was born, I have a fear of something bad happening to him. I love him so much and want him to have a full, happy life. I know I can’t control what happens to him, but I don’t know how to let go of this fear. I also get extremely sad when I think about babies that die due to miscarriage or when really young. I just don’t understand why innocent babies have to die- I mean I do, I understand about original sin and suffering and an imperfect world, I just don’t know how to stop feeling sad about it. How do you all cope with this broken world?

[/quote]

Losing a child is the worst possible thing that can happen to anyone and every parent fears it. Just let them go and realize that God loves them more than you ever will.


#10

I know how you feel (I'm a worse case scenario worrier myself). And since I have some very vivid, realistic nightmares quite often that does not help (and they don't stop right before the bad part, they continue through to the end). I have lost so much sleep over it all and have stayed up crying (and mourning) the loss that I fear could happen (I know, crazy, right). But as others have said, it may be your lack of trust or forgetting that they are on loan from God. Usually when these thoughts dominate my mind I go to confession b/c I realize that b/c of this fear I am not loving God and putting Him first. Confession may help you too.:thumbsup:


#11

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