Fear for salvation of family members?


(my intention in this thread is not to say anything bad about my family, but because I’m at the end of my rope here lol.)

I know that we should leave others’ salvation up to God and entrust them to Him… I also know that we don’t know anyone else’s hearts and where they spiritually.

But sometimes I get so worried about the salvation of my family that I feel genuinely afraid and can’t stop thinking about it!

I’m not saying I’m “more saved” than they are…

I’m a sinner myself, probably more than them.

But my family doesn’t go to church and sometimes the things my mom says about spiritual things really worry me… like she told me that I should work, not pray, and depend on myself not on God. And that we “don’t really know” if there is the afterlife and such. She told me I go to church too much and am becoming fanatical. And this totally breaks my heart…not for my sake but because I start worrying so much. I start worrying also that I’m having a negative effect on her and leading her away from God, not towards Him! this causes me a lot of guilt, because my intention is the opposite, and I’m trying to really not be pushy, but just a joyful Christian…

and my grandma doesn’t believe in God, as far as I know…

I’ve been praying every day that my family would go to Confession and Communion this summer (they’re Eastern Orthodox), and it doesn’t seem to be happening!!

do you think this is judgemental of me?? (be honest)

I’m not saying they’re on the way to hell and I’m going to Heaven. Not at all. I think a lot about my salvation too. And a part of me always hopes that my mom doesn’t REALLY mean those words, but just says them cause she’s upset.

Well at least my (mom and dad) believe in God and there have been times when I could see the situation really improving…

but some of my really good friends, they don’t even believe, and a few are into wicca and stuff like that! :frowning:

do you ever feel that your heart just breaks for people?

Do you think if you pray for someone’s conversion every day and you pray to Jesus, our Blessed Mother, and the Saints (like in my case: St Therese, St Padre Pio, St Faustina, and St Anthony of Padua) - that it would actually happen?? what if you offered a Mass for them (cause I heard you can offer it for living people too)?

another problem is my WORRY and fear because that’s clear evidence of distrust in God :frowning: I wish I trusted Him more…

if you have a moment, could you please say a prayer for my family and friends.

thanks so much.

God bless


I am praying for your family and friends, and please stop worrying and trust in God…


My dear friend Monica

I’m praying for you all. I posted my thoughts on my thread here forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=353331 It may offer some comfort and tips that can help? See if it’s useful to you.

God bless you dear friend:thumbsup::slight_smile:



thank you! :slight_smile:

I was praying about this last night and I really feel that I might have been too judgemental of my family in my heart. It is right to want our family members and friends to be saved, it is right to pray for them to come to the Sacraments… but I should remember my own sins too, and not consider myself “closer to God” than they are, or more likely to be saved in the end. There are miracles of grace that happen all the time… and only God knows all our hearts!

So I will continue praying for my family… and I’ll pray as much as I can… but I hope, without a sense of superiority, but rather to help out those who are on on the same journey as I am. When I’ll pray that my family would come to the Sacraments, I hope I will ask this simply because the Sacraments are wonderful gifts from God that I want them to experience too.

thanks again :slight_smile:
God bless.


I don’t think it’s judgemental, I think it’s compassionate – you care whether your family and friends make it to heaven! I have similar feelings to what you’re experiencing. I’ve found that praying to St. Monica and praying the chaplet of Divine Mercy for family members helps my anxiety and I hope it will help my family members. (Visit the St. Monica’s thread in the Family Life section (it’s a sticky at the top) – it’s not just for spouses, but children and other family too.)

As to whether praying to the saints will “make” your desired outcome happen, we can’t know that. We just have to pray faithfully and trust in God that he loves our family and friends even more than we do, and that He wants them to come home to Him too.

Praying for you and your family now. :crossrc: :hug1:


Sometimes we ourselves are the biggest obstacle in converting our family and friends.


I pray for my family all the time. St. Monica prayed for her son, St. Augustine most of her life. He did not come about until shortly before her death.

We must trust in the Lord, but we should make our wishes and desires for the salvation of our loved ones known. Prayers, masses and sacramentals are all worthwhile. You may look into the “green scapular” devotion.

No one knows who ends up being saved, we certainly hope and pray our loved ones will be with us. You would think that Heaven could not be a completely joyous place if any of the folks we cared about couldn’t be there.


How ignorant of you to say that non-christians (such as wiccans) will go to hell. If “god” were to banish us to a realm of eternal torment for not choosing his faith (even though the messages are similar in other faiths- such as the wiccan rede, or buddhism which teaches peace), then he would be an awful father towards the children he “loves” so much.
Just calm down, no one is going to hell for not being “saved”. I believe, that if one lives a good life (not one living a life of “worshiping”), then they will be saved (“saved” being the view of christian faith, not being a true fact). Living a life of god’s teachings (love, generally) then that is a form of worshiping him itself.
And please, no bashing me for stating my opinion, that’s just pathetic. Everyone has their own beliefs, this is mine, and no christian can change it.


Monica, I understand your situation; my parents are both atheists. I’ll be sure to pray for your family too.

Pardon me my dear, but you accuse us of doing exactly what you’ve just done; bashing people’s beliefs. The people here are concerned for others, not lording their faith over others. We believe that salvation can only come through cooperation with God’s Grace, to refuse to follow that is a rejection of Him, and making the choice of hell. We are not making presumption about anyone’s salvation - not even our own.


I’m sorry if you’re offended BlackAutumn, but in the end I have to follow the teachings of my Church. :slight_smile:

what the Church teaches is that the only way non Christians (and even non Catholics) can be saved (if they don’t turn to Christ before they die) is through invinsible ignorance. That’s if they just never heard of Christ, or never understood Him enough to accept Him, but still lived a good life according to their conscience (natural law). However if someone were to reject Christ knowingly, they can not be saved. It is not for us to say though WHO rejects Christ in this way, we don’t know about any individual, only God knows. So we (Catholics) can’t say who in particular will go to Heaven and who will go to hell: that is not for us to decide.

So will there be non Christians in Heaven? yes, but only those who were invinsibly ignorant… who were non Christians through no fault of their own. (for example, those who were born into another religion and never even looked into Christianity cause they never heard much about it.)

the reason we believe this, is because we believe Christ is the way to the Father… yes there are some teachings that we share with other religions, like about love for neighbour and peace, but ultimately it’s not teachings that can save our souls - it is Christ Himself who can save our souls. He didn’t just give us a way to Heaven…He IS the way to Heaven.

I hope that sort of clarifies the Catholic view, which is different from the Protestant, the fundamentalist, or the evangelical view.

Peace :slight_smile:


(btw, I’m Monica4316, I just changed my name)

:hug1: thank you! :slight_smile:

I can see how that can be true, yes.

thank you :slight_smile: whenever I think of the story of St Monica and St Augustine, it’s so encouraging. I think it really shows the importance of perseverence in prayer… I will try to persevere :wink:

thank you :hug1: I will also pray for your family!

Pardon me my dear, but you accuse us of doing exactly what you’ve just done; bashing people’s beliefs. The people here are concerned for others, not lording their faith over others. We believe that salvation can only come through cooperation with God’s Grace, to refuse to follow that is a rejection of Him, and making the choice of hell. We are not making presumption about anyone’s salvation - not even our own.

that’s true, the Church teaches that we can’t know for certain that we are saved, or that others are saved or not saved. We just have the hope of salvation :slight_smile: and we trust in God. We also pray for others that they may be saved too… we also believe that God leads people to Himself through grace.

God bless


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