Fed up with my sin and masturbation... :(

hey guys, i am really on the brink right now because i am seriously fed up with my masturbation habits… i go to mass every sunday and am enrolled in a seminar which is 7 weeks long… i have great joy in the church and everything is great… and i always stumble on fridays with pornography… i cant understand it… im fed up with it… i dont know why i do it… and quite frankily i dont like offending god…

when will this habit be overcome?? im really waiting on something to click in my head or trigger me to fix it… i know i dont have to masturbate i just seem to go online dating sites because im bored and then the stupidity begins… i would never do that in person ;(

im in tears now, i am dissappointed, i want to be in heaven already… i want my head to be right…

i can really use your prayers. i want freedom from this forever , not just for a week or two even though the freedom is great… i dont want to stumble :frowning:

I will pray for you. At the mean time, try to defeat your lower desire with a higher love from God. Always remember that masturbation and pornography turns your heart away from God. And there are things that are much more meaningful. Have a relationship with God! That’s all what I can say.

CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations [The Imitation of Christ]

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured many trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.

You can also talk to your doctor of ways to decrease the libido. I’m on Paxil, which virtually eliminates my libido. We really are hyper sexualized.

My friend, God loves you so much. That is the first thing you need to know and encounter. Experience his love frequently through the sacraments and especially in prayer. Ask God show you what he expects of you insofar as your spiritual life is concerned, and stick to it!! Rather than focusing on what not to do, you should focus on what you need to do. Leave no room for compromise, and discipline yourself.
Second, practice small acts of mortification throughout the day. I don’t mean mortification in regards to hitting yourself, or inflicting physical pain upon yourself. I mean little sacrifices throughout the day: skipping desert even though you want it, giving a passing smile to that person you don’t like, doing more chores than are asked of you, spending a little extra time to study for classes, etc.

God loves you!! Now go open your heart and encounter him.

Cure the boredom. Find something productive to do on Fridays, especially something not involving the computer. If possible, do something that involves serving others rather than entertaining yourself. Ask your pastor if he knows of any way you can volunteer to help at the parish, or call a homeless shelter or a Goodwill or some other charity and offer to help them in whatever way you can. Turning out of yourself to see and serve the Lord in others is a powerful means of fighting this vice, which is rooted in selfishness.

It sounds like you are suffering some level of addiction to pornography. There is an “impurity addiction group” on these forums with some great advice to help people start walking the path to overcoming habitual sins such as those to pornography.

Take a look. There are several online resources as well. In my experience, what helped me the most (after struggling to overcome these sins for close to 15 years) was finding a group of men who had similar struggles including some who made it years without ever looking at pornography. Leaning on these men for understanding and help was essential. Without their support, I doubt I would have ever made it more than a month or two without looking at porn and masterbating.

Praying for you… PM me if you want to talk more.

God Bless!

All your doing is Confusing yourself… It’s all Mrs Palmer’s Fault…
Not You,Not Satan…no one but that Mrs Palmer…

Pray with me that God will make us the men of good faith we were meant to be.

I would try again to use only resources that are trusted, being cautious even about words. And while a virus is the lesser of worries it can still be used as a deterrent.

What you can do to overcome this sin of effeminacy you must do by the grace of God.

Don’t despair, brother. I am also struggling with the same thing. Worse, it is even compounded with a same-sex attraction.

I know it can be discouraging, seeing myself commit the same mistakes again even though I could remember myself bitterly repenting the last time I did it. Ignore and fight this despair and discouragement because this comes from the devil. Get up and pray to God. Say to him “Lord, you have died for me. Please save me from my sins. Help me.” God will NEVER refuse his grace to a repentant sinner.

What I usually do when I fall is that I pray. I pray the Memorare to the Blessed Virgin Mary for the grace of perfect contrition, then pray the Act of Contrition. I say the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. Then, I go to Confession the soonest possible time. Having been reconciled, I seek God’s help in prayer to help me retrace my steps and help me learn from my mistake.

Just get up whenever you fall and cling to God with more love than before. Try to learn from your mistakes. Casting yourself on God, he will help you to finally overcome this habit. I’m still struggling, but I can see that I’m improving. Just keep up the fight. What is probably happening is that the habit of sin has weakened your will and has attached you so much to temptation. It is our weak nature that makes it hard for us. But against this natural weakness, God strengthens you with his omnipotent grace. It is the same power that divided the sea to allow the Israelites escape from their slavery from Egypt. Hope in this power and cling to it with all your will. With the same power, he will free you from your addiction. It may not happen overnight because it may take time to learn how to cooperate with his grace. But continue to trust in God. Before you know it, you would not believe how God has worked wonders in you.

I would also suggest reading “The Sinner’s Guide” by Venerable Louis of Granada. It will remind you why vices are detestable and why the practice of virtue is so much better. It will encourage you to work on your conversion and to trust in God. ewtn.com/library/SPIRIT/granada.htm

I’ll be praying for you. God bless!

I will pray for you. Also somthing they may help you is if you know. What I mean is anything you do online is online. Meaning if your doing web cams online you could end up on the internet which is somthing I am sure that you do not want. Instead of doing that on Friday nights go to the gym go see a movie try to set yourself up to hang out with someone.

I started experiencing a change when I enrolled at reclaimsexualhealth.org. They use teachings from theology of the body as well as scientific techniques to help you overcome this addiction. The heart and soul of the recovery process is something called “Face it, replace it, connect” which is very effective as it puts the decision-making part of your brain in control of the situation and allows you to adapt to a more healthy outlet. The problem with most of us is that we are stuck in the “avoidance cycle” where we just avoid the temptation until eventually it overcomes us again; the problem is that our brains have become wired to go for the pornography and masturbation so just avoiding it simply isn’t enough. Using the Brain Science of Change and FRC is very effective. On top of that, later in the program you are constantly reminded of what a healthy sexuality should look like, describing its full purpose within the context of marriage and how it is to be driven by love and not by carnal instincts. This image of sexuality helps to replace the old one in your mind that has polluted you for so long.

Whenever you need to or want to use the computer you can say this prayer before you turn it on:
A PRAYER FOR PURITY

Jesus, Lover of chastity, **
** Mary, Mother most pure, **
** and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, **
** to you I come at this hour, **
** begging you to plead with God for me. **
** I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, **
** word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.

** Obtain for me, then, **
** a deep sense of modesty **
** which will be reflected in my external conduct. **
** Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, **
** from anything that might dim the luster of a heart **
** that must mirror only Christlike purity.**

** And when the “Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me” **
** in my heart at Holy Communion, **
** seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.**

** Heart of Jesus, Fount of all purity, **
** have mercy on us. **

** Amen.**

Do not allow yourself to use the computer before you say a prayer. Ask for the intersession of your favourite saint(s). Ask God to bless your time on the computer and that all you do will be animated by His Love and be for His greater honour and glory.

This, of course, is a matter of self discipline. You have received great advice already.

I think it was on one of these related threads that I read this advice: always use your intellect. You have already stated your knowledge that shows that viewing pornography is actually against your own will. When you give in you are ignoring your will and giving in to the natural desires that if left uncontrolled can lead to hell.

I hope this helps.

God be with you,
Reg.

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