Feel like my life is falling apart...need prayers


#1

Hello CAF friends:

Please help. I'm so lost today. Everything in my life feels like it's falling apart. My mother is dying, I'm struggling with my eldest child and the choices she makes (stupid, dangerous and immoral ones) and my son's classmate committed suicide on Tuesday.

I've been to Adoration but I'm so distracted I can't concentrate long enough to pray. I just feel so hopeless right now. I really need your help.

I need to be there for my Mom. I am not giving her 100 percent of my attention, though. My body may be there; my head isn't. It's hard to fully give her the love and attention she needs in her last days with everything else that's happening.

This is terrible, but I'm ready to throw the towel in on my daughter. I love her so much. But, I am starting to wonder if I should just accept she's ultimately going to screw up her life no matter how hard I try. Nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. I want to be a good parent but I feel like a failure. I am, frankly, ashamed she's my child. No matter what I do, she always takes the wrong road. She's 15. What she's doing will catch up to her and I feel powerless to stop any of it.

My son's classmate's death has me devastated. He wasn't that different than my own child. I feel like it so easily could have been my son. I am grieving for the family, my son and all of the people affected by this tragedy.

So, anyway, please pray that I can find some answers, some hope in all of this. Thank you all and God bless.


#2

Hail Mary, Full of Grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of they womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

:gopray: :console:

I am praying for you!


#3

My prayers and those of my family will include you and your family. I will dedicate an extra rosary tonight to your situation.

God bless and hang in there. He never gives us a cross so heavy we can't bare it.


#4

[quote="Irish_Girl_68, post:1, topic:230395"]
Hello CAF friends:
Please help. I'm so lost today. Everything in my life feels like it's falling apart. My mother is dying, I'm struggling with my eldest child and the choices she makes (stupid, dangerous and immoral ones) and my son's classmate committed suicide on Tuesday.
...

[/quote]

Be strong :) I'll say a little prayer for you and your Mum. Try not to worry too much about your kids, you can only do so much. God bless.


#5

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.

Amen


#6

I will say The Chaplet of Unity for you and light a candle at Mass on 2/26/11. I will remember to keep you in my prayers-please try to find some time for solitude and let family members know how you are feeling as well!
Let them, and your friends know you need their help and prayers at this awful time!

Peace and Love,
Mary:highprayer:


#7

Dear IrishGirl,
You have a lot to deal with right now. I am saying a prayer for you.


#8

[quote="Irish_Girl_68, post:1, topic:230395"]
Hello CAF friends:

Please help. I'm so lost today. Everything in my life feels like it's falling apart. My mother is dying, I'm struggling with my eldest child and the choices she makes (stupid, dangerous and immoral ones) and my son's classmate committed suicide on Tuesday.

I've been to Adoration but I'm so distracted I can't concentrate long enough to pray. I just feel so hopeless right now. I really need your help.

I need to be there for my Mom. I am not giving her 100 percent of my attention, though. My body may be there; my head isn't. It's hard to fully give her the love and attention she needs in her last days with everything else that's happening.

This is terrible, but I'm ready to throw the towel in on my daughter. I love her so much. But, I am starting to wonder if I should just accept she's ultimately going to screw up her life no matter how hard I try. Nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. I want to be a good parent but I feel like a failure. I am, frankly, ashamed she's my child. No matter what I do, she always takes the wrong road. She's 15. What she's doing will catch up to her and I feel powerless to stop any of it.

My son's classmate's death has me devastated. He wasn't that different than my own child. I feel like it so easily could have been my son. I am grieving for the family, my son and all of the people affected by this tragedy.

So, anyway, please pray that I can find some answers, some hope in all of this. Thank you all and God bless.

[/quote]

Oh my gosh. What a huge burden you have right now! When I am in the throes of a crisis, sometimes I can only say one prayer, and that is "Jesus, help me." And then as I get a little peace, I can say the first part of the Serenity Prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." And then I might just say the Jesus prayer, "Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner."

But I have heard people even pray, "Jesus, 9-1-1!" Maybe that's a kind of irreverence, I'm not sure, so if that doesn't seem right, ignore it.

You are looking at 3 different HUGE losses - your mother (the first relationship any of us has on earth), your daughter and your hopes and dreams for her, and your son's classmate (which leads you to fear for your son).

Adoration is great. You don't even have to pray, just be in front of Jesus. Do you have other support in your life? Call as many friends as you can. Talk about things, it helps us women to talk about stuff with our friends. As far as your daughter, could she be acting out partly because of your mother's declining health and all the stress from that? Try to find something good she is doing and think of that more than her failures. You love her no matter what, please remember that, no matter what she does, you will always love her. She may end up being a prodigal but she may not. I was afraid I was really going to have to kick my son out of the house at 16. We put him in a behavioral camp last summer and it helped a lot. Try not to respond to her provocations. Again, support is critical. I hope your husband is supporting you in this time, but don't lean on him for everything. If you need some grief counseling, please get it.

My heart goes out to you. Sometimes life just plain hurts.


#9

[quote="AnneTeresa, post:7, topic:230395"]
Dear IrishGirl,
You have a lot to deal with right now. I am saying a prayer for you.

[/quote]

Me, too.


#10

i recommend that you pray for the holy souls to god and ask god to grant youthrough their prayers and intercessions whatever favours you need…

heres a link, please read it fully…the holy souls really do obtain miraculous favours lightning quick, i myself have had favours they have obtained

missionbell.homestead.com/Afavourgrantedbytheholysouls.html

i hope this helps you and god bless


#11

[quote="Irish_Girl_68, post:1, topic:230395"]
Hello CAF friends:

Please help. I'm so lost today. Everything in my life feels like it's falling apart. My mother is dying, I'm struggling with my eldest child and the choices she makes (stupid, dangerous and immoral ones) and my son's classmate committed suicide on Tuesday.

I've been to Adoration but I'm so distracted I can't concentrate long enough to pray. I just feel so hopeless right now. I really need your help.

I need to be there for my Mom. I am not giving her 100 percent of my attention, though. My body may be there; my head isn't. It's hard to fully give her the love and attention she needs in her last days with everything else that's happening.

This is terrible, but I'm ready to throw the towel in on my daughter. I love her so much. But, I am starting to wonder if I should just accept she's ultimately going to screw up her life no matter how hard I try. Nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. I want to be a good parent but I feel like a failure. I am, frankly, ashamed she's my child. No matter what I do, she always takes the wrong road. She's 15. What she's doing will catch up to her and I feel powerless to stop any of it.

My son's classmate's death has me devastated. He wasn't that different than my own child. I feel like it so easily could have been my son. I am grieving for the family, my son and all of the people affected by this tragedy.

So, anyway, please pray that I can find some answers, some hope in all of this. Thank you all and God bless.

[/quote]

Oh my goodness my heart goes out to you IrishGirl I am so very sorry you are dealing with so much at the moment.Firstly hugs for you xoxo and prayers of course.You are going through the most emotional stress you could possibly go through at the moment.Your mother your daughter and your son's classmate.You are indeed in my prayers
God bless you

Lord please hear our prayers for IrishGirl who is so upset for her dear mother who is dying and she is grieving for the tragic death of her son's classmate,and she is so worried for her daughter who is making the wrong choices in her life and causing her much anguish.Lord please grant her strength and comfort her guide her through this most difficult time in her life.May she know which steps to take regarding her daughter and may her daughters heart and mind be open to Your will.I ask You would prepare her mother that she will not be afraid or suffer pain.Please Lord help the grieving family of the young lad who committed suicide please be merciful and welcome him to You in eternal life.Lord in Your mercy please hear our prayers Amen

Our Blessed Lady please intercede for IrishGirl and for all her family and for the family who are grieving
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen


#12

Our Lady of Prompt Succor, hasten to help us.
Deus Providebit - God will provide.


#13

My heart goes out to you. You are under an incredible burden right now.
Give as much time to your mother right now as you can. It seems to me that since she is dying, that that is your primary focus.
However, make sure that you son is not too adversely affected by his classmate's suicide. Make time to talk to him and see how he is feeling. He may need some counseling to deal with this matter.
As far as your daughter goes - been there, done that. Show her unconditional love and give her lots of hugs even if she is acting up. Keep up the discipline, don't let go because of despair. Teenage girls are notorious for butting heads with boundaries. Keep them firm.
It is when everything falls apart that we need to really rely on our Lord. Pray a lot.
One thing I have learned is to pray for what I need RIGHT that moment: for instance, instead of praying that something terrible doesn't happen, instead pray for the anxiety you are experiencing at that moment.
Be good to yourself. Give yourself time everyday to process what you are going through. Get adequate rest and healthy nutrition. You will be able to better deal with these problems.
Above all, pray, pray, pray.
I will pray for you, as well.


#14

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:8, topic:230395"]
And then as I get a little peace, I can say the first part of the Serenity Prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

[/quote]

I also highly recommend this prayer - it may not work in exactly the same manner for you, but I find that it always helps me to put things into perspective and reassure me that I cannot change everyone around me.

My prayers are with you; I will pray for you during my evening prayers tonight. I hope your situation improves soon.


#15

Sorry to hear you are having to deal with so much right now. I will pray for your family and also your son's classmate's family as well.:hug1:


#16

I will pray for you, and it's on my heart to suggest this - if you think it'll work.

If there's any way you can get your daughter to sit down with you and just talk about the relationship between mothers and daughters. Tell her that for just a few moments you will both set aside your issues and just focus on the fact that you are her mother and she is your daughter.

Then lovingly remind her that you are the daughter of your mother - and that that is her grandmother - and that though she may not understand what it's like to be your age and with an elderly dying parent, some day she will - and that you're not saying that to put a guilt trip on her but rather to help her open her mind to a wider perspective on life.

Ask her for her patience during this time that you need to dedicate to your mother. Encourage her, too, to visit her grandmother and have what relationship she can while there is still time. Listen and tell her you understand, too, if sickness and death are frightening or depressing and she wants to avoid thinking about them. If she says it's just too much to go see her grandmother, suggest a card or letter or something that you could carry to your mother.

Suggest to her, as you wrap up this heart-to-heart, that family may often seem like an annoyance but that it can also be the "soft place to fall" that we all need. Tell her that you hope and pray she'll respect herself and you and God, and make right choices, because you love her. Declare a cease-fire on any bickering. Offer her a chance to make a fresh start.

Hope some of this helps; tailor it to your situation . . . God Bless You!


#17

Lord please hear our prayers for IrishGirl who is so upset for her dear mother who is dying and she is grieving for the tragic death of her son's classmate,and she is so worried for her daughter who is making the wrong choices in her life and causing her much anguish.Lord please grant her strength and comfort her guide her through this most difficult time in her life.May she know which steps to take regarding her daughter and may her daughters heart and mind be open to Your will.I ask You would prepare her mother that she will not be afraid or suffer pain.Please Lord help the grieving family of the young lad who committed suicide please be merciful and welcome him to You in eternal life.Lord in Your mercy please hear our prayers Amen

Our Blessed Lady please intercede for IrishGirl and for all her family and for the family who are grieving
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen


#18

Oh, my gosh, until I read the part about the suicide, I thought maybe one of my old posts had resurfaced. I don't really have much to say since my own pain is still so fresh, but know that you are in my prayers. Continue to go to adoration. Just sitting in the presence of Jesus is so calming for me, even if I don't "pray" per se. Sometimes I just sit there and cry. Jesus knows your heart. He knows the words you can't say. Keep praying for your daughter. No one is ever beyond redemption.

On the positive side, I do believe that my mom is now in heaven interceding for my daughter. I pray for my mom's soul, but I also ask her for help. I joked with my brother that I think mom is up there smacking my daughter upside the head. But honestly, my daughter has turned a corner and has come back to us.

Be strong. You are doing the best you can. Feel free to PM me if you want.

Arlene


#19

I don't know if you are familiar with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Here is a link.

ewtn.com/devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm

Jesus makes some very powerful and wonderful promises to those who say the Chaplet. Jesus say that whenever someone says the Chaplet in the presence of someone who is dying, he will stand between his Father and the dying, not as the just judge, but as the Merciful savior.

If you mom's health allows her to, have her say the Chaplet along with you. Maybe you and your son could say the Chaplet together for his classmate.


#20

Lord please hear our prayers for IrishGirl who is so upset for her dear mother who is dying and she is grieving for the tragic death of her son's classmate,and she is so worried for her daughter who is making the wrong choices in her life and causing her much anguish.Lord please grant her strength and comfort her guide her through this most difficult time in her life.May she know which steps to take regarding her daughter and may her daughters heart and mind be open to Your will.I ask You would prepare her mother that she will not be afraid or suffer pain.Please Lord help the grieving family of the young lad who committed suicide please be merciful and welcome him to You in eternal life.Lord in Your mercy please hear our prayers Amen

Our Blessed Lady please intercede for IrishGirl and for all her family and for the family who are grieving
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen


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