As some of you know, I just recently acknowledged something that happened to me almost two years ago, after hiding it from everyone, including myself. For most of my adolescence, I bottled up and buried a lot of emotions, which are now coming to the surface. I finally told my parents, who’ve told me that they’re proud of me, and my best friend who said the same thing. I’m going to talk to somebody (a counselor of some sort) soon and I take comfort in the fact that God is there, but I’m just feeling a little down. Not depressed, it doesn’t weigh on me anymore, but just a little blue. One of my guy friends (also one of the first people I told) has been very good to me, he took me out for tea before I went to work and he’s always giving me hugs and asking how I’m doing. My girl friends have been great as well, doing the same thing.
I don’t know, I guess I’m so used to smiling and being happy (even when I wasn’t, I used to put on a happy face for the world), that now that I’m finally acknowledging stuff, I feel a little blue. I’m also dealing with a lot of stuff, some of it somewhat traumatic, that complicates things a little more. I feel peaceful now, just a little sad.