I feel at rock bottom, I thank God every day for the wonderful things in my life: the people who love me and see me through but I am struggling to stay strong and positive and every day is getting harder. I feel paralysed with fear about my future and I want a job so desperately. I see my peers succeed and move forward with their careers and I have to work so hard to not feel envious. I have faced so much rejection the past year. I have prayed to ask God what my path is as I feel that maybe all this rejection is a sign I am doing something wrong but I can’t imagine another career path, my heart is so set on this but maybe it is not right for me.
Please pray that I can offer up my despair to God, that I find my faith deepens and grows through this struggling. I do not want to be depressed and ungrateful with life, I want to stay hopeful and be patient. I do not want to keep feeling that awful sensation of jealousy when I hear of other people’s successes. I don’t want to keep judging myself and feeling embarrassed at my shortcomings. I feel so alone. I am questioning my abilities and talents and feel so lost. I just want to feel a sign that I am on the right path.
Please God continue to strengthen me, keep guiding me. Help me not to lose sight of you and your plan for me. Help me feel your love.
ps sorry everyone that was so long!