I am not sure how common this is, or if it is even okay to feel like this. Let me get straight to the point. . . I feel much closer to Jesus, than I do to God the Father, and I am beginning to worry over this. I pray a lot. I pray the LOTH daily, at least one rosary daily, I visit an Adoration chapel every evening, and I also engage some meditative prayer before bed, and when I wake up in the night (sometimes this goes on for hours). I realize for the most part, though, that it is Jesus whom I am thinking of, even when I pray the Our Father. God the Father seems almost unfathomable to my mind. Like trying to commune with a huge cloud of all powerful glowing gas. Almost alien. I am almost ashamed to admit this, but it’s true. When I read the Psalms many of them depress me. What can I do to understand God better, or at least get closer. Is it even necessary, or is that one of the reasons he gave us Jesus? To bring us closer to him through something we can identify with in outward physical appearence? Sorry if this sounds strange, but it has been bugging me.
It seems pretty clear that God gave us Jesus, who was both human and divine, so we would understand better and relate better to God. I’m sure God seemed not only inaccessible to many of the Jewish people prior to Jesus’ arrival, but also downright scary given that the Jewish people thought seeing God, or even his angelic messenger, usually meant you would die.
It’s fine if you prefer one person of God to the others, as long as you don’t deny that the other persons exist or are God or are part of the Trinity. I know quite a few people who had a dysfunctional relationship with their father growing up, or who never had a loving father because he ran out on the family when they were 4 or something. They simply can’t relate to God the Father. Some of them will imagine God the Father as a mother figure instead, but that can draw flak from other Catholics. A lot of them will just turn to Jesus - he’s like your brother, friend, life coach, etc - or the Holy Spirit more.
Having said that, if you really want to get closer to God the Father, view Him through his interactions with Jesus. Jesus talks about his Father a lot. God the Father speaks twice in the NT, once at Jesus’ Baptism and once at Jesus’ Transfiguration.
Artists also anthropomorphized God throughout history as a powerful looking older man. Maybe you can think of that image instead of the “huge cloud of all powerful glowing gas.” If God made man, including Jesus, in his own image, then God’s image looks like a person, so it’s perfectly reasonable to picture him as a fatherly-looking man. Whether you choose the image of God from the Sistine Chapel ceiling, or picture him more like George Burns in the “Oh, God” movies, there’s no reason not to think of him looking like a man rather than a cloud of gas.
Thank you for your very thoughtful reply. Since you mentioned it, I admit I did not have the greatest relationship with my father. It was based more on fear rather than love and respect. It certainly could be a factor in my feelings toward God as a father figure. . . the feeling distant from him part. I never really thought about this before.
I will keep trying to build on to my relationship with Jesus for the time being, and hopefully it will branch out to bringing me closer to the Father. As long as I’m not doing anything intrinsically wrong, I am certainly in a better place spiritually, than I was six months ago. I think I am wanting to go faster than my stumbling feet can carry me, and I get discouraged easily. I want to be in this for the long haul. Thanks for your wisdom.
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