Hello all, I’m new here so please forgive any stupid mistakes I may have made.
I think I’m feeling called to the priesthood. I’m sixteen, nearly seventeen. However, I have a massive problem. I believe that I’m homosexual. I’ve never been actively involved with the gay lifestyle/gay agenda in any way, shape or form. I fully uphold the church’s teaching on homosexuality and the sanctity of marriage. I had come to accept the fact that’ll I’ll have to remain celibate my entire life, although I struggled with it initially. I’ve always for as long as I can remember wanted to be a priest. Everybody I know thinks I should too. I go to mass daily, attend confessions weekly and pray the rosary every day. I used to watch pornography, but by the grace of God I’ve been able to give it up and I pray everyday that I’ll never return. However, I was looking through these forums to see whether it’s okay for ‘homosexual’ men to become priests. I don’t even know if I am homosexual or not. I would say with 80% certainty I am, but I’m still unsure. I think it’s very upsetting the negative attitude many catholics have towards many of those with SSA. It’s in the news recently about how the Catholic Church should apologise to homosexuals. I agree to an extent. I don’t want to condemn or judge anyone, but even with my own family (they don’t know I’m gay) have referred to individuals with SSA as ‘disgusting’, and other demeaning adjectives. I fully appreciate everybody has their cross to carry but often they get support in doing so. Many chaste and celibate homosexuals are discriminated against on the ground of their sexuality and are viewed by catholics as firstly homosexual, instead of catholic and children of God. I think the church needs to be more accepting and sympathetic towards the unique struggle of individuals with SSA and this is why the Pope says we must apologise. I disagree that we should apologise for not conforming to the gay agenda and gay marriage but our treatment of gay individuals hasn’t always been as equals in the sense of treating them with the same dignity as human beings made in the image and likeness of God.
So I’m feeling a little down about the realisation that I shouldn’t become a priest. It feels like everything I feel called to, or all that feels natural in me is regarded as disordered and wrong. I feel torn. I know I’ll never live the gay lifestyle but I would never want to defile the priesthood with my disorderedness. I wish somebody could give me even a glimmer of hope about the future. I have no kids to look forward to, no family and I feel that my church doesn’t accept me. I’m an only child so I can’t imagine how lonely I’ll become. I ask for your prayers, and would love a response from somebody in a similar situation. I apologise for the lengthy post, but I really hope and pray that God guides the right person to read and respond.
God Bless you all.