Feeling empty because I'm not living my vocation?


Honestly that's how I feel right now. This isn't about being alone. I've been alone pretty much all my life and I'm used to that but when you honestly feel that you've been given a vocation but can't live that vacation it's sort of leaves you dry. :shrug: So what's the solution? Any ideas? :shrug:


[quote="Sierrah, post:1, topic:210410"]
Honestly that's how I feel right now. This isn't about being alone. I've been alone pretty much all my life and I'm used to that but when you honestly feel that you've been given a vocation but can't live that vacation it's sort of leaves you dry. :shrug: So what's the solution? Any ideas? :shrug:


When we do God's will, and live the vocation He intends for us, we may not have a lot of interior consolation. But, we should have a lot of interior joy and peace. Now, don't confuse this with "good feeling." There's a difference. When we live our lives and KNOW we are doing our best to live according to God's will, there is a joy and peace which cannot be described in our soul. When we don't, then we feel empty inside.

Doing God's will when we especially don't "feel" like it is our gift to God. Doing God's will when we "feel" like it is God's gift to us. A teaching moment, if you will.

Spend more time in prayer, especially contemplative prayer (listening, rather than speaking!). Go to Confession frequently (Pope John Paul II & Mother Theresa of Calcutta went weekly). Do a daily examination of conscience. Attend daily Mass if your state in life allows. Consecrate yourself to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

And here's the kicker, the secret to earthly happiness (aside from the other things): Always come as a servant. Actually, the word used in the Bible has been loosely translated into "servant" but really means "slave." We are here to serve God first, others second, and ourselves last. If we remember that, then we are rarely disappointed or sad, etc. Go find someone else to serve. The poor, the hungry, the infirm, the elderly. Your life will be far richer for it! :)


I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.


Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus.


God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.


These are quotes from Mother Theresa. She also recognized, though, and said on many occasions that loneliness is among the greatest of all forms of poverty. If you are suffering loneliness or frustration because you cannot do what you feel you are called to do for God, offer that to God. Let that empty spot be a spot into which you invite God, too.

If you give your life over to that, if you let even your empty spots be a place to love the Lord, you will not have failed to live your vocation.


I think you would like to be married. If I’m wrong, please ignore what I’m about to write…

I’d like to encourage you to keep trying-- joining Catholic singles sites, go to singles activities all over your diocese, etc. I was a shy person-- if I hadn’t forced myself "out there, " I don’t think I would be married today. Never give up-- someone is out there for you!


This hits the nail on the head, for me anyway.:thumbsup:

I echo the frustration of the OP, and am so glad it was asked. I’ve thought to start a thread to ask people: DO I DO MY DUTY OR MY PASSION?

To only say that we should only serve the poor (which is a huge joy and primary ministry for some) OR only focus on our desires—they both seem unbalanced (unless you ARE called and equipped to do that.) But not all are.

I guess if someone had the call to be a truck driver, to allow God to “take over” while in that, allow God to enter that place. Then it does become a service to Him and can bless others in ways that only God knows.

This is such an important issue for all of us. I’ve seen people’s countenance totally change as they speak about their passion, whatever it is. I’m not doing mine, and I am sad and lonely a lot…and I have a husband and 3 kids! I know that I know I have a creative spirit and have neglected it to a certain extent. Maybe it’s timing/seasons in life.

I guess if we can start where we are, knowing that God does not take back our gifts, that He will guide us into the path for us…no matter what it is or when it is! God needs His people in all areas to reach out in love to all, in all kinds of ways.:slight_smile:


I’ll be glad to give you a solution…once I find one for myself…

Mary Beth Bonacci wrote an article that touched on this subject:


Please read it and see if it makes sense to you.


When our twins were little, this was one of my favorite Psalms, especially the parts I put in boldface:

Psalm 126
*When the Lord delivered Zion from bondage,
it seemed like a dream.
Then was our mouth filled with laughter,
on our lips there were songs.

The heathens themselves said: “What marvels
the Lord worked for them!”
What marvels the Lord worked for us!
Indeed we were glad.

Deliver us, O Lord, from our bondage
as streams in dry land.
Those who are sowing in tears
will sing when they reap.

They go out, they go out, full of tears,
carrying seed for the sowing:
they come back, they come back, full of song,
carrying their sheaves

I also had this on my big bathroom mirror, in about 48 pt. type (so I’d see it when I was breezing through):

If the LORD were not my help,
I would long have been silent in the grave.
When I say, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, LORD, holds me up.
When cares increase within me,
your comfort gives me joy.

Psalm 94:17-19

Actually, I’d say that the Psalms are a good place to hang out generally, when times are hard, and particularly when they are slogging hard. Maybe that is why the days of the Benedictines revolve around them. I live to think of our home as my bit of cloister. So there is this one, too:

"Stay in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything."

In contrast, another of the Fathers, Abba Isaiah said, “A beginner who goes from one monastery to another is like an animal who jumps this way and that, for fear of the halter.”

But yes, I find I have to put some creativity into my life, or I get heartsick. If you are a hound, you can do without hunting for a time, but you still have to get out and run once in awhile. Also, if you are still looking for your cell, your heart is going to be a bit restless until you find it. You can offer the restlessness to the Lord, and be patient, but you’ll feel it until you find the place you belong. I don’t think that discomfort is a spiritual fault. It is what keeps the journey going, it keeps you going through what you have to learn on the way, until you reach the place God means you to go. Otherwise, we might get complacent and quit before we get there.


I think I understand what you are saying. I remember times in recent years when after wonderful, happy times with my most amazing group of devout Catholic friends, I still felt empty afterward, and I realized that it was my permanent vocation for which I was longing. Now, Saturday I am entering the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in Ann Arbor, MI, and I have never felt such peace and joy as I have felt since making this decision. Just keep seeking God’s will in your life… prayer, the sacraments, a good spiritual director, with openness to wherever He will lead you and trust that He will show you His will and will help you to fulfill it. One of the turning points in my discernment was when I realized that God does truly want me to find His will for my life, and as long as I am faithful to my prayer life and truly seeking His will, He will not let me be lead astray from my vocation.


God's Will is the reality that is presented to us every day, in every moment. Acceptance of that can be difficult. I really feel a call to be married. I wanted to have as many children as I possibly could. Now I'm 38, unmarried and have no children and with some recent medical news, had to acknowledge the painful fact that the door to fertility is shut to me.

Every day I try to see God's invitation in the moment - I can choose to decline and sulk (which I have) or I can accept and say 'Your Will, not mine, Lord' (a challenge for me most days).

A fantastic book that I found helpful was The Jesuit's Guide to (Almost) Everything by Father James Martin. It really helped me see that God is a part of my life every day and only wants the best for me.


Maybe you're not living your vocation and are miserable because you're living what you think will lead you to your vocation and not listening to God.


Thanks everyone for your comments. I've never really known what my vocation was....for sure. That's part of the problem. I'm hampered by numerous financial commitments at this point and can't pursue a better education to do what would make me happiest. I'm not really smart enough to make it through the education and training anyway. I wish I were but I've tried taking classes and I can't sum up the focus due in part to working several jobs and having ADHD. As to marriage I've always believed I was called to that too but a lot more such as service of some type. Or basically to serve others but not in the religious life and adoption too as well so I guess you could say I feel called to several things none of which is in my grasp at the moment.


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