Feeling Guilty


Hello, everybody.

 I recently placed my child for adoption because I felt like I couldn't provide a good environment for him.  He was born Aug. 

7th and adopted three days later by a fantastic couple of my choosing. Still, I’m 33 years old, so I feel a lot of pressure from society in general (or maybe just in my own head) that I should have my stuff together better by now so that I wouldn’t have to do this to myself and my family. I’m also ashamed of how the child was conceived (adultery). I’ve gone to confession, but still feel guilty for the trouble I’ve put everybody through. Please pray that I feel some relief or maybe assurance that in fact, when it’s all said and done, perhaps it was actually God’s will that all this happen this way - as messed up as it is.

Thanks y’all,



Big hugs for you Tracy. :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:

First, thank you for giving your child life! Giving him up to a loving couple is a wonderful gift for which I’m sure they will always be grateful!

Second, don’t feel guilty. You’ve been to confession, and assuming you confessed all your sins, they are forgiven. Jesus has forgotten them, and while I know it’s hard, you need to put them behind you too.

Third, perhaps this can be a turning point for you. Obviously you regret some of your actions that brought you to this point. Take a good look at who you are (a child of God) and do your best to act accordingly in the future. Ask Him to help you avoid temptation, and stay close to Him in the sacraments.

I will pray for you right now. God bless you! :crossrc:


Jesus please help Tracy to deal with all the emotional consequences of the baby’s conception, birth, and adoption.She has sought reconciliation for whatever was needful, and has tried to provide for the baby according to his best interests. Bless her for allowing this baby to continue to live and for finding a good home for him. Please take good care of this child always Jesus.

What’s done is done; therefore Jesus, help her to move on. Help her to live life as You now hope.

God bless you and help you to flourish in faith and faithfulness


Hey Tracey:

At 48, let me tell ya’ , no one ever has their act together! Know that our God is a forgiving God. I am living proof of that having done a lot of stupid, spiteful stuff in my day!

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with Thee
Blessed are you amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for our sinners
Now and at the hour of our death


Praying hard for you, that you may fully experience God’s comfort and love, that he would give you his peace and that you would know that as far as the East is from the west, so far has he removed your sins.


You can rest assured that you are blessed and loved by God. You are his vessel and you worked with Him to bring new life into the world. You are an answer to our prayers here at CAF. We pray that God may grant courage to more women like you to give birth and grant the responsibility to seek the child’s best interest, even if it means giving him or her up for adoption to a loving couple. May God bless you!

With that said, please do not feel ashamed at how the child was conceived. My wife was conceived and born out of wedlock. Her mother raised her as a single parent. She is now a devout Catholic and the mother of our beautiful daughter (with one on the way). The Catholic Church never looks at such a child (your child or my wife) as a mistake or the product of sin. Your child is a sign of God’s great and abiding love for you and the world. Yes, sex outside of marriage is a sin, but God turns the sin on its head by creating another soul that can worship Him and better mankind. He finds the good in every bad. Redemption through the cross came from the very sinful act of crucifying an innocent man.

Finally, take courage in your feeling of guilt. It shows that you love God. Use it to come closer to Him by avoiding sin. This may be of some help too: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=263029

God’s plan is never “messed up” but it can be complicated and …mysterious. All praise and glory to Him.

Thank you for your post. I will keep you in my intentions when I pray the Rosary with my Men’s Group tonight.



You will be in my prayers for your healing and peace.***

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen


I’d like to thank everyone for their prayers and kind words of encouragement. I will get through this somehow. I keep reminding myself of the words God spoke in the Old
Testament - I think it went along with the First Commandment. He said, “I am a jealous God.” When I was in CCD, I didn’t understand what it meant, but now I understand it to mean that God wants us for Himself and Himself only, and He will do whatever He can to keep us close to Him until we die, even if it means we have to suffer hardship. Dependence on God has always been a problem of mine, so maybe remembering this will help. I would imagine that dependence would naturally follow “jealousy,” right? At any rate, everyone here has been so kind, and I thank you.



Tracy -

As a father of two adopted children I must say, “God bless you!”

I wholeheartedly agree with everything Belle10 said, and please let me remind you that “God gave His son to the world” just as you have. So you’re in pretty good company!

Heavenly Father, please ease the pain and burden in this wonderful woman’s heart. She has given life a chance through the birth of her son and the world is grateful for her loving heart. So I ask in the name of Your son Jesus that You comfort her with the warmth of Your eternal light. Amen.


Praying for you. Trust in God. He love you. :slight_smile:

God bless,


i have had it happen often that i feel guilty and horrible abuot things i did/said… or mostly, just about myself generally… but after spending time wtih Jesus at the Blessed Sacrament (or praying the rosary)… I’ve been able to see that my guilt comes from a desire to please people… or get along with them or whatever… In other words, i did not feel the guilt when i was with Jesus… (alone.)
Jesus is reality. I don’t trust so called reality that is outside of Him…


I have not noticed exactly how I felt when in Adoration because I haven’t done it enough, but your post makes me want to try it again. I never thought of Jesus as “reality” and possibility that our reality isn’t real without Him as you say. It’s something I now feel compelled to consider. Thanks bunches.



thanks for telling me thanks. :slight_smile:

yeah, it is kind of weird how things almost always look totally different when i at the Real Presence than when i am not. A lot of what i go through there is mysterious so can’t put it into words. But some things i get from Jesus there are very clear - if i just sit there and be quiet and listen. As the scirpture says: “Be still and know that I am God.” :slight_smile:


Try not to feel guilty. You gave a wonderful and most generous gift to your child as well as to his adoptive family.

How many people keep a child when they should not and things turn out so badly. It is good you recognized this about yourself and did the right thing.

You have a chance to change your life for the better. I urge you to take the advice of others and spend some time in adoration. God will help you if you let him.

God bless you and your child. As the grandmother of a child who was given in adoption I can somewhat understand how you feel. Turn the negative into good and move on - you will be okay.

My prayers are with you, your child and his new family!


Praying for you, dear one! :slight_smile:

~~ the phoenix


I didn’t think McCain would lose :eek: :frowning: :crying: but now that he has, i feel more strongly than ever that all of us pro-life people should work VERY hard at stopping abortion any way we can (lowering the numbers of abortions, if nothing else).

Your story is a great testimony against abortion

. Your story reminds us that No woman has to kill her child in order to avoid raising a child (in less than perfect circumstances… and EVERYONE, no matter how “perfect” his/her life seems, has adverse circumstances of one kind of another when raising children…Life in this sinful world is* always* less than ideal for raising children…).:frowning:

Anyway…*** i hope you get a chance to tell your story ***to whomever will listen - (and even those who won’t… or act like they won’t or wahtever).

If you are not afraid of speaking in front of crowds (i kind of am :hypno: ) maybe you could give a talk at your Church??? Priests don’t talk about abortion anymore, it seems… or how to avoid it. It would be good to hear that kind of story from a woman !

God bless… :slight_smile:


Given the circumstances you did the right thing. :slight_smile: God has forgiven you through Confession, excessive guilt (no matter the reason why) after that comes from the Devil. Thank you most of all for bringing another life into the world!

Praying that you find peace.


My daughter was in your shoes just about 3 yrs ago. She placed her son in an open adoption. She chose the parents. You gave this child LIFE and now you have given him “A LIFE” with a couple you chose. Please know that the Holy Spirit was by your side the entire time!

I was amazed at some of her friends who told her to live on welfare and the government will give her free money…while others told her to get an abortion.

Adoption…was the loving choice you and my daughter made. I agree with the other poster. Tell your story…it will help other women who have gone through what you have.

I often get asked, “How could you give your grandchild away”. My answer…I didn’t give away anything. There is a couple out there who prayed night and day for a child. Their prayers were answered…that brings me joy, not sorrow.

My daughter did what was best for the child, just as you have done.

If our Lord has forgiven you…who are we to say otherwise?

Peace be with you!


Praying for you Tracy.


Praying for you. And God bless you for the gift of life you gave your child. And the gift of a child that you gave to a couple. :hug1:

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