Feel free to move this if it’s not in the appropriate section! Sometimes things seem like they could fit in more than one category. Also, I am sorry this is so long. There is just a lot that needs to be explained.
I’ve mentioned in a few threads about how I am a Catholic who has returned after an absence of about a decade. I have gone back to confession, begun praying mostly regularly, and now attend mass regularly. Please, please, please understand that I am not fabricating any details here. I know it could easily sound like I’m just making this all up.
As I’ve gotten closer to my faith, I’ve had a few upsetting, and a few uplifting, experiences. While I was working on my BS Mathematics, I had a couple weeks where I started to feel tired, cold, easily irritable, etc. One day I got into an argument with a friend and stormed back to my dorm room. I was so angry I started punching my door (made of metal), until I felt a pop in my hand. After collapsing onto my bed I asked God for help because I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Suddenly I felt a warmth throughout my body. I had energy again. However, at the same time I heard a laugh that I can only describe as wicked. I checked with the people in the adjacent dorms and nobody else heard anything.
I got married right out of college, and while my wife and I were married sacramentally in the Church, I still wasn’t living out my faith as much as I should have been. I woke up one evening and looked over at my wife. Something didn’t feel right, and for some reason it looked darker than usual in the direction of my wife. I decided to say a prayer asking for some help and as soon as I had finished and said, “Amen,” a door across the hall slammed shut. It was already closed, and it was the only night it’s ever happened. My wife woke up terrified because of the noise and had me search the house, which I was not comfortable doing since I knew what had transpired just prior to the slamming door!
Another night, I was laying in bed and knew my wife was washing up in the restroom. I opened my eyes and saw she had moved to the bedroom, and was standing at the end of the bed. It was dark, so it almost looked like a shadow. After a few moments I started to feel very uneasy and called out to my wife. She didn’t respond so I called out again, and again. Finally she answered, but she was still in the restroom. As a sinking feeling came over me the figure rushed at me. I panicked, heart racing, and my wife came in wondering what was wrong.
That continued for three more nights - only instead I woke up in the middle of the night, and realized my wife was asleep beside me instead of being in the restroom. The figure was at the end of the bed, then beside the bed right next to me, and then finally kneeling down on the bed, on all fours, just staring at me. I was visiting at my parents and saw they had a crucifix that wasn’t up on a wall. They said they had just gotten it, but didn’t really need it, and asked if I would like to take it home with me. Since I didn’t have any religious items at that time, I took it and put it up in my bedroom. The apparitions stopped coming after that.
After volunteering for my parish youth camp, I got home and was staying at my sister’s house. It was the first night home, and I woke up in the middle of the night with what appeared to be sleep paralysis. It was the only night it’s ever happened to me. I was laying on my stomach and felt as though I was being pressed into the bed. I was able to call out to my wife, although it was labored (explainable via sleep paralysis or the less pleasant alternative). After a few moments I was able to move again (once again explainable by either explanation). I woke my wife up in a panic, needless to say!
A few months ago, I finally made the decision to really come back to the Church. I have since become increasingly exhausted, both mentally and physically. I have been to the hospital to try to sort out my symptoms, and I appear to be completely fine. I have considered pursuing the matter from a spiritual perspective, but I still have doubts about whether or not there really is a just a medical/psychological explanation. After all, we are to have both faith and reason, and I can’t rule out the possibility that there’s some disorder or syndrome, just as I can’t rule out the possibility of a spiritual explanation.
Tonight, I was out with my roommate. We had gone over to a friend of his, and a card game came up - Cards Against Humanity, I think. It’s sort of like Apples to Apples, for those familiar, except with a wide array of cards (unfortunately including some vulgar ones). Strangely, as the only Catholic at the table out of several people, I drew the card “God.” Then I drew “The Blood of Christ.” (Really couldn’t believe that was a card in the game!) And lastly, I drew “Demonic Possession.” Given the sheer number of cards, and the number of people playing, I figured the odds to be somewhere around 0.1% to 0.3% that I should have drawn all three of those cards. (Studying to get my MS in Mathematics now, so I’m fairly confident the odds are pretty close).
It could all be coincidence - my symptoms and experiences could perhaps a medical explanation that just hasn’t been found yet. After tonight’s coincidence I’m pretty upset, needless to say. I don’t know if I’m going nuts or if there really could be something going on here. I would love to hear your thoughts on this - and also would greatly appreciate your prayers that I get this all sorted out - regardless of the cause.