First, may I suggest that you spell out all your words. Some of find it difficult to follow what people are saying when they use texting shortcuts in their posts. Thanks.
Second, to address your questions, there is a right way, and a right time that we are to use in helping to correct others if they stray. That way and time are not always evident and are not always the same.
Drinking to get drunk is not *necessarily *a mortal sin. But that is a different question.
In general, if you don’t approach the other person at a time and with a manner in which they are receptive, your words will fall on deaf ears or will backfire and the person may get angry or reject in total what you are saying.
Finding the best way to communicate with others is an art, especially when the subject matter is likely to seem judgmental to them. One thing to try is to ask a lot of questions.
For example, when your friend said it’s like one is secluding themself from the world, that most of the world gets drunk, you could ask, “So do you mean that if most of the world gets drunk then that makes it OK?” or “So are you saying that if a person does not want to go along with the things that the world sees as OK, that we should go along with all those things too?”
These are reflexive questions…you sort of restate what they are saying in the form of a question in order to get them to explain their position. Many times when people hear their own words rephrased they’ll realize that what they said isn’t really what they meant: “No, it’s not that, what I meant is…”. Then it makes it easier not to sound judgmental when they come to their own conclusions.
Like I said, such conversation is an art. It takes time, patience, and practice. Nobody wants to sound like they are interrogating their conversation partner.