Hey, everyone! Lately, I’ve just been feeling so upset and envious, and I don’t know what to do. I try to pray, but it doesn’t seem to help that much. I went through a breakup two months ago, and I’m still struggling with feelings of sadness and worthlessness. I’m not as devastated as I was back then, but I still miss my ex boyfriend. So very much. This entire experience has reinforced a deep fear I’ve always had of ending up alone. I know that I’m called to marriage, and I want that kind of deep, romantic love more than anything. The funny thing is, I’m only 20, so I shouldn’t even be feeling this way. I know I’m young, and I have plenty of time to find the right guy, so why am I so upset all the time?
I don’t want to feel sad and envious, but I do, and I can’t stand it. I see happily married couples with children, as well as other people my age in loving relationships, and I just want to cry. They have what I so desperately want: the love of a good man and children. I see all of my pregnant relatives, and I’m nearly in tears while trying to keep a happy face on. I guess I just want to know how to feel okay again. I know my time will come, but I’m so impatient. I have a lot of hard, albeit fulfilling, work ahead of me (going into my junior year of college and trying to get into medical school) and I have a wonderful family and awesome friends, but it just feels like something is missing. I have a lot of love to give, but I don’t have a great guy to give it to. Sorry for rambling on and on, but I’m just in a really tough place right now, emotionally. I guess some prayers and kind words would help. Again, I get that I’m really young. I know you all must think I’m being irrational and making a mountain out of a molehill. What’s wrong with me?