I have been attending Mass for the past three to four months, but do not really feel at all accepted within the two churches that I have so far been to.
I try my best. I used to attend Mass every day and twice on Sunday simply because I felt immensely drawn to the Church. Now I have not been back for a week…
The reason is that on each occasion I even try and speak to one of the priests, they seem uninterested or are busy.
Last week for example, I went up during the eucharist for a blessing crossing my hands across my chest. After the Mass, I quickly went up to the priest to thank him for giving me the blessing and he said “Look I’m in a hurry what do you want” I said “Just thank you for the blessing” he evidently did not hear me so “blessed me again” on the forehead and hurried off.
It left me feeling pretty bad and disillusioned to be honest with you. I just feel no sense of connection with these churches although I do with the faith. The priests have no time - they do not want to engage even for five minutes and it is an exercise in futility trying to make an appointment to see someone in the church. I was told to contact one of the priests when I returned from Lourdes, I did and was simply fobbed off really.
I have so far been to two churches and it has more or less been the same and I really do not want to do the rounds trying to find somewhere that is more amenable. There is no guidance - nothing and searches for answers are met with rebuffs.
Every week, I just sit in Mass trying to figure out what to do, which prayers to say. I buy books to try and learn about the faith and have started a correspondence course. I am due to start the RCIA course in November and I am just feeling so isolated really and as if they do not want to know or are uninterested in people new to the faith. All I have been told to do is “Attend Mass every week”. But I simply go home not understanding what has happened or having questions that I have to try and answer myself.