Feeling isolated as a person who wants to convert to Catholicism

I have been attending Mass for the past three to four months, but do not really feel at all accepted within the two churches that I have so far been to.
I try my best. I used to attend Mass every day and twice on Sunday simply because I felt immensely drawn to the Church. Now I have not been back for a week…
The reason is that on each occasion I even try and speak to one of the priests, they seem uninterested or are busy.
Last week for example, I went up during the eucharist for a blessing crossing my hands across my chest. After the Mass, I quickly went up to the priest to thank him for giving me the blessing and he said “Look I’m in a hurry what do you want” I said “Just thank you for the blessing” he evidently did not hear me so “blessed me again” on the forehead and hurried off.

It left me feeling pretty bad and disillusioned to be honest with you. I just feel no sense of connection with these churches although I do with the faith. The priests have no time - they do not want to engage even for five minutes and it is an exercise in futility trying to make an appointment to see someone in the church. I was told to contact one of the priests when I returned from Lourdes, I did and was simply fobbed off really.
I have so far been to two churches and it has more or less been the same and I really do not want to do the rounds trying to find somewhere that is more amenable. There is no guidance - nothing and searches for answers are met with rebuffs.

Every week, I just sit in Mass trying to figure out what to do, which prayers to say. I buy books to try and learn about the faith and have started a correspondence course. I am due to start the RCIA course in November and I am just feeling so isolated really and as if they do not want to know or are uninterested in people new to the faith. All I have been told to do is “Attend Mass every week”. But I simply go home not understanding what has happened or having questions that I have to try and answer myself. :confused:

I am so sorry that you have been treated this way by a priest who was in a hurry. I know many priests who would not have done that, but would have welcomed you and any questions you had.

Perhaps you will go through RCIA and it will be a different experience for you. It is a time of discernment for you, and no one will be “pushing” you to be a Catholic. It is there that a community spirit is fostered, and friendships are made.

At Mass, the Catholic congregation is accustomed to being mostly silent, or should be. They are sitting or kneeling in the presence of the Lord and preparing themselves spiritually for the Mass. There should not be any private conversations going on.

So, it must seem “cold” to you in this atmosphere. Again, I am so sorry that this happened to you. Be assured that Our Lord welcomes you with open arms, and that soon you will experience community.

Stay the course. Take the RCIA classes. Keep going to Mass every Sunday and as often as you can during the week.

The Church is great. You are already 100% accepted by the most important person there.

Her people however can vary from place to place and week to week. We are all just people after all.

There is no excuse for rudeness but consider the reason for your being there. It would be much better if everyone were more friendly. But you are there for the sacrament. You are there to hear the scriptures and the teachings. You are there to be with Christ and He already welcomes you.

Even if this rude behavior persists, keep greeting people. Keep thanking the Priest after each service. Who knows how many lives you may change for the better?

You didn’t say if you recieved the Eucharist?Did you?You aren’t Catholic?

I know that people do not speak in Mass and understand that and do not expect that but they even ignore me after Mass. I made one friend and that turned out to be a nightmare. I went one day to help clean the church grounds and made friends with a person who was also interested in human rights. A friend I thought, He then proceeded to text and phone me that evening insisting that I go to his place to stay the night and said I “could have his bed whilst he took the floor” - the conversation got worst and I had to terminate the call, but really… it has not been what I expected…

I believe I explained very quickly what I did when I said “I went up during the eucharist for a blessing crossing my hands across my chest” -

This is the kind of thing I am faced with constant rudeness… people who only see or read what they want to… !

I have to think about this now. Being around rude people does not make me feel better, not when I have so many other things going on in my life - like an ill sister.

Please don’t give up. You shouldn’t have been spoken to rudely, but let it go. You don’t know what the priest had to do next - it might have been something he was dreading, like baptising a hopelessly ill baby in hospital. My mother wasn’t one for giving advice, but one bit of it I’ll always be grateful for. It was to remember that when you meet a person and they seem a bit off or short-tempered with you, you don’t know what’s just happened in their lives, or what they are going on to after you. Half the time, any reaction isn’t to you as such - it might just be a last straw plus camel’s back situation. Let it go.

I’m a (long ago) convert too, and in the UK. PM me if you’d like to talk.

I understand what you have said but he is always curt when I try to speak to him. It was not just the one occasion… and the other priest is always busy… anyway thank you for your response. I have time to explore other denominations, so I might do that.

Take your time. There is always time to learn new things. Bless:o

It sounds as if you already know that the faith, itself, is what counts and that people of any religious orientation may or may or may not let you down. I came back to the CC during the beginning of the scandals, after having learned that people are not to be our focus anyway, rather it’s God alone who saves. Having said that, we should still expect a higher standard to be adhered to by religious as well as lay members for that matter and I think we’re moving in that direction. So keep trying-God rewards persistence and the faith it requires.

I’m sorry with your experience. You better hear mother angelica talks, she talks about priests abandoning the sheep, she will console you. She’s very witty.


You can download her talks using atube catcher

There is no salvation outside of the catholic church, Jesus must have given you great graces to call you to his church. It isn’t used to be this way.

The mass used to be in traditional rite, with latin gregorian chants, very solemn, quiet, brings you to contemplation and the real presence of Jesus in the eucharist. It was changed by Pope Paul VI to be a new mass in vernacular (mother tongue) language

Watch Tridentine Mass on Youtube

Try to attend tridentine (traditional mass) in your area. There is this traditional mass in edinburgh, uk, it is videotaped in youtube

Change the church you go to, not all priests are bad, some are good. Choose the good ones. Be careful when choosing priests. Choose the good ones who lead a good life, so you would not be scandalized.

You have to forgive the priest who treat you rudely, when you wanted to say thank you. It is obviously a good gesture of you, to want to say thank you for the blessing (I’ve never done that, maybe we should say thank you to priests more often, they’ve done much for us)

Just get baptized… and then you can be the only catholic who is following Jesus, and the only catholic who go to heaven. You are obviously scandalized by the priest, and when you get to the catholic church, you will be scandalized by the members of the church. The priest and the members of the church are sure not going to heaven if they acted like that, if they do not convert and stay that way till they die. They, most importantly the priest, are responsible for your soul. By that rudeness, the priest will pay for that, if he does not convert. He should be meek like Jesus. See… not many people follow Jesus.

In fact, there is this little article by St. Leonard Port Maurice that 3 out of 60000 catholics are saved.

Be that three, carry the cross of Jesus. Be like Jesus. Jesus suffer much during his lifetime

I would suggest you to read the diary of St. Faustina - Divine Mercy in my Soul. Jesus talked personally to this Sister, and frequently

It is available online and for free
You will be astounded

Also, Our Lady of Fatima, where Mother Mary appeared to 3 children of fatima, talking about conversion, penance. That the world is full of sins and needs to convert.


It is a book with photos.

Learn catholicism by yourself, don’t rely on the priests. They are humans just like us. And sinners too.

You did by saying thank you, it was an act of love. Please don’t be discouraged. Jesus loves you

I have webpages if you want to learn more about catholicism

I pray for you:gopray2:

About the isolation, a life with christ is not a life of comfort. It’s a life of (voluntary and involuntary) suffering, but full of Joy, happiness, and peace. We need to become christ crucified.

That crucifixion is also from the members of the church. Christ obviously suffer seeing the members of the church abandon him, and we suffer with him. If you suffer, it is a good sign, a good sign that you suffer with christ, and he is molding you to be like him.

:slight_smile: Don’t be discouraged. Jesus loves you. Hear mother angelica, and after listening to her, tell me if you think differently about the catholic church. She is a to be saint

I to, suffer because of the condition of the church, because of the priests and the members of the church because they abandon Jesus and not live in love as Jesus has commanded. The condition after the traditional mass is changed to new mass by Pope Paul VI in 1962 is tragic. Europe became 20% atheists. They used to be 80% catholics.

Love the tradition of the church.

This will give you a glimpse of a good traditional church, it is in the US

Sacred and Beautiful Documentary

They use traditional catholic music, sacred and beautiful

Oh, and study the catechism by yourself. The priests aren’t gonna teach you that.


Here is some good free saints books and catechisms books to learn about the faith

There is no salvation outside of the catholic church, it is from the Fourth Lateran Council,
You can read it here

May the merciful Jesus bless you

:console: I’ve experienced some of the same type of stuff that you have. Stick with it - Jesus is worth it!!:yup:

Gosh Joseph thank you for your response. Will send you a message now.:hug3:

Maria thank you very much for all of the information you have given me - I shall take the time to look through it .

  1. Surely not ALL the priests and members of the church?

  2. Are you saying that Pope Paul VI brought about a tragic situation in the church? Don’t you believe that the Church is guided by the Holy Spirit?

  3. It was not a ‘new mass’. It was a Novus Ordo - new order or form of Mass. now properly called Ordinary Form.

  4. Europe now 20% atheist, used to be 80% Catholic? I’m not sure I follow the arithmetic there, to be honest.

You’re very welcome. Sorry if I was not meek enough. Sometimes I’m just :mad: with the condition of the church, after the liturgical change, from traditional to new. I love the church though, she’s my mother.

Be a traditional catholic, but obedient and faithful to the church.

FSSP (Priestly Fraternity of Saint Peter) is a great congregation that keeps the tradition of the church while being faithful and obedient to her.

I googled traditional mass in the uk, I’ve read somewhere they even have schedules.


May the merciful Jesus bless you:)

Paperweight, there were wicked popes.

Check out the biography of Pope Alexander VI

he commited murders, and bought the position of the pope with bribe and usury

And Pope Julius II, he had a child outside of marriage when he was a cardinal.

Popes are humans too. That is why we have priests sex scandals.

I checked that statistics from wikipedia, just read about a country (Spain) for example, and read on the section of religion. And it will give you the statistics. Check out other european country such as Italy, Portugal, Germany (Germany used to be 90% catholic). It will give you statistics on atheism as well, which is pretty huge, in terms of millions. They used to be catholics!

It’s terrible and horrifying.

But be careful, it can dampen your faith. It should be read with discretion and a contrite heart. FYI

You may want to consider going to another Catholic church. There are good and bad people in all religions, and this should never be a deciding factor for us in regards to which religion we adopt for ourselves. Catholicism is the One True Way; the Church that Jesus Christ the Son of God Himself created. Not all priests are good men, but, as another poster commented, we need to hold back judgment as there could be a number of reasons as to why he’s being less than kind to you. It doesn’t excuse him for being rude, but it’s also not a reason to consider other Christian denominations. Either go to the Mass and refrain from talking to him, or find another Catholic church with friendlier folks. That’s my two cents.

Please don’t walk away from the Church:( You might get a different reception elsewhere, but those places don’t lead to heaven:nope: It’s not worth it to stray.

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