I know what its like to struggle with emotional things like that. God loves you! He does not see you the same way as your family or others. I think you’ve been hurt and its hard to see God as being different because of experience with other people. But He is different. Try to trust Him on that. That can bring you to a beautiful relationship with Him because it would help you to see how different His love is from human love.
Jesus said this to a Catholic mystic named Gabrielle Bossis. Her book has an imprimatur:
April 26, 1945 - ‘Lord, Your poor little girl, Your poor image is here before you, yearning for You with all the strength of her being.’
“Have you noticed how people talk among themselves, discussing all their personal affairs? They spend so much time this way and it does them so little good. Don’t you think that if they gave themselves to Me, their Friend, I should rejoice to have My place in their thoughts and I should know how to reward their confidence in abundance? Don’t you think that it would create a moment-to-moment intimacy between them and Me, and this would be a joy for them, because close to Me their lives would lose their tension.
You understand? It would be life together with Me- I carrying the heavy end of things. So again I say: speak with Me, My little ones. Speak with Me. And our hearts will Merge. Isn’t this the aim of My Christians? Isn’t that why you want to die? Then begin living this heart-oneness. Seize upon every opportunity. Find every pretext. You aren’t bold enough. For some of you it is because you are indifferent.
But My close friends, why, why don’t they call to Me from their heart’s depths? If only their belief were less like unbelief! If their hope were fixed upon My help … And if, in all simplicity, their love loved Me more. I should be there looking after everything in their day, and when night fell, their eyes would close again on My face.”
“…be calm in your soul, and happily docile to My will. As you look back over your life, don’t you see that My will was always for your good? This is because I love you, and it’s the same for everyone, since I love each of you individually. I see you all differently; I see every detail about you, do you understand? My love is not of global love.
I need each one of you as though you were the only person in the world, as though the cosmos had been created for you alone, and My love is greater than the cosmos. So let this thought be a strength to you and your smiling calm.”
" I have found joy in all the little presents given to Me by My children. Even, if they have not cost you very much, even if you gave them to Me only because My Father put them into your hand by some circumstance other than your own free choice, you offered them to Me like good and affectionate children. And so I treasure them as though they were a part of you. Such is your power over Me! You bind Me to you by a single hair of your head. And the more you believe how utterly disarmed I am by your love, the more My unfathomable tenderness overflows to you. The great wrong is to lack faith in it. Then offer Me everything –every gesture, every thought."
This is from the book “He and I”. mysticsofthechurch.com/2009/11/gabrielle-bossis-he-and-i.html?m=1
God loves you! You are not a burden to Jesus. if only we could see the tenderness in His eyes as He looks at each soul!