Feeling Jealous and Sad - My Ego is Hurt


#1

Thank you so much for praying for me everyone. I have tremendously wonderful news. I have been accepted into dental school! :slight_smile:

I got my acceptance letter just a few days ago in the email and in the mail - I feel so blessed.

Before I began applying into dental school, I thought that my grades/scores were too low - and that no school would accept me, but as the months passed by, I began to receive all these interview invitations (7 schools invited me to interview) - Never in my life would I imagine that many schools wanted to interview me. wow!

Then, I finally got one acceptance out of all the schools that I interviewed at - only one school accepted me (I’m still waiting for a response from the other schools).

And at first, I was so relieved and SO THANKFUL. I have heard about students who got rejected from every dental school they applied to - and had to re-apply three years - before even one school accepted them. I was scared to death that I would end up like them. I was scared to death that no school would accept me - my grades/scores were very low/average. I was so relieved that I finally got one dental school acceptance.

However, in the following days after my acceptance from that school, I began to do research on that school, and found out that the school has an extremely bad reputation - people on the internet constantly gossip about that school - saying awful, insulting this about that school. The school is only two years old, and so many people on the internet gossip about the school.

My grades were bad, and my test scores were mediocre. I thought that no school would accept me. I use to think that even if ONE school in the entire country would accept me - then I would be happy. However, after finding out that my school has such a bad reputation - it makes me feel so sad. As of right now, currently, this is the only dental school that has accepted me - and it is not known to be “prestigious.”

On top of that - some of my other pre-dental friends have gotten accepted into more prestigious, well-known schools, and I do feel happy for them, but deep down - I feel jealous - a little bit -

I feel so selfish for complaining - there are some students out there who have not had any interviews so far - and there are some students out there who have had to be rejected three years in a row (I personally met a student at one of my interviews who was rejected from dental school - three years in a row)

I remember praying to God - asking Him to help me to get accepted - and that I would be happy to be accepted to any school - but now that I am actually accepted to dental school - I feel jealous of other students who got accepted to better dental schools than I did.

I feel so selfish for complaining and for feeling jealous - and I never thought that I would care what other people think about me - but a part of me does feel a little jealous. I never thought that I would care about what other people say about my school/education - but deep down, I do …

I never thought that I would care about the “prestige” or the “name” of the dental school - and I thought that I just wanted to get accepted… but now that I am accepted, I feel sad and disappointed that I didn’t get accepted into a more prestigious dental school.

My pride/ego is hurt - and… I’m jealous

I guess, I am hoping that maybe you could please give me advice.

When I first got accepted into this school, I was so excited and thankful - but just a few days later- these feelings of excitement and thankfulness faded - and now I desperately want to get back my excitement and thankfulness. My pride is hurt.

Do you think that I can ask God to fill me with thankfulness? Do you think … if I prayed about, God can somehow change my feelings? Do you think that God can help me to get over my pride?

I want so much to stop feeling sad. This is my last year in college - before I begin dental school in the fall - I want so much to feel fresh and alive again. My pride is hurt - and I want to fix it.

Please help me. If there is anyone out there who can please say something to uplift me and to encourage me… please help me.


#2

Congratulations on getting a place in dental school! I understand what you are saying about the prestige of your school, but if it’s new, then it takes time to build a reputation. People who post bad things about somewhere on the internet are often agenda-driven and of course, those who are quite happy with their education there won’t post anything at all! So, you get a bit of a skewed picture.

Your prayers were answered and as you say, you thought your grades weren’t good enough to get a place anywhere on such a competitive course - and yet you have a place “in the bag”, whilst other applicants get constantly rejected. You may be offered other places even now, as you are still waiting for replies from the other schools. However, if you are honest with yourself, you must know you are unlikely to get offered a place at a top school for dentistry with grades which aren’t top grades. Sadly, that’s a fact.

I think it’s up to you now to work hard at dental school and make the best of all the opportunities open to you. If you are really worried about what you’ve read, why not see if you can talk to someone at the school about it all? Rest assured, they will know what’s being said about them online and they may have already made changes, if any are necessary.

At the end of this you will be a qualified dentist, and when you are working, patients won’t be worried about where you went to school - they will only care about your level of skill and the way you interact with them.

We all feel this way from time to time - we want something, we pray, God helps us and we get what we’ve prayed for - and then we raise the bar! However, I’m sure you won’t feel like this after you’ve started your course and you’ll just be too busy learning new things.

The very best of luck to you!


#3

Congratulations on being accepted to dental school when so many aren’t! :):thumbsup::bounce::yup::clapping:

Well, here’s a website that had some advice as to how to overcome envy.

psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/05/12/8-ways-to-overcome-jealousy-and-envy/

I have a disability, and I try not to be envious of people. However, what I am envious of is more with people’s relationships. I envy the relationships they have with their families, that they have a spouse, significant other, people who seem to really care about them, that are “on the same wavelength” as them.

I envy people who have people to spend the holidays with, people to talk to and do things with.

Over my life, I’ve gotten a lot of rejection, some, even from my own family. If I were accepted to dental school at all, I think I’d be content with that! You probably have friends.

You must also be really smart!

:wink:


#4

Any new school will take time to earn its reputation. God answered your prayer with a gift that many would appreciate, now how can you share your gift with others?

Of course, become a highly sought after Dentist, though while at this school, how about embracing your role as one of the earlier pioneers of the success of this school with a caring, positive and supportive attitude toward the school and fellow colleagues?

Perhaps when you look back at your experience in say twenty years from now, the school having earned a significant boost in reputation, you may enjoy reminiscing over fond memories on how you and your school colleagues contributed to the future success of all school graduates in your own unique pioneering ways.

Be the positive change you seek in your life, to God be ALL the Glory. :thumbsup:

Blessings and peace. :slight_smile:


#5

Wonderful words of wisdom from the above posters.
Congratulations, Mary.


#6

Unfortunately in life our efforts dictate our outcome. Most schools require placement testing and unfortunately bad grades result in possible elimination. Just like in credit scoring or any others reputation system like a job.
If a person is proven to have a bad track record the likelyhood of them receiving acceptance is unlikely.

This is reality…most of us have to prove ourselves via training, experience, etc. and if we fail to provide that standard than unfortunately there is concern that we will FAIL in post scenarios. There is a safety net that makes sense in this categorical system.

Say for example I have poor test scores and allocated grades. If say I am accepted into a university for my education the most likely outcome is the same and I would end up failing or having to repeat if at all classes and the cost would increase for my tuition and the possible future would look grim to obtain a degree or certification. This safety net is to cover both you and the schools as the most beneficial productive formulae.

I am not trying to be critical as much as I am attempting to tell you like it is in a truthful manner. As for pride; I can’t really say you have any when you told us you have low grade…most people that score low do not openly admit this due to the humility.

As for the school having a bad rep; this should be extremely important to any consideration. You do NOT want to give good money to any institution that has extremely poor reviews. I attended a school with mediocre reviews and found out that it was poorly maintained and immensely overcrowded, the classes were subpar as well. I remember having to wait ten minutes sometimes just to find parking!! TEN MINUTES MIN!!

Todays educational system in the US is sorely lacking with astronomical fees and overall I know that what you can learn in a classroom can be self-taught at home through a system I call the appropriated practice measure…you train yourself by real world applications and home research, practice and study. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on books through a college and waste money tied to a chair in a boxed in room with other student s if you apply yourself. This includes dental, medical, technical, etc. as long as you have access to the tools/equipment required school isn’t necessary.

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


#7

First I would like to say don’t despair, have faith.

Second I would verify that this school is accredited and recognized by the state medical board and any other necessary national organizations in order for you to practice medicine.

Third, scores are of secondary importance especially if there was a maturity issue that will resolve itself.

Fourth, I would refrain from depending on your self esteem or pride to feel good about yourself, when in fact the reality is they are not compatible to feeling really loved. The real solution is knowing Jesus Christ and deriving importance and love from Him, there is nothing that compares to this, everything else is only an imitation.


#8

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.