I know the feeling, been there…
Listen, after all that’s been said, if you want to find peace, you must admit something about yourself, regardless of what others say or think about you. All this gets to you because it stirs up the questions you have about your own vocation perhaps and your ability to say Yes and to be faithful to your Yes, to Marriage or Religious Life or Consecrated Single Life, some form or consecrated life.
This is a blessing and a kiss of grace. God is prompting and prodding you externally and internally I think, until you check it out. With or without what you think about yourself, what you think people think about you, you must respond to the Divine Will and decide one way or another. Do not be afraid. We become Priests or Nuns or lead some form of celibate life, not because we can not, or are not able to get married, or even never seriously considered Marriage, but because we choose not to in order to respond to be faithful to a calling that is in us, but not from us.
As soon as you consider what they say and weigh it in the balance of discernment with a Spiritual Director, you will find peace. Why? Because you will not be relying on yourself, you will be submitting yourself to God’s Will and Authority. In an act of humility and abandonment only, do we find peace, the truth about ourselves, why we were made and what our purpose is, and finally, the truth sets us free to serve God the way He wants us to. Don’t fret and fume and pout and have tantrums for nothing. A light upon a hill can not be hidden, the lamp must shine in the darkness, and be set on the lamp stand for all to see. People can see your little light is all, all the rest is incidental and secondary.
There is something worth pursuing is what they are saying and I would concur to their observations, wouldn’t you? It all depends on how it is said, I know. What do you expect, from an awkward world that does not feel at home anymore with sacrifice and the Cross? They are saying that they believe in you, which is most important. They are judging you worthy of a higher calling, a special mission, of being set aside for a special purpose. Consider it a goofy vote of confidence, but it’s there. I believe in you too. Just be yourself and seek guidance, with or without anyone noticing that God has chosen you for something very spiritual and you will calm down.
Really and truly, you are afraid of what God might be asking of you. Peoples’ words only act like acupuncture on an agitated area of your spirit, a restlessness in your heart, a question you yourself have, and that fills you with a holy fear…check it out, it’s time, you are ripe is what the God you serve is telling you perhaps. You will still feel this way from time to time within your Vocation, as I do, and we all do who go all the way in serving God-one mission or assignment after another until this becomes a way of life. Look at the life of the Saints and the Apostles.
Consider their words a reference letter for an interview with your Lord who loves you to bits and is dying to console you and give you the peace, serenity and balance, and child-like trust and joy you thirst for. People will never bother you again like flies in your face, because you will have faced yourself in Spirit and Truth which is the only work you really have: your continuous conversion, preparation for your particular judgement before God.