Without going into a lot of detail which seems rather pointless anyway. These days it just seems like God has abandoned me. I’ve always tried to be a good Catholic. I’m far from perfect but I don’t think anyone is. :o I’ve always tried to do the best I can but it seems the harder I try and solve my problems the bigger they get. In otherwords different problems along the same lines keep getting worse so I can never get caught up with the smaller ones. The more I pray about it with no answer the more ignored I feel. I’m almost to the point of giving up on religion and the whole business. All the people living their lives in a careless manor seem to be doing ok and seem to be a lot happier then me. I’m not looking for a miracle just a break once in awhile. :shrug:
God always answers, just sometimes His answer is not the one we want. Then people say, “God didn’t answer me… He doesn’t care.” You know that’s not true. Prayer is not a quid-pro-quo with God. He is not obligated to do anything because you pray to Him. I forget where exactly in Scripture this is, but during the Devil’s temptation of Jesus, He says, “You shall not put God to the test.” By saying you will give up on religion if you don’t get what you want, you are testing God. You are telling Him, “Do what I want and I’ll believe in you.”
Last year, I had two miscarriages in six months. The first was during a time when DH and I failed greatly and were using artificial means of birth control. We could feel the damage it was doing to our marriage, yet we still couldn’t get past our fear. After a fairly Earth-shaking spiritual experience, we stopped. And then I lost another baby! I had stopped doing what I knew I shouldn’t, and yet still this awful thing happened again! I could have told God I was done with Him at that point. My sorrow and anger were great. But, what I asked God was, “Okay… what are you trying to teach me with this?”
You are going to need your faith many times in your life. Don’t throw it away because God is not obeying YOU. That’s not how it works! I was away from the Church for a long time. I have so much more peace now that I live my faith (imperfectly though I do it) that I swore I would not let myself lose that ever again. It’s worth fighting for.
You don’t go into much detail about what is dragging you down. Maybe you need to ask God if you are going in the direction He wants you to. Also, take a good look at a crucifix and tell me that guy is hanging there because He doesn’t care. He had better things to do, I’m sure.
I do agree with what dukyjewel posted. Our faith should not be based on what we can get out of God. Our faith should be that we know no matter what hardships or misfortunes come our way that God is there for us, and that we know that in the end no lasting harm can come to us when we put our faith in him.
A couple of Sundays ago the Gospel reading was from Luke 17: 11 - 19. It was about how Jesus cured 10 lepers, yet only one returned to thank him. I think sometimes we lose perspective and forget just how many things we have to thank God for. Then we are like those other 9. Wouldn’t you rather be the one who actually realizes all that God has done for you so that you can give him thanks? Maybe you could spend some time in adoration, where you can turn over your needs to him and spend the time to reflect on all that you have to be greatful for.
Don’t forget either how powerful praying the rosary is. Who do you think is testing your faith, making you despair, and tempting you to abandon your faith in God? Praying the rosary is your best defense.
Many saints have suffered and went through times of not “feeling” God (I’ve seen it discussed on here – it’s called the “dark night of the soul” but I’m not very familliar with it in detail, maybe someone else can chime in on this). Just because you don’t feel God doesn’t mean you’re being ignored. Remember and cling to this:
"…and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:20
In the Diary of St. Faustina, Jesus told St. Faustina over and over “do not be afraid, I am with you.” Sometimes it’s hard to remember, but it’s true.
Don’t give up on Jesus! He’ll NEVER give up on you! Remember this:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11
“Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.” ~Hebrews 10:36
Sure, they might seem happier, but without Jesus in their life, they probably aren’t. Jesus calls us to unite our suffering with His – and though we aren’t promised an easy road, we are promised a wonderful destination if we walk with Him! There’s a poster on these forums (sorry, I don’t remember who) who has a signature tag that reads somthing like:
I would rather suffer with Jesus in this life than suffer without Him in the next.
Keep praying, ask others to pray for you, go to confession, receive Holy Communion, and pray the chaplet of Divine Mercy. Don’t give up – private message me if you want. :hug1:
I could have written this post hundreds of times over the past year. Although our struggles are different, our thoughts are the same.
I spent a lot of time wondering why people who seemed so immoral to me were having lives that appear so easy and carefree while I cried every day about my situation and worked so hard to be faithful to God. The more time I spent thinking about other people the more abandoned I felt! The more abandoned I felt, the less I wanted to pray for help through the dark times.
Someone said something to me that put me back on a positive path. She said, “God must love you so much to give you such a big cross to bear.” You know what, she was right. I had lessons to learn to help me be a better person, and to develop qualities that were not as strong as they should have been. Of course, I’m still changing and learning just like everyone else, but I truly think that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for the difficult times. I almost pity those people who have still had mostly sunshine in their lives because they cannot possibly know what it is like to sit through the clouds of despair and to really appreciate each ray of light.
When you think about the lives of the Saints, or other heroes you might have, what is one of the common themes in their lives? Sadness, doubt, and finally a resounding strength and courage to do the right thing. Saints and other heroes never are people who got everything they wanted and led an easy non-descript life, right?
God must love you a whole lot to be giving you this cross to bear. Satan wants to see you drop the cross and run away from it, but God knows you will carry it proudly and be a witness to His goodness. I wish you well and will keep you in my prayers.
We all go through these stages. I’ try to keep in mind a verse from Psalm 37:
Though you may stumble you will never fall
For he holds you by your hand."
In our frustration We may abandon God But he never abandons us
Hi Ann, I’m Belle. What you said is so beautiful and encouraging - thank you for sharing it! Perhaps your suffering was in a small way so that you’d have those words to say to someone in need. (I’m going to share it with some people in my family who need to hear it.) Sending up a prayer for you too. :hug1:
I didn’t go into detail because I’m not trying to start a pity party or anything. I’ve struggled with ADD and drepression nearly all my life and while those are big issues they really don’t play out here. I’ve had some ongoing unrelated issues for the last several years debt, rejection, family illness among a number of things. I guess what I’m trying to say it’s just not one thing it’s a series of things as a whole and together it’s just gets to be way too much. I don’t have the time or the funds to seek couciling. I’ve tried talking to a priest…and have gone to a councilor before…didn’t help much. My problems also just seem to get bigger with no foreseeable resolution.
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” ~Psalm 27:14
“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” ~James 4:8
God is bigger than your problems. Don’t give up. Try to go to adoration if you can – I’ll remember you in my chaplet of Divine Mercy today.
Many years ago I used to keep a list of wrongs in my life that I was going discuss with God when I met him. As years went by I would find myself crossing things off the list as a reason they occurred become apparent to me. In fact I finally came to realize that every single so-called tragedy in my life turned out to be a blessing in the end. God has put these things in your life for a reason. Just grin and bear it and think about how great it’s going be when God reveals to you why.
Trust in gods love, you cant see or hear him because your frustration is stopping you from focusing properly,just sit quietly and you will feel his love surrounding you. i will pray for you:hug1:
I know where you’re coming from. For me, I was going nowhere in my spiritual life until I went to a special shrine and discovered Eucharistic Adoration.
It sounds silly and simplistic, but just sitting there in His presence, praying your rosary or reading or just sitting and thinking and pouring out your heart into the eternal silence is incredibly comforting. At least, that’s how it was for me.
Before that time, I had a vague sense of religion and spirituality as being abstract, but the EA experience and a few others that I’ve had, have turned it into a very tangible, concrete reality for me.
Adoration, in the right setting, is a really really powerful experience. If you haven’t tried it recently, give it a shot. Be open to the subtle comfort you’ll get from it, just pour out your concerns, and if you approach it with real humility and love, you’ll have something happen to you that will be wonderful, maybe inside your heart, maybe in your life, but Jesus won’t ignore you if you make the special effort to visit and spend an hour with Him.
That’s the challenge - to live for eternity, not for today. —KCT
I Think Everyone Gets Thier Turn At This. I Swear I Had A Ten Year Run Of It. My Husband Got Cancer, Then My Brother Who Was 2 Years Younger Than I Died Of A Brain Tumor. Then I Lost A Baby. Then My Husbands Dad Died.
Now Its Back To The Kids Driving Me Crazy. If Its Not One It The Other.
I Got To The Point When Something Didnt Happen I Couldnt Function.
I Was Just Waiting For The Bottom To Fall Out Because I Knew It Would/
But Guess What Thats When I Truely Found God.
I Didnt Know It Then. Now I Learned To Really Give It Up To Him And Let Him Handle It For Me.
When I Get The Down Days I Say Satan Get Away From Me. Jesus Take Over.
And When You Really Believe This And Trust Me It Takes Time. You Can Handle Anything. Because You Really Know Its Out Of Our Conrol Anyway. God Is Going To Make It His Way.
I Still Go To Saint Jude (for The Hopeless) Because Thats How You Can Feel And He Will Help You. He Will Go To God And Help I Swear He Will.
And Always Go The The Blessed Mother My Dad Told Me One Day Go To The Blessed Mother.
No One In The World Suffered Like The Blessed Mother She Knows. She Saw Her Son Hung On The Cross.
So Know When I Get Down I Think Of Her And Think Well Ok Blessed Mother I Guess You Did Have It Worse. And You Never Gave Up On God. Go To Her She Loves You.
I feel like this every day. No joking. I am 29 years old. I have felt like this for as long as I can remember. I suffer from depression. I struggle to pray. I see the world as everyone having one grand party. I feel alone, abandoned. I want to throw in the towel most days. I want to be normal-I want not to care about stuff so darn much.
I think they call this the dark night of the soul-*night? *longest night I ever spent!
It gave me great comfort to know that Mother Teresa suffered like this for years and years and years. To look at her you would not think of the years she felt abandoned by God. Most days she just obeyed without feeling she had “backup” so to speak. Such faith!
Sometimes we are called to have faith without seeing any results in this world.We have to trust that we do not bear our crosses alone.
I suffer from chronic depression and I’ve had similar feelings and experiences, but I’m not you, so I don’t know the intensity of your suffering, but if ever you need to PM me I’d be glad to listen.
As part of my journey through breaking out of depression is the information, then the realization of this information, that there can be three different answers to prayer-- “No,” “Yes,” and “Not Yet.”
Sometimes I’ve also written each and every problem on a slip of paper and put it into a container I called the “God Box” as a way of concretely showing myself that I’m truly turning over problems I have no control over, to God.
Some other sayings that help me are “if I think God has abandoned me, who moved?” And also the idea that “who am I to give directions to God? do I think I know better?”
For me, these sayings are very comforting, but if they’re not helpful to you just ignore this post.
However, just look at the Cross and you will see the depth of God’s love for you. That is not the picture of someone who would ever abandon you.
Will keep you in my prayers.
I’m so glad you posted this. You sound like my husband somewhat. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt just like you. Shoot… even lately but my husband is really suffering and is growing in resentment and anger. He’s had numerous priests not return his phone calls, he tries so hard to be a good Christian and yet we suffer immensly finncially as well as other things. We haven’t been to Mass in weeks:( I’m going to ask him to read this post. Hopefully it will help him too. There are some wonderful responses on here
I can relate to what you are saying, but maybe because I work in IT my approach is to try to analyze the situation and see what is exactly going on. Is it really God Who is abandoning me, or is it my fellow Catholics/Christians? Perhaps it is a result of something I did or failed to do? I usually check for those points first before I put the blame on God, and trust me, it really puts the brakes on blaming God and helps me keep my sanity.
Of course, when it comes to sickness and death, these are an unavoidable part of life.
When I feel as you do, I start to take inventory. Have I been to confession lately? Have I been attending Mass as an active participant? Have I spent time in Adoration or made visits to Jesus outside of attending Mass? Do I spend time in daily prayer? Do I make sacrifices for others? Do I pray for others? Do I fast/abstain on Fridays, and then offer that up for others/my intentions? Do I take time to “weed my garden” (work on bad habits and habitual sins)? Maybe I haven’t committed grave mortal sin, but little venial sins all added up can lead to a very, very sick soul. Do I attend daily Mass (maybe even 1 or 2 times per month)?
When one is deep in habitual sin, not allowing God’s Grace into his/her life through the Sacraments, not allowing his/her self time in prayer with God, the soul becomes sicker and sicker. When the soul is weak, then the devil finds a welcome home to roost. Sadness and despair are the devil’s best tools. Don’t give him a chance. Begin by going to Confession on a regular basis, and set aside time for individual prayer and meditation. Stop asking God FOR things. Ask Him what you can do to get more in line with His Will in your life.
Now, I think I will take my own advice! I’ve noticed I’m starting down that same slippery slope of despair. I am going to Confession today! I will keep you in prayer.