Just had to add to the bunches of depressed threads on this subject.
My little sis is feeling sad. She feels a strong calling to motherhood and the marrital vocation, but there just don’t seem to be any nice guys even worth knowing let alone dating.
We both belonged to a homeschool group, but none of the guys were prepared for a courtship or eventual marriage. (Nice, but pretty immature).
She has lots of offers to date, but the guys are all non-Catholic or have various lifestyles that aren’t safe or good. And the worst part is they are willing to raise up to her level (such as swearing off drinking, partying and sex) but not as a true lifestyle change leading to marriage, rather the indefinite dating game, just to have a partner. :rolleyes:
I just feel sad for her and wish I could do something! She is very uninterested in avemaria or catholicsingles. Prayers for her, please!
I have a rather long, interesting story but will spare all of you it. I will tell you that I was looking for the most Catholic women I could find for marriage. I went to a source that was truely Catholic and endorsed by some very prominent Catholics such as Fr. Benedict Groeschel, Scott and Kim Hahn and others. I had to pay $100 up front before I could even see all the women on the site. This fee was a one time fee so it wasn’t like I had to keep paying. I then filled out a rather lengthy questionaire about myself. It asked questions like rather or not I believed in birth control, pre-marital sex, abortion, if I agreed with the Pope on all matters of faith and morals. I would say that probably 90% of the women on this site were in line with the Vatican on all issues. I was on the site for 3 months, met a nice women from Texas. Within two years of meeting we were married. We are now expecting our first child in April and I hope to have many more. My advice for anyone that is looking for a Catholic spouse…go to the source. Find a place such as AveMariaSingles.com and advertise yourself. It has worked for many people, including myself.
I can only speak for myself.
I have always tried to live as a good catholic life. I spend most of my free time at church helping anyway I can. I have the time now to devote to my church; I may not have as much time with a family. (That is my reasoning for working so much now).
I read somewhere on this form (it may have been pure love) that you should embrace being single before getting married. You should become whole in god before finding that special someone to share the rest of your life with.
If your sister really wants to find someone she has to get out there. There are many very active catholic groups doing gods work. Look to your church for these groups. If there are no groups available start one. You would be surprised on how welcoming churches are to young adult groups.
Good catholic men are active catholic men.
Hope this helps.
Gods humble servant.
P.S. If you are in Los Angeles we have something called Religious Education Congress and Youth Day. They are filled to the brim with young adult groups.
That is what is most depressing about this situation. My sister is a very active single person. She impresses me with the way she shares her time and talents in the world and the Church. She is in the Archdiocesan choir, volunteers at our parish, helps direct our parish choir, is an EO in our parish youth group, go to many pro-life events, lobbying events, oh, it makes my head spin!
Yet even in these areas where you would think of meeting many like-minded, solid people, you’d be surprised. In fact, I think there is another thread on here where I was reading about a man who said the same thing. I think it was: He dated a girl who was protesting in front of a clinic and she wanted to have premarital sex on their date) That’s not far from what’s out there at all!
Many of the people she meets are living very sinful, unhappy lifestyles, even though they go to these events or call themselves Catholic. And I am proud of her for being a strong witness to them. She has touched many souls. Everyone likes her and is drawn to her. Hearts and minds are changed when she talks to them. But no one is there for her. She is like a lonely doctor surrounded by patients!
lol, I wouldn’t be disagreeable to that. You know, I practically grew up with my now fiancee as we were in the same city and group. But he was my sister’s friend more than mine. I tend to be more of a loner with one or two close friends; I never reached out to the others in the group.
Well, one day at the zoo, my sister made us stand still and exchange our screen names. Not 6 months later, we were dating.
I figure I need to pay her back for the beautiful gift she gave us!
** But no one is there for her. She is like a lonely doctor surrounded by patients!**
I used to know that feeling… All I can say is “don’t let your sister loose hope”. Tell her to trust in God to decide her vocation. I know it can be very difficult; many of us have planned our lives out but we must trust in god on our actual path. I know we all want someone to talk and relate to and maybe that is what she needs to find contentment.
I’ve been very fortunate to have a strong faithful catholic family and devoted friends to be there for me, but it wasn’t until I met a very special girl (who sounds much like your sister) that my faith grew in unbelievable proportions because I finally left the insecurity behind me. It was because there was ONE, one who believed as strongly as I do, and who lived like I do that I found contentment. I finally found god by my side and I left the rest to him.
I call her a good friend nowadays and we support each other by talking via e-mail and by phone. (She had to move away).
I may not be able to be there physically for her or your sister, but if you like to give her my e-mail (or visa versa) I would be glad to start a dialog with her. To let her know she is not alone and she has someone to talk to who is like her.
Hi John, are you going to LA Religious Ed Congress? My parish is probably going, I am taking my wife and kids, though I have some concerns about it, I am going to see it for myself.
I would encourage your sister to embrace being single and being involved in her spiritual life. If she gets out and is involved in witnessing and spreading the faith, she will eventually meet someone if it is God’s will.
If she never gets out there her chances are much lower of any progress in that area.
St. Augustine said that in order to know God we must know ourselves. This might be an opportunity to deepen her faith (even more).
I remember I used to not like being single (in HS and College), and then i would get in a relationship and not like being taken, back and forth. It is very interesting how that works.
I have a feeling that when she does meet a good Catholic guy it wont be in any of those situations, Church, Choir, etc. But God will randomly allow them to meet somewhere unexpected.
Tell her to be patient and use this time of singleness as an opportunity to get a deeper understanding for her reliance on God and to build a stronger bond/relationship with Christ.
Just a bunch of random thoughts, sorry their so random I just woke up.
Please provide the quote so that I may see in what context it was used.
Becuase I think that is an anti-Catholic/anti-Christian view of the faith.
God will and does make Himself known to people at every step of their life, no matter what spiritual state they may be in. Witness the following passage:
"Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." - Romans 1:20
In your original post, you mentioned “swearing off drinking and partying…” I’m an old fogey, could you clarify what young people mean by this? Are you talking about underage drinking? And please, define “party-ing”.
The reason I ask, I’m a devout Catholic, as are many of my friends… As adults, we do drink alcohol in moderation. We also love to go hear good music and dance, we even have dances at the Parish (for youth, for adults and at family events). In my day, going out dancing/hanging with friends was what we called party-ing. Do I have an out-dated idea?
I met my husband doing ministry work. If you’ve ever heard of NET, based in St. Paul, MN. netusa.org There are a lot of couples that come out of that group and a lot who decide to go into religious life. There is a no dating policy while you’re serving, but there are a lot of great friendships that turn into something more once you’ve finished your year. It’s definitely something that you have to be called to, and you shouldn’t go do it expecting to get a spouse out of the deal, but the fellowship that you receive during the year was something that drew me to it. Maybe that would be something that she would like to look into.