Feeling sad...what is God's will?


#1

Hi everyone;

Not sure why really, just feeling sad …I prayed the Chaplet today, and Rosary–and still feel blue about these issues. I dont know why really, just don’t know what God wants for my husband and me. My husband has been flip flopping on the whole ‘having another baby’ discussion. We agreed that we would just pray about it, and discuss it ‘at the end of Q1’ remember that?:o Well, a few nights ago he said that ‘he didn’t think it was a good idea for us to have another baby…’ to last night saying…‘I prayed for God to enlighten me on understanding the church’s teachings, and about having a baby.’ In both instances, I have said nothing…I know that he is discerning, like me, and I don’t want to debate with him. In the meantime, we still have to learn NFP/take a class, or we will end up pregnant–whether he likes it or not.

Then, I dumped that job opportunity (remember that recruiter who sought me out?)–well, didn’t dump it exactly. But, I canceled my second meeting with the second set of managers that I needed to see, before Christmas week, and told the guy to touch base with me after the holidays. My reason was that with the holidays approaching, and several unexpected meetings the week prior to Christmas, I thought it best if we postpone our meeting. He never replied to my voicemail–nor to my email. I thought that was rude–at least say…ok, talk to you after the holidays. I’m not contacting them anymore. The initial person I met with, told me I could take all the time I need…that this was an open door opportunity. Right. Truthfully, in part, I canceled, because I thought about having another baby, and how my current employer would be more understanding of that…:frowning: Now, I’m not sure if we will be having a baby at all.

I just feel sad today. I am grateful for my life, my family, my faith–I felt a sense of calm after praying today–and last night at mass–I felt a sense of calm…of peace. Compared to others in the world, even some on this board, my ‘problems’ seem dumb and silly. But, I dunno…I just feel sad about it all…I am normally an upbeat type person, so feeling like this…just feels so out of sorts for me.:frowning:

Not even sure what to ask you to pray for me–but just wanted to share this, and perhaps, you could keep me in your prayers…Thanks.


#2

You know that just because you’re not contracepting, you won’t automatically just get pregnant, right? Perhaps you both need to stop worrying and leave it in God’s hands. He may give you another child, He may not. (Easier said than done, I know. I’m a bit of a control freak at times.)

Otherwise, hang in there. It’s a brand new year, wide open, full of possibilities. God bless you and yours.


#3

Not to bore you with the details, but I had a really really bad day today (family, and my dad in particular:( ).

Here’s to common misery :thumbsup: :wink:

But, to still trust in God’s love :thumbsup: :yup:


#4

Well, my husband doesn’t think so. I am totally for leaving everything in God’s hands, and my husband seems to be on some days…other days, not.

I know I shouldn’t worry about this, but don’t know why I feel sad about it.


#5

Oh, sorry to hear that MS. Maybe it’s just one of those days.:shrug: :frowning: God bless you.


#6

I spent a long time in a no-mans-land … what my job was doing to me was completely intolerable, I lost all sense of attachment to my parish after a few years of the way it is currently managed and the problems that creates in my part of the running thereof, and all sorts of stuff thrown at me in the process of being a musician got me to the point where all desire to play anything for anyone, anywhere, anytime was gone. God’s will for “what next” on any front was not clear at all. Not even any hints!

Job situation was resolved. I guess the other two will follow … sometime. :stuck_out_tongue:

It’s not as important as having another baby or not, but I think I know how you feel. I don’t need to know minute-by-minute what the next step is supposed to be, but a state of limbo does get to you sometimes.

:console:


#7

Thank you, Guitar for that. Believe it or not, that helps. :o I wonder sometimes if that is part of it all…just flowing with what comes our way from God. I tend to hear crystal clear signs from God though–typically…our move to Florida…my job…my husband has a great new oppty with Disney coming his way…so, there are things that seem to be clearer than others. I was on such a ‘high’ when I finally was enlightened to my husband and I rediscovering NFP…and the possibility of having another baby. I was soaring high in thinking about how we really were going to try to live everything right in our faith…and we are, but the high of it has gone…and now my husband is back to vascillating between thinking about having a baby, and not…and more on the ‘not’ side.

Sorry to ramble…I guess it helps in some way to share this. One of my new year’s resolutions is to become holier…and my husband told me last night that he is going to do the same thing…that he wants to know our Chruch’s teachings more and more…I am intending to getting back to praying the Rosary and Chaplet daily…I used to do that, and got away from it…

Anyways…I hope this feeling of melancholy passes.:frowning:


#8

Do you think some of it could be post holiday blues? —KCT


#9

It could be. Soon, we will be taking the tree down. Going back to work tomorrow. Kids have been talking about missing PA a little…I have enjoyed the time home with my family…and visiting relatives…it has gone too fast, indeed. But, it’s been a feeling that has been brewing for the past week…

I think what bothers me is thinking of my husband’s potential reaction if we were to be pregnant this year. He is a great husband and dad…I guess it surprises me a little, to know that he has this opposition to it. I could see if he loathed parenting.:shrug: Why can’t he just say…‘hey yeah a new baby would be GREAT.’ :frowning:


#10

After so long in the corporate world, I often find myself running my life like I run my department. And, that doesn’t always work so well. You can’t always make command decisions and run your life with project management techniques!

It’s really hard to let life come to you, especially if you are used to being in charge in a business environment. So, pray for that-- pray for the grace to let things unfold in your life instead of trying to make things happen.

It’s hard. We all go through it. And, I’m a lot better at giving advice than taking it… :smiley:


#11

That makes sense, 1ke. I would like for my husband to be happy about the ‘thought’ of having a baby though. But, suppose a baby is not in God’s plans…and maybe we were just meant to be open to life…always…and not necessarily blessed with another baby. I would be fine with whatever God wills our way…but, I am concerned that I let a possible job oppty pass by – but reality is, that I didn’t feel so good about it. I have read St Ignatius’ work, where he spoke of discerning God’s will, and how if there is tremendous uneasiness that comes at the onset of deciding on something in particular, it’s probably not God’s will.

I will let 2008 unroll…I just don’t want my husband to be upset if we were to get pregnant…I just wish the ‘thought’ of a baby brought a larger smile to his face. It saddens me because a baby would be a product of our love…so why does he get so stressed thinking about that? Oh well…:shrug:

I dunno…


#12

WG, Everything is going to be fine,;). If your DH is not saying NO to a baby with loud protest, he would be fine with getting pregnant and will love having a new baby, I can just about promise it. Remember men do not have baby modes, being pregnant is ok, not being pregnant is ok. That’s just the way God makes men:shrug:. So not to worry.

When we had our caboose, my wife was mid 30’s and in major baby mode. I really tried to explain to her why it would not be a difficult to have a larger family. Well we did have that baby and everything has worked out and the blessings abound for the entire family.

It may seem like he is stressed, but it is the man’s job to provide for the entire family. He is worrying(not in a bad way) about taking care of you now and in the years to come, and providing for the two children you have now.

If God sends you guys a new baby it will work out and he will be just as good a Daddy, maybe better, with that new baby. :smiley:


#13

Whatevergirl, i’ve been reading about the change in your heart over babies/ pregnancy/ God’s meaning for fertility etc. It sure is powerful grace going on.

I will let 2008 unroll…I just don’t want my husband to be upset if we were to get pregnant…I just wish the ‘thought’ of a baby brought a larger smile to his face. It saddens me because a baby would be a product of our love…so why does he get so stressed thinking about that? Oh well…

Coupla things: first, maybe you will pray that you and GoodHusband are ***like-minded ***in this. Whenever my husband and I are in disagreement over an important thing, I pray for likemindedness. WE always get it and it’s always likemindedness that is pleasing to God and consistent with Church teachings.

next, the GoodHusband smile: we have ten children. my GoodHusband has not always demonstrated that smile when given the news of expecting. But he always eventually returns to the joy of obedience. And when the nine months has passed, and Baby is born, he is filled with deepest gratitude, thrill and delight and total love for me and Baby.

And I know that part of that stress is that he is a great Dad and husband and a darned hard-working provider. That stress is him processing the rededication of himself to getting out there and breaking his back to pay the bills. Maybe your GoodHusband stresses over that too.

I never worry that his glum reaction is anything but very temporary. Of my GoodHusband’s and my complimentary natures, I am the effervescent one. He’s the measured one. God knows what HE’s doing.


#14

We were not blessed with children … but I have pretty much always provided for both of us … and I must admit my heart sinks ever so slightly for just a teensy minute everytime Him Indoors comes up a new way of disposing of yet more money, even when it is something that I really do want him to have or do. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m joking of course, but I can imagine that even while being open to a new baby and even excited about it, there might be just that element of feeling the increase in financial responsibility (or the extension of responsibility by the length of the age gap between the new baby and the last one) taking a tiny bit of the shine off it.


#15

Awww…Sharon :hug1: I believe it was St. Augustine’s mother who prayed for a lot of years for her son. You keep praying…whatever God’s will is, you’ll know.
As for the “high” you felt…that’s normal when you change something for the better. Now comes the reality and the work part. I’ll keep you and your husband in my prayers.

Kathy


#16

Still praying for you, dear prayer partner!

:crossrc:


#17

Thanks krista:)


#18

Well…the protest can be louder on some days.:blush: Please keep us in your prayers, and thank you for your uplifting and encouraging words everyone…you’re the best!:slight_smile:


#19

That is an excellent idea–thank you. I will pray for likemindedness…I like that! I think that is probably what I was most confused on…what to pray about with the whole thing.:o I don’t want to pray to be pregnant, or something that might not even be God’s will…I do always try to ask God to make me align my will with His…and then I let it go. I think I was getting hung up with this particular situation…I feel a sigh of relief reading this, now. Thank you very much.


#20

Perhaps you are stressing too much about the baby issue?

God also wants us to place all trust in Him and not stress and worry.

The worry and the agonizing are dividing your family - and that is not what God wants.
Sometimes maybe God just wants us to listen and be ready to obey - turn ourselves over to him and surrender our wills to His.
Like Abraham - God asked that he offer his son. Abraham was most certainly going to do such. That was all God needed.

Go learn NFP and let God drive.


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