I feel like I am in a “checkmate” situation regarding vocational discernment. As a male, I have the option of priesthood, religious life, or marriage. I am not convinced that being single is really a vocation, and even if it is, I would be miserable having to live the rest of my life all by myself, without any sort of commitment to anyone. I suppose I could become a priest or religious, but I don’t really want to, and I have been told that you shouldn’t pursue a vocation if you don’t genuinely desire it. I really would like to get married, but I don’t think I ever will; I am very physically unattractive. So I feel stuck. The vocation I want seems impossible for me, and the vocation(s) that do seem possible, I’m not interested in. What should I think of this? I don’t know what to do. Thank you.
A vocation is God’s call and therefor, His idea. The more time we spend in His company, the better we get to know Him. After all, by the fact that He is our author, He is our context. We are all about Him. Seldom do we really know what we want anyway. I suggest that you spend regular time before a crucifix (or better, before the tabernacle), reflecting on what He has told us about Himself on Good Friday. The more He matters to us, the better we know Him and the better we know ourselves. This is how we learn His will for us. You are in our prayers.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.