I feel so depressed right now I realise that the depression problem should be solved and I’m trying to get the courage to see a doctor, but until then the only thing that makes me happy is talking about fashion (and it’s not like seeing a doctor will change how I feel immediately anyways), like the necklace I’m getting at Christmas, and no one wants to talk to me about it I am desperately unhappy, like I said hobbies and friends don’t cheer me up at all, I’m going to a meetup tomorrow in another city, should be exciting but I could care less…
I really want to talk about the necklace and not just me: I saw a nice necklace. person: yeah that looks nice changes topic I want people to say something like, “That necklace looks like it would go with a white shirt, what are your thoughts?” “I can see you wearing that necklace on a cruise, do you agree?” “If you were having dinner with someone and they saw your necklace, how do you think the conversation would go?”
I was so desperate that I went on Craigslist thinking I would offer to do stuff with someone in exchange that they would pretend to be interested so we could talk about it for 15 min. And I saw this guy’s post on there “I’m looking to meet a cute girl for a father-daughter type relationship. I’d like to take you out for a meal, treat you to nice days out and hear about your life - be an older role model for you. In exchange, I hope you’d be good to me too :-)”
So I thought wow he would listen to me talking about topics I want to talk about but it sounds like I might not have to have sex with him. When I contacted him he said I don’t have to have sex with him and we can just be friends. But he says stuff that makes me uncomfortable like he calls me babe and sweetie and hun and he told me that I looked curvy and also he obviously sees the father thing in a fetish way, I thought maybe he just means like he wants to mentor a younger woman but he sees it in a fetish way, he says stuff like Daddy will tuck you in if you’re a good girl and that makes me feel uncomfortable. But I am desperate to have someone to listen to me talk about the necklace because for me that symbolises hope and happiness, I don’t even want someone to say well it won’t solve anything, well at least I believe it will solve something so I can be happy for a few seconds with that thought! Like I said I haven’t seen a doctor yet and when I do it’ll be a while before I feel better!
I am willing to put up with the guy saying inappropriate things because honestly I would be willing to do anything to have someone listen to me about the necklace, when I talk about it I have a relief from my depression. But I feel like the guy doesn’t care because he said he has to see me on cam to make sure I’m real, and I told him I really hate cam can we just meet in person, but he insists we have to cam. So I offered to do it today but he said he wants to do it tomorrow and I wanted to talk to him about the necklace today but he won’t talk to me until he sees me on cam although he is around, which shows he doesn’t care, it’s not my fault he can’t cam today. If he cared he’d talk to me and just cam tomorrow, the fact that I offered to do it today shows I’m real.