Feeling very sad and lonely


#1

Hi all

I posted a topic a couple days ago about being divorced and a soon to be Godmother.

I guess I wanted to maybe vent a bit a get support.

For years I prayed God would send me my soulmate and I thought it came true when I met my now ex husband.
We dated for five years, were married for 3 and 4 months after we bought our first home he decided he was very unhappy and left me for a woman we both know. He is now engaged to be married to her.
I on the other hand am still single, in debt with the house in foreclosure, and seeing a therapist. I had a nervous breakdown and suffer horribly from anxiety and depression.

I guess my question is… why is God blessing him and punishing me? I was by no means a perfect wife but I’m human and fall short. I wanted so badly to save my marriage. If God did not want that to happen why didn’t he at least send me another partner? I don’t even have the heart to date again.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. I just feel very sad and lonely. All I wanted was a simple life with a husband and family and I guess I’m struggling to understand why it was stripped away from me in such a way.


#2

Life is seldom ever seldom simple. You may be able to work your way out of a couple of your setbacks.
Go to your bank/lender and see if you can forestall your foreclosuer by paying the principle at this time. Banks would rather have the money rather than be saddled with the house. The bank worked with a friend of mine in such a manner. Try to get a roommate to help with the debt. If you are working now try to get a part-time job if you are able. If you have room and your house is safe babysitting for 2 or 3 children can be lucrative. Find out your state rules. If you have a car that is in good shape and fairly good on gas advertise and become a runner for the elderly or the disabled who need help for shopping. My brother was a taxi driver for many years and he was the one they would ask for because he was always good to those in need. He always got good tips even 'though he didn’t expect them from the poor. You may be able to set up a small call service in your home. As in everything I have mentioned check with state laws and rule. Just don’t go down without a fight. Be like me: hard headed and defient. Now I can’t see what I am writing 'cause an ap has blocked my screen…


#3

I’m sorry. You have my prayers.


#4

I’m really sorry this is happening to you. I don’t have a lot to add, just please know I’m praying for you. You deserve much better than this.


#5

I’m so very sorry you’re dealing with this. I’ve suffered for years with anxiety, depression, and all the pain that goes along with it. Before I found my wife I dated a woman for 10 years. When she decided to leave me I was devastated as well. I saw her going on with her life, dating new men, and generally in a better place than I was. I spent a couple years feeling similar to how you are now. Eventually things did end up getting better and I ended up meeting a wonderful woman whom I’ve been blessed to be married to for the past 5 years now. In fact we both went through RCIA together, big bonus! Anyhow I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in how you feel and I pray things get better for you. As for your questions, I won’t be much of a help. I do believe God has a plan and it’s not to punish you. I wish I was better at expressing myself so I could maybe help you more. Don’t give up, you sound like a very caring woman who deserves the best. God bless you.


#6

I’ve never married so I can’t imagine how you make that decision to marry. Please, no private ino here.

The last verse in John’s gospel says that the things that Jesus did would fill all the book in the world. I think that’s literally true, if you consider what he has done in the life of each person. The point of which is, perhaps people contemplating marriage should look into the “book” of their future mate and see what Christ has done there. Maybe emotions and other factors rank higher, in most cases. But, it shouldn’t be overlooked for a Christian (something got lost here)
These forums are not for personal advice. But, in general it might be best to work through these problems as quickly as possible.

my mother lost two husbands, the first to disease, the second to homicide. Aside from the immediate shock, she never wanted to live her life without the security of a husband, which is one of the main jobs of a husband. Her father was an alcoholic, and I suspect there was a lot of fighting in her family of six brothers and sisters. What resulted for me was to provide in the second half of her life what was lacking and messed up in the first half of her life. I did not want for her to live in such psychic pain and economic insecurity that she lived through earlier.

In general, I can appreciate what you’re going through. I know men who were very callous with their wives. We all wish you the best and who knows but that with God’s help your life may be better than it has been recently.


#7

even in my small town there are women’s support groups. You may want to consider what free support you can get until you get back on your feet again.


#8

I’m so very sorry. Hugs and prayers. :hugs: :hugs:


#9

I’m sorry that this bad thing beyond your control happened to you. It’s an awful trial to face.
I hope you will come through it better and stronger and meet people who truly value you and keep their commitments.
I will pray for you.


#10

If you read Psalms you will read a lot of lamentations on how the righteous suffer and the wicked flourish.

Praying for you and may God care for you.

Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact of life. A lot of us carry with us our unfulfilled wishes and dreams.


#11

While I’m sorry to hear your misfortune, I’d just like to add that God does not reward people for leading sinful lives. The Church does not condone such behavior, unless of course you were married outside the Catholic Church. But to leave you with all that debt is indeed inexcusable and unjust to say the least.

I am praying that God will intervene and enlighten you, may He guide your every step and lead you in the right direction from here. For now you will feel abandoned and forsaken, but our Lord promised eternal happiness to those who choose not to abandon Him, Seek Almighty God with all your heart and soul, seek earnestly to do His will, and I promise you will He will resolve all your issues, one way or another. You will rejoice in the Lord even if things do not seem to be working quite the way it should for a time. God wants nothing more than to give you eternal happiness! Seek first the Kingdom of God and His justice and the rest shall be given to you! So even if all seems lost in this life, all things seem to drag you down, remember the promise:
“…you shall receive a hundred fold and life everlasting”!

God bless you and provide you with all the spiritual and physical things that you need. May our Blessed Mother in heaven please shed tears before Her only Son in heaven on your behalf and forever protect you from the attacks of the devil!


#12

the story is not over yet. The best revenge is finding happiness yourself. Forget him. He doesn’t deserve to occupy your thoughts.


#14

God does not bless and punish in this way.

Read St Augustine on the problem of evil. He would say everyone is good. Some have their good corrupted by a % of evil. That’s free will, not God’s doing.
Keep rejecting corruption and value the good in you.

The true blessing is in eternal life with God


#15

Listen this is my first time on any religious site and idk anything about it. But im lonely. Im 28 years old and i dont have any friends or family. Im at a point wherd i literally am home alone all day everyday working on myself but never having human contact. So if u want someone to talk to we can message or email. I have looked for friends but ive been told im a little to intellectual and private to ever really make a friend or trust someone. Im here if u wanna talk i could use it myself


#16

Good Morning Missdani: I’m so sorry to hear about your misfortunes. If it helps, I don’t think that anyone is rewarding your ex-husband or punishing you. There are simply some selfish people in the world and they do tend to get ahead of the rest of us in many ways. And it really hurts when you become their victim. Right now you have a lot going on, and on top of that you seem to be at a point where you’re conflicted, because on one hand you ask why you don’t have a new partner and other the other hand you don’t have the heart to date again. That inner conflict is probably causing you even more stress, so maybe it’s best to put ideas about relationships aside for a while so you can focus on some of the practical problems you’re trying to deal with, and maybe at a later time you’ll be in a better frame of mind for getting into another relationship. Right now, I think that’s just putting more pressure on yourself at a time when you need to heal and reassess your situation.

Just know that you’re not alone. We all struggle with one thing or another and sometimes it just gets really bad, and it sounds like you’re in one of those really bad spots right now. So, try and make some good short-term decisions about what you can do day to day as best you can and remember that it won’t always be this bad.

Sending you wishes and hopes for some happiness!


#17

God never allows something to be taken away from you without giving you back something better. We love you xx


#18

Thank you all. It’s nice to hear people say you’re not alone. Because I feel very alone. I have others things going on too and some days I just want to sleep and forget the world. I isolate myself a lot and I’ve lost many friends. I’ve also slipped in work a lot. It’s very difficult. My family is very sad for me too which makes it worse. I just never ever thought I’d be divorced much less betrayed by the person I trusted most. And I also had friends in the same circle that knew my ex was with another woman. It just makes me question everything in life. It’s sad but I have serious trust issues now and I feel very low.


#19

Maybe go see your doctor and see if he feels you need some medication or talking therapy


#20

I’ve felt this way too. I went through a divorce as well. I had to realize that we are not here to marry and have children. We are here to fall in love with God, to get to know God. Marriage is a beautiful icon of God, a way to understand Him more deeply, but it is not God Himself, not true heaven. God has you where you are for a bigger purpose. He is growing you, pushing you. Keep your eyes open to the Holy Spirit, and look to see how He is moving in your life right now. There is something bigger going on, so it’s up to you to accept the challenge. Sending hugs. I’m really sorry about your ex. There are lots of good people out there, so don’t let him get to you, he’s just one person. It’s important to pray for him and continue to understand him and where he was at, and to work on the forgiveness so you can move on.


#21

God see’s your pains and struggles. Its times like this when we need to surrender all our heart, mind, and soul to Christ. Ask him for forgiveness of all past sins, and forgive all those who hurt you, and most importantly ask him to create in you a new heart.

He will comfort you in these times if you seek Him with all your heart.


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