“Feelings” of Love for God


No, no relation to iaskquestions. I just liked his name and it applies to myself and the reason I’m here.

This is long, but I need help, so please read:

In prayer, I kept telling God I didn’t know how to explain love. I just kept telling Him “I can‘t explain it, it‘s just…a feeling”. I thought that love consisted of emotion and “feelings”. The problem for me was, it wasn’t a very strong feeling. This made me question my love for God. I thought that maybe I truly didn’t love Him. This hindered me from saying certain prayers, such as the basic Act of Love.

Then I learned about true contrition. For a while, I kept putting off confession because I didn’t “feel” sorry. I thought that true sorrow consisted in emotion and tears. But then I learned that contrition was not really an emotion, or a “feeling”, but an act of the will. I starting thinking then that the same might apply to love. Sure enough it does. I learned that even if you don’t “feel” love for God, that doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t love Him.

Now on to my problem.

My problem is not so much that I don’t have this “feeling” of love for God, but that I have it for others and not for God. Now I’ve experienced dryness. I feel dryness constantly. But this can’t really be dryness, because I do have “feelings” and emotions right now…just not for God.

I have what I believe to be a deep love for the Blessed Virgin. Just the other day I was telling her how much I love her, and how she warms my heart, which is not a very easy thing to accomplish with me. It is rare that anyone or anything gives me these warm feelings (or what some would describe as “mushy” or “touchy-feely” emotions).

Then I thought to myself: “Why don‘t I have these same ‘feelings’ for God?” “Does this mean I don‘t love God as much as the Blessed Virgin?” “What‘s going on here?”

At first I didn’t think much of it. I quickly mentioned it in prayer, and thought that it was probably a temptation from Satan to get me to either stop praying to Mary and try to distance myself from her (which is exactly what he‘d want), but now it’s really starting to concern me.

I do know though that just because I have “feelings” for the Blessed Virgin, and not God, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I love her more, or that I don’t love God at all. Why is it though that I have warm feelings for the Blessed Virgin right now, but none at all for God? Is it possible to have partial dryness? Dryness with God, but not with the Blessed Virgin?

So that’s my first concern: The fact that I have “feelings” for the Blessed Virgin right now, but not for God. My second concern is closely related. I’ll continue:

I do go through periods where I “feel” closer to God, or “feel” a certain love for Him (especially when thinking about His passion), but even on those days of consolation and “feelings”, I’ve still never felt the same way I feel about the Blessed Virgin. Why is it that I feel such deep and warm feelings for the Blessed Virgin, much stronger than those I’ve ever felt for God? The only thing I could think of was that I am a man and she is a woman (the perfect woman…and mother). I don’t like getting into psychology and everything, but is it possible that the reason I have these feelings for her is because she is in fact and woman? and because I find it hard to have these same feelings for God, who I view as manly?

I’ve tried answering my first concern (having “feelings” in general for Mary, but not Him), and the only positive answers I could come up with are:

Maybe God is allowing me to have “feelings” for her to make me pray more to her, and become closer to her, so she can help me more and obtain the graces for me which I may not have gotten if I didn’t ask for her prayers, intercession, and for those graces she knows I need, whatever they may be.

Or (and this is a similar answer) maybe God is allowing me to have “feelings” for her to make me want to do things which are pleasing to her. This answer came to my mind because I’ve recently thought to myself “how can I please my Holy Mother?”. I thought to myself “maybe I should start saying the rosary again”, which I know is very pleasing to her (I stopped saying the rosary over a month ago when I fell into a sort of disparity. I haven’t said the rosary since). And so maybe God is allowing me to have “feelings” to get me to start saying the rosary again. The rest of the answers I came up with were negative.

And about my second concern (the deepness of these “feelings” being stronger and warmer than those I‘ve “felt” for God), I’ve already given you my speculation. Perhaps it has to do with the natural man/woman thing. I don’t know…


I’m with you on the man/woman thing. As a woman, I have much more emotional connection to God than to the Blessed Mother.



try to remember that love is a choice, not so much a feeling. St Padre Pio said, we shouldn’t measure our love for God by the feelings we get in loving Him.

If you feel love for the Blessed Mother, I’m sure that pleases God too :slight_smile:

just try to please Him in everything and do His will, and avoid anything that offends Him. Try to love Him in your choices. The feeligns will come. Even the Saints struggled with dryness, that’s normal. If we still choose to love in these times, that’s how we grow.

God bless


Dear iaskquestions2,
I find your questions quite interesting. I believe, maybe, the reason you feel closer to “Our Blessed Virgin Mary” is because she is was a human being - a woman. I’m not sure what your relationships have been like throughout your life, comparing your relationship with men vs. women. Do you have an easier time talking with women as compared to men?
I find it easier to talk with God, but at the same time, I love praying to Mary, because she is the perfect one to intercede to “Our Lord, Jesus Christ”.
I think you might be right about needing to go back to saying the Rosary again. Perhaps it is God telling you to continue to pray with “My Holy Mother”. At this point of time I believe you should be very proud that you do love “Our Blessed Mother” so much that you do pray to her, even if it is more than you do to God Himself. Continue to pray to Mary, with all your love and all your heart! Ask for her guidance, her graces, her mercy for you to learn to love God in the way you “feel” you should! Also remember God is all understanding, God wants us all to join Him in Heaven! Never give up! Never allow the devil to get in the way of your love for “Our Blessed Queen”! For you are right, the devil will try very hard to disconnect you from any good feelings you have that relate to “The Holy Trinity”, “Our Blessed Family”, any of the Angels and Saints in Heaven! Continue to pray as much as you can! :gopray2::gopray2::gopray2: Your love for “Our Holy and Blessed Mother” makes God very happy and I’m sure He is smiling down on you!
God Bless and keep us all,
Angel Face


My dear friend

A big welcome to the forums:slight_smile:

We continually change in our spiritual life. We may feel drawn to Mary, then after a while Jesus, then the Holy Spirit, then our Guardian Angel, then a Saint and on and on it changes through our life. It is the Holy Spirit who has given you this consolation and drawn yout to Mary. He will often change you. It is very likely your current devotion is done to get you back onto those rosary beads. It does not matter which way and where the living Holy Spirit draws us, just go and move with the flow. It’s all pleasing to God equally. The love you feel for and offer to Mary is conidered as going to Himself totally by God. So God is happy because your givng Him lots of love right now. Love is all He wants too.

May your Blessed Mother hide you under Her mantle and bring you through this vale of teers safely:thumbsup::slight_smile:



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