Felt like the woman at the well


I’ve been waiting for 2 weeks now for DH to breach the issue of attending Easter Mass. Normally he does not attend mass with us on a regular basis, but on ‘special’ occasions. Well, he didn’t end up going this weekend and I was only able to take 2 of our kids, so the other stayed at home with daddy.

I nearly cried during the part of the mass when the new candidates were baptised and announced to the parish. Two young mothers’ husbands came into the church and I had to fight back the tears longing for my own husband’s presence there.

It has become common practice for me to duck out early during the final song of the mass, just before father turns around and starts to proceed to the vestibule in the back. I am just too ashamed to face him and the crowds alone. Well, this time he caught me, sort of. I made it to the van and was loading the kids up and he skipped shaking hands in the vestibule and went on outside to go back around to the front of the church. He saw me and called out to wish me a happy easter, even calling me by name.

I got in the van and cried. I recalled the story of the woman at the well and how she went there at a time of day when she knew nobody else would be around b/c she was ashamed and knew they’d be talking about her. That’s how I felt. And I have never known Jesus’ presence so clearly except for that momen when father called out to me by name.

Please pray that DH will come back soon.


I feel your pain. :hug1:

The situation is the same in my family, almost exactly. I'm not the spouse, but only my dad goes to Mass, and only on occasion. My mother never goes. My brother will really only go if my dad goes.

I didn't used to go but I recently began going again. The sorrow was very heavy in my heart the first few Masses I attended by myself. I actually did cry a few times when I was alone (and I'm a guy!). I almost cried during Mass once actually, but I prayed to the Father that he remove the sorrow from my heart. So far it really hasn't been back :)

My advice is just to hang in there and pray a lot for his conversion of heart. Anything is possible with God! :thumbsup:

Talk to the Blessed Mother too and do what I did- pray to God that He remove the sorrow from your heart (so at least you can keep your composure).

Hang in there! God has a plan for all this! :hug1:


Have you read the stor of St. Monica? You really should if you haven't yet. ^_^

I was fortunate to marry a good catholic man, but I was raised by non-christians. I know what it is like to have family members who don't go to ANY church, ever. My father is anti-religion, and my mom is one of the biggest flip-floppers I have ever seen. And also won't go to church unless I am visiting and she has flopped back to "religious" but isn't trying to be mormon. Truth is, she's whatever faith the kid is that's visiting. If it's my brother she's mormon. If it's me, she's at least trying for baptist, but will sometimes go to mass.

I am sorry for your pain, but you shouldn't be ashamed to be going to church with just the kids. A lot of women at my church do it, and they are treated with just as much respect as any other. You should be proud of your position, in fact. When you go to mass, you can pray fervently for the conversion of your husband, and serve as an ambassador and intercessor for your whole family. Be proud of yourself! :)


**JLCecelia & Cooldude & everyone else with family members away from the Church,

St. Monica pray for us!

i feel your pain, this joyous Easter i was alone again at Mass & felt the same sadness & sense of failure that i have not been a good enough example to inspire them to return to the Church & share in the Fullness & Truth of the joyous love of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ!

May God’s will be done!
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Pecatoribus!



:console: I know how it is. My DH is protestant. He comes with me to mass most weeks, but more as a spectator than a participant. He seems as far from conversion as ever. I don’t attend anything but mass and confession. I can’t join any groups or other activities because I don’t have children (huge family parish) and I don’t even have a catholic spouse to go with. I COULD attend but I’d be sitting by myself in the corner crying and feeling sorry for myself. It is so hard sometimes. :frowning: I’m glad that priest was able to be Jesus to you. You deserve to be loved for the wonderful wife and mother you are! :hug3:


You have both my sympathy and my understanding. My husband is a believer in God (prays daily and helps me in my own prayers) but grew up without a church. Then he lived in Boston when the church scandals became publicised, so his views of the Catholic church were poor at best. Then he met me! :slight_smile: While I still haven’t convinced him to join the faith I’ve gotten him to better understand our beliefs and he’s not anti-Catholic anymore. More cautiously optimistic. While this change of belief is great, I do still wish I didn’t have to make the first move on going to church. I remember many a Sundays while we were dating when I was in the pew by myself looking at all the couples together in worship and it made me wish that my boyfriend was Catholic and could sit and go to church with me. Now that he’s my husband I’m seeing more willingness to go to mass with me. It’s so much better when they’re there. He’s not an every Sunday attender, but he’s working on it. Many prayers that your husband also starts to become more interested in attendance.


My husband very rarely attends Mass - and he’s Catholic! :frowning: I understand how hard it is, truly. I’ve had tears in my eyes just seeing a family with the Dad involved, and wishing so much it could be us that I’ve wondered if I was breaking the commandment to not covet.
You have no reason to be ashamed though - you aren’t doing anything wrong! You are bringing your children to Mass! :thumbsup:


Likely the stares are from you leaving mass early, not because you're bringing your children to Mass without a husband.

These days 50% of children live without two parents. And the remainder very few have "intact" families that really practice the same religion, aren't off to war or have a job.

So don't feel ashamed of having hubby not there. Pray for his soul, hug your children.

Because there are probably some people (even single ones) there who see your cute kiddos and wish that they had kiddos to love. (even if they think you are single)


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