This is Xantippe (the regular Family Life poster) not Xanthippe (the recently returned poster)–this is my first day posting on the new forum. Apologies for not knowing the current quote function.
“The usual response from such men is that, how can they be expected to meet women? Should they just not speak to them? How are they supposed to get laid that way?”
One thing I’d say to that is–how is this working for you? Do even 10% of women respond to these overtures positively? If 10% respond positively, that means 90% are annoyed or frightened, but 10% is a really high estimate for cold approaches. Everything I’ve heard about pick up artists suggests that it’s more like low single digits, with a lot of the heavy lifting being done by alcohol. The only way those guys have any sort of “success” is by pestering industrial size quantities of women. (And this, by the way, is why those approaches are not very flattering–sensible women know that it’s spam and that the guy has just been shot down by a dozen previous women and that he probably feels like he’s scraping the bottom of the barrel with her.)
Another issue is location/situation. Is the woman at work in a service position where she has to be nice to everybody and could lose her job if a customer complains about her? Is she on public transportation or an elevator and literally can’t get away? Does she have on earbuds and is working on a computer with a pile of fat textbooks next to her, with her eyes glued to the screen? Survey says that that woman does not want to meet new friends or have fun right now.
I feel like there’s also a failure to put the shoe on the other foot. Let’s say you’re a guy in a big city, and another guy approaches you to make friends with you. He’s a complete stranger, new in town and doesn’t know anybody and he’d like to go have coffee with you, maybe have somebody to shoot baskets with. So, gentleman, how do you feel about that? Do you want to go shoot baskets with your new friend who seems really eager to spend time with you? If not, why should some strange woman be delighted to meet you?
Likewise, about the sending of genital photography–how often does that “work”? How often does it gross women out who might have been otherwise open to getting to know a particular guy?