These are two real life situations with two real people, so we're talking about something that isn't an impossible combination, but I'm taking them as hypotheticals. I have a feasible if unimpressive theory on their meaning. So here it goes:
- FACTS: Man and woman make acquaintance in a Hollywoodesque scenario (one could earn some bucks on film rights). Off the bat they go to places generally once a week (not sure but it might even have been suggested that it could become more frequent), which is never called a date and it's always during daytime, but they both dress up and we're talking about summer time, and so on, they kiss on the cheek like old friends since the second time they ever see each other at all (which is a cinema non-date, basically), and they keep e-mail contact. In said e-mails, she uses a diminution of his name, which is longer than the name itself and does not really beg to be used, not even in family situations (and would sound wrong from a man that weren't a father or uncle or so). She's interested in keeping the thing going and she suggests further places to go to (opera etc.).
However, she stiffened under his touch one time, which he noticed and wondered what the reason was (it was relatively gentle and innocent - he tried to put a palm on her waist or something of the kind). He interpreted it as a surprisingly bad sign. He also noticed the one time she touched his hand by accident, she apologised.
Fast forward, the woman will later have claimed it had all been on a friends level and apologised if she had sent some other signals etc., though she will at the same time have admitted the necessity to change the rules from a more than friends but less than a couple (inconsistency).
MY THEORY is she didn't fully know what she was speaking when saying the above. The guy correctly spotted an attraction pattern (investing unproportional amounts of time and friendly interest, seeming a bit under a spell initially, the way the going out started right away, the diminution, the kissing on the cheek which she didn't normally do with friends, the dressing up but at the same time making herself feel cosy while talking to him, her picking outfits that could hardly have been supposed not to expound a feminine side of her or in some cases a bit flirty in a tasteful way, her appreciating how he told her any time of day or night was good if she wanted to call and she said she'd take note of that etc.), which she didn't ultimately want to act on, however, and she thought he couldn't have spotted anything because she masked it well enough, so he was projecting things independently from her. Her admission that it had been more than friends but less than a couple happened under less intense and less direct fire (he was using the limited access tactic as a weapon when said conversation ensued).
ON THE OTHER HAND, it's possible that the guy totally misread her, but that would have required an impressive sequence of accidents and he was quite adept at reading body language, not to mention a smart fella, so I don't think he could have been so completely misguided. If someone came to me for advice describing the woman's behaviour, I'd tell him there were no way the woman weren't interested, on the same signs, though being somewhat puzzled at her going stiff like that.
- FACTS: Same man, same woman, one year later or so. It's an accidental meeting and she's the one more interested in catching up. They're on the same bus for a short while and they know they'll be parting soon. She inexplicably offers unsolicited information about her plans for the rest of the day, which basically resembles a short but precise schedule with free room and she seems rather probing. The guy thinks she's giving him a hint and he plays stupid because he doesn't want to play by her rules.
MY THEORY is that it probably wasn't an accident that she gave him unsolicited information about her day with some room in it. She probably wanted him to make some offer in return, although chances are that it was just a conversation opening in friendly interest, or perhaps a diplomatic opening for a friendly hanging out.
What are your views? In return, I could analyse a thing or two for you, should you be needing that. ;)