I have/had this problem a few months after I married DH. We married on 3/18/06 and I believe it was 8/22/06 when I found porn videos and pictures on my home computer. I confronted DH. At first he said they downloaded themselves because he has this program for downloading music and things like this happen all the time (whatever). I stayed on the subject until he told me he did it and said it was just curiosity.
The next day I got on the computer and just for curiosity I pulled up this program he has and found he searched for these himself and had them saved on a personal file with his name. I confronted him again and tried to pull the same thing. I left very angry. I took a drive for about 2 hours and then came back home and asked him to PLEASE tell me why he was doing this.
He finally admitted he’s had a problem with porn since he was in junior high. When he told me this, my heart dropped to the ground. I felt betrayed :(. Dumb me, trusted him with the computer and found it a 3rd time a few months later. :mad: Then I had to put a password to the internet and blocked everything from obscene languange to pictures and videos.
I started trusting again (my bad) and took the password off, including the restrictions, and bam… a 4th time. :mad: I had it. I confronted him one last time and told him that if I ever found this again that it was over. I left for the evening and came back around 11pm. I felt so betrayed. It made me feel as though I wasn’t woman enough to please DH.
Believe me, this is an ongoing problem. I’ve been married for less than a year and found videos, pictures, including ringtones with sexual content (ie women climaxing). I try trusting him with the computer but it’s hard. He asked that I cancel the interne, I don’t know if I should or not, but that will surely stop this from happening at home.
**Simple One **this isn’t something that will go away with having sex once you’re married. I suggest you both try to come to an agreement of internet use, magazines or things of the like. As far as the masturbation goes, if he doesn’t have this sort of temptation, he’ll probably outgrow it, but I cannot say that he will.
This is a big problem to have but it can be worked on, but it is an addiction. Just look at my case, I caught it 4 times, but I know DH’s done it more than that. I know more about computers than he does so I know where to look for these files, he doesn’t know how to erase them completely from the memory… just remember that porn can lead to bigger temptations which might be worse (ie infidelity).
I don’t think you wnat this in your marriage, but if you’re willing to work with him on this, help him. You’ll need a lot of strength though, but if he loves you, he’ll be willing to work at it. Hey he already took the first step by admitting it to you.
My prayers are with you.