Here’s what i’m doing…it’s been 9 weeks I’ve been fighting this one. It’s easy to get depressed, you doubt how much you love God and Jesus, etc etc, DON’T DO THAT! Jesus tempts us to gauge our spiritual progression, if you don’t feel tempted now, it is because you have received the grace to live like that, trust me, the temptations will be back. It is wise to use this time to become strong, so that when they come you laugh at them!
So, after nine weeks of battle, here are the things i have fallen into a habit of doing (when i stop any one of these things, i sin again…Jesus knows exactly what we need to advance spiritually): (the less spiritual advice is near the bottom)
Pray. Constantly. As much as you can think about it. Even to the extent where you feel stupid, keep it in your heart, and you will keep Jesus in your heart. Rosary, Divine Mercy, scripture, wtv you like. Or even a tiny prayer, wtv gets you going.
Confession. As soon as you fall, go right away. Or as soon as possible. Infinite mercy awaits us in the confessional, even if you feel like an idiot, or a parrot saying the same thing over again. It is part of the battle…you fall, you confess it, and you get right back on the front line. Marines do the same thing over and over in their training, as should we in our spiritual training. Even if you have no mortal sins, go to confession at least once a week. That is my plan, and it works. There is plenty to confess when you think about it,and when you dont have mortal sins to block your conscience out.
Fasting. This one is tough, mainly because i am at school 14 hours a day. I do partial fasts (sun up to sun down) and it is a little rough. If you have never fasted, try it. At first, it was useful because instead of thinking of girls (or men) you think about how hungry you are…and eventually you realise how delicate life is and how much Christ provides, and you pray more. Also fasting is a sort of penance, good to do if you cant make it to confession right away along with an act of contrition. Sex and eating are closely linked, if you can control when you eat you can control other parts of your body. Put the sexual-monster in it’s cage and show it who is boss!
Blessed sacrament time/eucharist as often as possible: I visit every day. I can’t receive yet (let’s go easter 2008!), but just go to the Blessed Sacrament for 15-20 minutes at least, ask for the strength to remain in a state of grace.
Alright, that’s enough for the spiritual warfare stuff. Now the computer stuff. For me, beating sexual temptation without visual stimulus wasn’t so bad. After 2 or 3 failures you learn how to control your thoughts. The danger of porn is that it just circumvents your natural thought defenses and immediately activates a chemical reaction in your body (1/2 addiction reaction, and 1/2 sexual chemistry i guess) It feels like a wave… And then you’re toast. No matter how disciplined your mind is, if even one tiny pic creeps in you’re done for.
So, turn all the safe searches to maximum. Get a site blocker if you can. Have your account black listed at any pay-sites if you were a member in the past. Even if you don’t intend to go, cancel all your memberships. Tear up all your magazines. Even if you tell yourself you will never go again, you will. Make it so that if you try, you won’t be able to. And by that time, your rational brain will take over, you will have clicked the big X at the top right.
When i am alone late at night on the computer, i put my rosary around my neck. It is long enough to reach to my belt line, so that’s the last line of defense ( a good strong reminder) should i fall. I wore an elastic on my wrist for a week or so and everytime i thought of looking at porn, SNAP!
The best is a good Jesus background (or a background of someone you love dearly), i have the divine mercy image as my b/g. As soon as you feel the urge for some porn, hit ALT + F4 (close window) right away! And boom, there’s Jesus right there ready to give you mercies. Or in the case of a person you love deeply, while looking at the picture imagine them standing right there with you. What would they think? how would they feel? Pray a little bit.
Now, i notice you say you’re not a religious person. No worries, porn is still dangerous and disgusting from the secular standpoint. I know what i’m talking about, i was there for 8 years. I am going to be completely honest, I tried to stop, cut down, for so many years. It was only with my discovery of Jesus Christ when i started to make headway.
I pray for people addicted to sexual sin every night, and have included you in my prayers tonight. Get away from the computer, once you are done what you need to get done, go read a book (the bible maybe?? no worries)
PM me if you need moral support or anything, I’m goign through this right now, and am more than willing to share my insights.
Good luck, and don’t give up the battle. This can be done.