Fighting sexual temptations, help!


#1

Any advice in fighting sexual temptation?

I know this is a catholic forum but if your advice can be generalised, i mean, i don’t mind you quoting things (i would quite like it if you did), but if it can be tailored (keeping in mind that stating sex is the work of the devil or there are demons in your head-which i have found on other sites whilst browsing wouldn’t go down well with me) then that would be very helpful. The problem is i spend so much time infront of the computer then i find it difficult fighting the urge knowing it’s only a click away. I’m not a set religious person (i do have beliefs but don’t wish to label myself into any of these categories with rules that do not mesh completely with me) but i do recognise this as sinful. I also know that if anyone is going to have some real practical knowledge on fighting the urge then it will be found here.

thanks


#2

Get a filter, block the sites. Have someone else set it up for you so you don’t know the password. That’s a start. Check out www.trueknights.org for lots of helpful information. I know it’s very difficult to fight the temptation but you have to. I don’t know if you’re young, old, married, or plan to be married but whatever you are it will rot your mind and ruin your life in some way. Some have proven that it’s more dangerous than a drug. If all else fails get the computer out of your home. I know that’s extreme but it may help. I will pray for you.


#3

Wow Amy! You rock as a homeschooling mom! My wife is named Amy as well and we homeschool our 5 little ones…Grace 8, Gabriel 6, Greta 4, Gage 2, and Gloria 7 months.

I tried using that site… but there’s a few problems with it… and the utility to contact them doesn’t work either. If you have contact with these people, please let them know that their site needs some work… can’t read the articles as they are chopped off on the side, etc., etc.

Looks like a good organization… but the site needs some work.

Aaron


#4

Thank you, i like the idea of true knights, i wasn’t even aware there were groups out there like that, a filter sounds like a good idea, but i don’t think i will get anybody else to make a password, i think that would be weakness on my part, and i think i have to fight this properly. I honestly believe i can do this now, i have been inspired. I’ll definitely be visiting this forum with more problems of a similar nature in the future if they arise.


#5

Yes the site is under construction but there are links to the old site too


#6

Thanks! :slight_smile: It’s a big job but very rewarding.

Sorry about the site. I hadn’t been there in a while. It is an awesome organization. The site founder is on Catholic Connection with Teresa Tomeo occasionally. I really like him alot. He had a serious porn addiction.

I believe it’s Christopher West that has a CD and book out called Every Man’s Battle. I’m sure catholic.com sells it. I bought it for my husband some years ago.


#7

So my wife and I are joining the Church on Easter Vigil after having gone through weekly RCIA classes and an intensive home study regimen for the last 5 months… but we’re having trouble identifying with anyone in the parish. Every family has at most 2 or 3 children, and they’re contracepting as well(I’m the parish’s pharmacist!). We are joining largely because of my studies in Molecular Biology and Pharmacy showing the abortifacient effects of ‘birth control’.

Anyway, where are all of the large Catholic families? Is there a big homeschooling population out there in the States? We’re at a disadvantage serving overseas in the military.

Thanks,

Aaron
CPT, USA


#8

Just to update, all is going well on the front line, have not even felt tempted to commit sin since i posted last, i know there are other people doing this now so its easier, just wish me luck! i’m afraid that i’ll start to feel tempted, i need your support!


#9

Here’s what i’m doing…it’s been 9 weeks I’ve been fighting this one. It’s easy to get depressed, you doubt how much you love God and Jesus, etc etc, DON’T DO THAT! Jesus tempts us to gauge our spiritual progression, if you don’t feel tempted now, it is because you have received the grace to live like that, trust me, the temptations will be back. It is wise to use this time to become strong, so that when they come you laugh at them!

So, after nine weeks of battle, here are the things i have fallen into a habit of doing (when i stop any one of these things, i sin again…Jesus knows exactly what we need to advance spiritually): (the less spiritual advice is near the bottom)

  1. Pray. Constantly. As much as you can think about it. Even to the extent where you feel stupid, keep it in your heart, and you will keep Jesus in your heart. Rosary, Divine Mercy, scripture, wtv you like. Or even a tiny prayer, wtv gets you going.

  2. Confession. As soon as you fall, go right away. Or as soon as possible. Infinite mercy awaits us in the confessional, even if you feel like an idiot, or a parrot saying the same thing over again. It is part of the battle…you fall, you confess it, and you get right back on the front line. Marines do the same thing over and over in their training, as should we in our spiritual training. Even if you have no mortal sins, go to confession at least once a week. That is my plan, and it works. There is plenty to confess when you think about it,and when you dont have mortal sins to block your conscience out.

  3. Fasting. This one is tough, mainly because i am at school 14 hours a day. I do partial fasts (sun up to sun down) and it is a little rough. If you have never fasted, try it. At first, it was useful because instead of thinking of girls (or men) you think about how hungry you are…and eventually you realise how delicate life is and how much Christ provides, and you pray more. Also fasting is a sort of penance, good to do if you cant make it to confession right away along with an act of contrition. Sex and eating are closely linked, if you can control when you eat you can control other parts of your body. Put the sexual-monster in it’s cage and show it who is boss!

  4. Blessed sacrament time/eucharist as often as possible: I visit every day. I can’t receive yet (let’s go easter 2008!), but just go to the Blessed Sacrament for 15-20 minutes at least, ask for the strength to remain in a state of grace.

Alright, that’s enough for the spiritual warfare stuff. Now the computer stuff. For me, beating sexual temptation without visual stimulus wasn’t so bad. After 2 or 3 failures you learn how to control your thoughts. The danger of porn is that it just circumvents your natural thought defenses and immediately activates a chemical reaction in your body (1/2 addiction reaction, and 1/2 sexual chemistry i guess) It feels like a wave… And then you’re toast. No matter how disciplined your mind is, if even one tiny pic creeps in you’re done for.

So, turn all the safe searches to maximum. Get a site blocker if you can. Have your account black listed at any pay-sites if you were a member in the past. Even if you don’t intend to go, cancel all your memberships. Tear up all your magazines. Even if you tell yourself you will never go again, you will. Make it so that if you try, you won’t be able to. And by that time, your rational brain will take over, you will have clicked the big X at the top right.

When i am alone late at night on the computer, i put my rosary around my neck. It is long enough to reach to my belt line, so that’s the last line of defense ( a good strong reminder) should i fall. I wore an elastic on my wrist for a week or so and everytime i thought of looking at porn, SNAP!

The best is a good Jesus background (or a background of someone you love dearly), i have the divine mercy image as my b/g. As soon as you feel the urge for some porn, hit ALT + F4 (close window) right away! And boom, there’s Jesus right there ready to give you mercies. Or in the case of a person you love deeply, while looking at the picture imagine them standing right there with you. What would they think? how would they feel? Pray a little bit.

Now, i notice you say you’re not a religious person. No worries, porn is still dangerous and disgusting from the secular standpoint. I know what i’m talking about, i was there for 8 years. I am going to be completely honest, I tried to stop, cut down, for so many years. It was only with my discovery of Jesus Christ when i started to make headway.

I pray for people addicted to sexual sin every night, and have included you in my prayers tonight. Get away from the computer, once you are done what you need to get done, go read a book (the bible maybe?? :smiley: no worries)

PM me if you need moral support or anything, I’m goign through this right now, and am more than willing to share my insights.

Good luck, and don’t give up the battle. This can be done.


#10

Wonderful advice! there is alot of stuff there, thanks for taking the time, i’m definitely going to use most of that!

especially the praying, i always used to pray alot when i was younger in secret (my family aren’t religious)- utilising the bible- i’ve neglected that lately, and the computer background idea is brilliant! and i actually used to wear a cross around my neck for the same purpose, it was made out of metal, but one day i dropped it and it broke and i got freaked out that maybe i shouldn’t have been relying on it and thought maybe it meant i had been doing wrong.

I was actually inquiring into religion the other day, my family are not religious so i didn’t get very good reception. The other thing is i think the nearest catholic church to me is in the capital, so i guess that is why there are not many catholics i know of. There are actually three chapels/churches within a mile (or less of me). I’m not sure what they are exactly, one is a baptist chapel, another one is of the “church of Wales” religion, whatever that suppose to mean? i suppose it is like the church of England


#11

Welcome to the Church and to CAF!

My, my, the parish pharmacist? Yikes! That puts you in a very unique position, huh? I don’t think I’d want to know that much about my fellow parishioners!

I can’t speak to the issue of large Catholic families in the whole of the US but in my diocese we do have a pretty respectable representation of “be fruitful and multiply”. Here on CAF you will make many friends who have large families and homeschool.

God bless you for your service.


#12

Oh boy… I can only imagine what it must feel like when you see everyone lining up for communion. When i know people have definitely sinned and they don’t go to confession it saddens me greatly. I will include you and your parish in my prayers tonight,

-revelations


#13

That’s alright! I pray in secret too. The only time i get peace at home is after 11, so that’s when all the magic happens!

When you wear the cross it is a reminder that Jesus Christ died for every pitiful thing we have ever done. He did this to save us. Even if it was just to save one person, you or me, he would have done it all over again. So it’s not relying on the jewelry, but on the powerful reminder :smiley:

I was actually inquiring into religion the other day, my family are not religious so i didn’t get very good reception.

Religion is a super touchy subject these days. No one wants to talk about God at all. It makes me sad, but that’s the way she goes. I would say keep it to yourself.

Can you drive? There must be a catholic church near you somewhere. Always remember, the journey is yours alone, and I pray that you find your home in Jesus Christ’s church.

Good luck, and remember, Jesus is always there for you,

-revelations


#14

:slight_smile: this is all to a familar subject for me.i try to think of the object of the desire as who are they? they are my sister in Jesus. one way i thought of, being a dad of a 13 old girl is that person is some one’s daughter would i like it it if some one else had these thoughts of my precious daughter. no i wouldn’t so why should i think of these thing of some one eles’s daughter.it all helps but the Holy Spirit through the gift of reconcillation has freed me of this trap…something i never want to fall into again.


#15

this is going quite well, but i’m concerned that it is going too well, what if i lose all sexual desire? i haven’t been tempted at all lately, should i be concerned? this is healthy, isn’t it?

does anybody else have this concern or ever had this concern?


#16

Well…don’t worry…it’s not gone anywhere. It’ll come back.

It’s not that you lost it, its just that you have it under control right now.


#17

I agree with what you are saying, except on one point–Jesus does not ‘tempt’ us (bolded above in your quote)…we are sometimes *tested *by God, to strengthen our faith…but God never ‘tempts’ us. We are tempted however by the devil. Just wanted to make that point.


#18

xxxchurch.com/
they have a free accountablity software. (bottom of page in teal when the new page opens you’ll want the x3watch FREE bottom of left side) you’ll need two emails… yours and a partners (you can use another one of your emails if you don’t want anyone else involved) it is a good program. i have it on our comp for our teens… so far so good :slight_smile: and i have caught boy once!
also, have a picture of Jesus or Mary or a saint on your comp… and a prayer as the scrolling background. It WILL work.
pray constantly, even quick prayers of "Jesus help me!"
I don’t know if you’re Catholic or not, but if you are, you should go to confession for even the thoughts! All the greatest of saints went to confession DAILY and confessed thoughts. if you think of a hamburger long enough… you’ll end up eating one. same is true for porn.
You’ll be in my prayers. God Bless You


#19

Don’t worry you wont lose desire even if you keep them in check for years. That could be good news or bad news but that is the way it is, some people say you lose sexual desire a few minutes after you die.
So you could be 65 and in good health you will still have it.

Take it a day at a time and before you know it you will have it all under control. Think about it a day at a time and it is much much easier. Think about your lifetime and then you will just discourage yourself.

Plenty of people control their desires it just takes some discipline and perseverence. On the practical side you never have to be ashamed about anyone looking at your computer or stuff.

God Bless
Scylla


#20

I think of it like an untrained dog…running around all over the place with its tongue hanging out barking like an idiot at anything that comes its way.

And then one day, the master wakes up finally, beats it with a newspaper, and puts it back in its cage. And then the animal learns it can only come out when I allow it to.

It is very possible to live chastely, don’t give in to this idea that we are like monkeys and we can’t control ourselves, we can. I am. If I can do it, you can do it!


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