Okay, I’m so embarrassed to be posting this. But I’m really needing some help here. My husband is a wonderful man. I really have a blessing and I know it. He takes care of me day in and day out, year in and year out with my various physical and mental health issues. He is always trying to make me happy and do things I like to do to cheer me up. He prays daily with me and attends Mass with me each week (even though he’s not Catholic.) He’s great with children and will make an excellent father (if we are ever blessed!) We still go on dates and our marriage bed is still, um, shall I say very alive and well…several times a week…and some weeks daily… We really have a good marriage. His only real “fault” is that he’s not Catholic.
Let me just say that I TRIED to find a good Catholic man, but none of them ever really liked me for long. The ones who did like me, were seminarians (no wasn’t dating them, just friends) and so I just backed away from the situation so I didn’t tempt them out of a vocation. The one Catholic man I ended up hanging out with the most ended up marrying another Catholic girl. After that I only met lapsed and fallen away Catholics and while I did try to date one I realized it wasn’t for me. So when I met my practicing Protestant husband, who was so loving and gentle and kind to me and acceptant of all my health issues and willing to care for me when I was sick. I fell in love and the rest is History. Through our whole marriage prep I had this nagging feeling that I should be waiting for a good Catholic, but the priest was very accepting of my DH, and he’s everything I wanted in a husband and future father of our children.
But now those nagging feelings are back. I find myself flirting with temptation, but I don’t see it as temptation. I see it as doing God’s will. :eek: “God would have been happier if I married a Catholic man.” “God would want you to get an annulment and find a good Catholic man.” At Church it is the worst. My eyes wander, looking at the single Catholic men, thinking “God would have been so much more pleased with me if I had chosen on of them.” I could slap myself I feel so guilty.
Then it doesn’t help that we can’t have children biological or adopted. Sometimes I see this as an extra confirmation that God isn’t happy with our marriage and wants me to leave.
Please help me get rid of these nagging thoughts and feelings. I don’t see how God could want me to get a divorce just so I am paired up with a Catholic, and neither does anyone around me. But these nagging thoughts are so powerful and I feel they are from God. I get so confused. I just want these thoughts/feelings to go away. Any advice on HOW? :o