Fighting the Battle Alone


#1

This will be my last post on CAF as I now realize I have to fight my battle alone.

I went to confession and told the priest that I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. We talked for about 45 minutes (I felt bad for other people waiting in line.) He gave me his personal experience and words of wisdom. I am very appreciative of his effort, but everything he said was all the same stuff I’ve heard. I came out of the confessional with no more faith than I did going in.

At a recent meeting at work, we had an icebreaker activity in which everybody in the room would write on a piece of paper 2 things that were important to them in life. I was shocked when I couldn’t even come up with one. Not one single lousy thing.

I’ve tried to find God and follow who I thought he was. All I have to show for it is a life in which not one damn thing is important to me.

I’ve read a lot, asked lots of questions, and listened to lots of people. But no matter how much I do, I get nowhere. Now I have to figure this out alone. Hopefully if I just hash things out one-on-one with God, we can sort things out.

Thank you all who have tried to help me. If God exists, I’m sure he will reward you for your efforts.

God bless.


#2

Definitely hash things out one-on-one with God.

And you’re right, it is a battle … a spiritual one.

I could tell you quite a bit about another spiritual battle that’s been occurring this week. It’s been exhausting, but now there are signs of hope.

Please when you hash things out with God, put in a good word for me … and I’ll do the same for you. That way the battle doesn’t have to be fought so alone.

And it does make a difference. I have a new friend who could tell you the same.

~~ the phoenix


#3

Good luck, partner. In time, God will lead you back. He’s always there, inviting us back into His fold. Remember – the World of Man is an illusion. Yes…it’s important in many ways, but not our ultimate destiny or purpose. In Christ, we know who were are, *why *we exist, what to do, and where we’re going. :thumbsup:


#4

On some level…I can relate to what your are thinking and feeling. I myself went through a significant period of what could probably be considered “lack of belief”… Mine was prompted by my experiences in war. I spent two and a half years in Vietnam witnessing the death, damages, and all the rest that war causes. It is demoralizing to say the least. It caused me deep pain and doubt. It took me some time to overcome this. I will remember you in my prayers and thoughts… Just please don’t close your heart to God…

Peace!


#5

The temptation to unbelief must be a terrible one for you. I’ve always had the gift of faith. I’ve been very blessed in this regard even to the point of not needing private revelation to believe. However, some people do struggle really hard with belief. My prayers go out to you. That sounds like a real painful cross.


#6

A poet once said something like, “There is more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds.”


#7

Hi Awake,

By what you can see from the posts you have received… you will not be alone and there will be others praying for you.

May I only suggest another praying partner? If you are having trouble connecting with God… Have you tried talking to His Mother?
I do not know what your Marian Devotion might be… but at the point of spiritual dryness that you find yourself in, what have you got to lose?

Go outside one evening, look up to Heaven and invoke Her. Challenge Her, tell her your problem. And then… Wait!
Remember, that Jesus gave Her to us as a Mother from the Cross, so She is your Mother. A mother who herself suffered tremendously and who understands human suffering. You will not be disapponted!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_zp78xs6Kqpw/R34ogSohBOI/AAAAAAAACUg/EyMvU8VOpE8/s1600/medallamila.jpg
I will also pray for you.

To Jesus through Mary :thumbsup:

Edward Henry


#8

Hello,

I think this will help you. Please read with an open mind. I know it’s hard to when you feel so discouraged, but try nonetheless.

You have to first choose to believe. It all starts with “the will” not with feelings or inclinations. The feelings will follow.
The most difficult journey is the journey from the mind to the heart.

And persevere at choosing. Every time you have a thought of doubt, turn your mind to one of belief. It wont seem like its working at first, but it will eventually start to.God honors the effort, and He will do the rest.

Also, there is nothing wrong with asking God to “prove himself” to you in a personal way. But at the same time, make sure that youre praying that you will have an open heart to fully accept him and what he is saying to you.

Lastly, immerse yourself in the Bible. It claims to have the power to transform, and it is God’s Word, so it does. In Isaiah 55, God is saying his word will not return empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which he sent it. That purpose is to transform our minds and hearts so that we believe and are conformed, over time, to the likeness of Jesus.

You probably want to get this process and doubting and difficulty over as quickly as possible. Just keep asking for God to give you grace and to show himself.

Remember - all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed! Thats what Jesus said. Mustard seeds are incredibly small - go see what they look like at the grocery store. And all you need is one, and God will help grow your faith

Other recommended reading:

Praying God’s Word, by Beth Moore


#9

Nature,wildlife,the sun and moon and stars.All these things remind me that there must be someone or something bigger than all this.What a wonderful God who created that little toad hopping across my garden path…the hummingbird on the honeysuckle vine…that goofy chipmunk over there…

Is there something… anything that makes you smile…even just a little bit??


closed #10

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