Figuring this out


I’m 21 years old and although I have lived an active homosexual lifestyle, I regret every moment of it. The lust, the love, and the pain/sin… all of it… I am now living a chaste life the best I can and holding on to the arm of the Blessed Virgin Mary…

Every day I try to grow closer to God… And allow myself to bask in His presence, but the struggle still continues and I feel helpless.

(St. Jude, pray for me. St. Michael, stand beside me.)

It just seems like my attraction for men does not stop. I am no better than anyone else, and this may just be my cross that I am destined to bear.

As bad as it sounds, I have dated girls in the past to get my family off my back and truly fell in love with about 3 of those girls. Sexual attraction? Wasn’t there but was willing to maintain chaste till after marriage with those girls… Something I’ve never felt toward a man.

However, I have always desired to have a family (heterosexual marriage and kids) but it appears as if my sexual attraction prevents the hope of ever having that.

All I know to do is devote myself to God and let Him guide me through His Holy Spirit… but as for ever hoping to figure this out… I need your advice and help.

Thanks everyone…


I just want to give you a great big ole hug.

I don’t think your life will ever be “easy” no matter which way you go. Married, not married, chaste, etc. However, and I mean this with all of my heart: happiness is yours to discern. In the great gift of “free will” that God has given us: you can choose to be happy, or at the least – optimistic. However, your struggles with SSA will be a long, hard road. I’ll pray for you.

I am happy to welcome you to our church. Also to our board. I have read some of your previous posts (there has been some issues of sincerity in posts lately) and it’s wonderful to see you akin to St. Jude and St. Michael. I wish you the very best.

We’re here for you! Our (DH and I) prayers are with you.:signofcross:


Have you visited the Courage web site?


Please contact the people at Courage.

God bless you for recognizing God’s plan for sexuality and striving to live a chaste life and a life of holiness.


Just to let you know, this is Brian Stacy. I changed my name on CA.

Thanks for your encouraging words…

Had it not been for St. Jude being the patron of hopeless cases, I would’ve been finished a long time ago… St. Michael aids me in battle when I need strength or cannot fight on my own. I thank the Lord that these two saints were introduced to me.

The Blessed Mother and Her Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ, have blessed me even when I strayed far from God’s embrace… They kept me safe when I was in danger and they still do. I am forever indebted to Their Sacred and Immaculate Hearts.

After my conversion, I’ll know I’m home… but even now, I already am home… in the loving arms of My Mother and in the presence of the Holy Trinity. No doubt about that.

To be honest, when you pray… pray for my strength that I may carry this cross until the Lord frees me of it. I want to embrace all of my Jesus in this battle, nothing less… everything more!


Brian- your dilemna is not unique to homosexuals. Everyone has temptations of the flesh, keep praying and do the best you can.:thumbsup:


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