I’m 21 years old and although I have lived an active homosexual lifestyle, I regret every moment of it. The lust, the love, and the pain/sin… all of it… I am now living a chaste life the best I can and holding on to the arm of the Blessed Virgin Mary…
Every day I try to grow closer to God… And allow myself to bask in His presence, but the struggle still continues and I feel helpless.
(St. Jude, pray for me. St. Michael, stand beside me.)
It just seems like my attraction for men does not stop. I am no better than anyone else, and this may just be my cross that I am destined to bear.
As bad as it sounds, I have dated girls in the past to get my family off my back and truly fell in love with about 3 of those girls. Sexual attraction? Wasn’t there but was willing to maintain chaste till after marriage with those girls… Something I’ve never felt toward a man.
However, I have always desired to have a family (heterosexual marriage and kids) but it appears as if my sexual attraction prevents the hope of ever having that.
All I know to do is devote myself to God and let Him guide me through His Holy Spirit… but as for ever hoping to figure this out… I need your advice and help.