Finally told my parents I'm going to Catholic Mass

My parents are sola scriptura Protestants of the evangelical persuasion.

Today, I told them I’ve been attending Catholic Mass since July and that I believe the Catholic Church is the Church established by Christ Himself.

In response, I was told:

  • The Catholic Church started off right but is now heretical.
  • Mary is worshipped.
  • The Catholic Church changed the Ten Commandments.
  • The Catholic Church added books to the Bible.
  • The Pope claims to be Christ’s representative.
  • Nothing outside of Scripture should be believed. (Good thing I didn’t mention private revelations.)
  • That the Real Presence of the Eucharist is just a matter of faith, so whether or not they believed that in the beginning is not relevant.
  • God gave us freedom after resurrection of Christ, so no need to “nitpick” on details.
  • All you need to do is belief in Jesus to be saved, so why am I complicating things?
  • And finally, that I’m disturbing the peace of the family by not following the church that I grew up with and that I’m causing my mother grief.
  • (Plus other things I can’t remember at the moment…they brought up the 15-7th century corruption of the Church (e.g., indulgences) and the Inquisition and killing of heretics…which I stated that impeccability is not infallibility as guided by the Holy Spirit)

I tried my best to counter all the arguments, as I’ve heard most of these before, but they don’t seem to listen (or want to listen). They are convinced they are right. They asked me why I decided to convert and told them I felt led by the Holy Spirit after reading written accounts and inspired writings. They balked that the Holy Spirit would cause disturbance within the family.

They forbade me from going to Church/Mass. (I don’t live with them — only visiting for the week, so in practice, they can’t really forbid me.)

On the one hand, I have to follow what I believe to be the Church established by Christ. On the other hand, my parents are getting old and not of the best health — I feel bad causing grief and pain. They seem to take this very personally. I was close to telling them I have to follow Jesus even at the expense of parents (per Jesus’ commandment), but I refrained as I thought they would break out in tears and be broken.

Please pray for me that I remain constant in my faith and that one day, they may open their eyes and accept the faith of the Church. I tried to explain to them that I find fuller richness of truth in the Catholic Church from the unbroken 2000 year lineage. But then we’re back to the “They were right in the beginning, but they are corrupt and heretical now” spiel.

I envy you cradle Catholics born into the faith…:slight_smile:

God Bless your heart!!! Anyways there are so many issues to tackle with but I will just touch one thing here that your parents have told you that we worship Mother Mary?This is specifically and categorically wrong though. We don’t worship Mama Mary but we venerate Her only. She being the Mother of our Lord Jesus Christ our Savior should ought to be respected and venerated in the same manner that we also respect your mother. Nobody loves Mama Mary as profound and steadfast as what Jesus Christ showered her. If Jesus Christ loves Her so much then who are we not to love Her and honor Her? If I may add when they said that the Holy Spirit would cause disturbance to your family? Oh my. oh my, God forbid, please tell them not to say anything bad to the Holy Spirit no more for they don’t know what they are talking about. Anybody who says not nice to the Holy Spirit is doomed.

I will pray for your new found faith and please be committed till the end as you are on the right track. Please pray the Holy Rosary as a sign of veneration to our Beloved Mama Mary and please add the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, for these prayers are very powerful. You will see heap changes in your life and be filled with Holy Spirit!!!. You can find these prayers when you google them but if you want to get hold of these two prayers Please tell me so and don’t be shy in admitting and telling me so I can send these to you as my gift to you as we welcome you here in your journey home which is a Catholic Church. I just came from a Pilgrimage Tour in Europe last September and I brought a lot for evangelization. You can use P.O. Box as your address to receive them. Heaven is celebrating now because of this big move of yours. Alleluia!!!

malou - Indeed, the only hope for those who in effect speak against the Holy Spirit is that they do it in true ignorance - since Jesus Himself appealed from the cross, 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do!"

Don’t do that! We converts tend to value our faith more than most cradle Catholics, and we tend to be more “orthodox”. (of course, there are some cradle Catholics who are very fervent and very orthodox, and could be envied :slight_smile: ).

As you spend time in the Catholic Church you will be surprised by the number of people you meet who you assume to be cradle Catholics only to discover that they are converts.

I will pray for you and your family.

Keep your chin up. You are getting a pretty typical response. Hopefully they will get used to the idea. Just be patient and don’t bring up the topic yourself. If they see you happy that should at least reconcile them to your decision. My Mother went through the same problem. I don’t think her parents ever really reconciled themselves to the idea. But there may have been other issues because one of her brothers also converted and he was most cherished by her parents and loved by all the family. So it didn’t seem to matter in his case.



I am sorry that you are experiencing disunity in the family and a “wall” against Catholicism. It may be a long time before your parents are ready to listen; maybe they are a little shocked right now. Keep studying the faith and growing close to the Eucharist and the Mother of God and try to be very patient and peaceful about it…

Wonderful EIF. Sorry if I’m not following previous posts but are you in RCIA? Their reaction is not surprising, in fact I’d say for many in a similar situation it would be expected. This will likely be cross that you will have to bear and IMHO, the best thing that you can do is be a witness to the faith. If you can show them where they error in their thinking, over time they may come to the point of understanding that you are following your conscious and they may come to have a level of respect for that. You may drop a few seeds along the way but conversion is the work of the Holy Spirit and I would not expect that to happen. My wife PIE converted many years ago and frankly, her father (and mother now deceased) respects her decision but would never consider joining the Catholic Church, no matter what she and I would ever say. He’s a great Christian although he’s missing the fullness of truth and participation in the seven sacraments. But I believe fully that someday he’ll be with The Lord.

Note, in discussing faith, if and when you do, I would make it a point to stick to one or two topics per conversation. Better to explore a couple points more fully than fifteen with little depth. Save a topics three and four for the next time… and so on. But do ask them how do they know that the bible is inspired and inerrant…at the right moment in time.


God Bless you and your family. Surely this is a trying and difficult time. Praise God for your strength and courage to share this with your family.

Just briefly - this caught my attention…

I tried my best to counter all the arguments, as I’ve heard most of these before, but they don’t seem to listen (or want to listen). They are convinced they are right. They asked me why I decided to convert and told them I felt led by the Holy Spirit after reading written accounts and inspired writings. They balked that the Holy Spirit would cause disturbance within the family.

The simple reply to this comes from Jesus Himself…
51 Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division; 52 for henceforth in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three; 53 they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against her mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." (Luke 12)

I’m sure that you and your family will be having more conversations on these matters and I pray that the Holy Spirit continue to guide you. I am certain that, as your family sees you grow in faith and agape, your example and calm explanations will soften their hearts.


I would ask them if they know the meaning of Matthew 10:34-36 and if they believe it applies to your situation.

I’m happy for you and would be more than proud if a child of mine became a devout Catholic. You believe you have found the truth and your parents need to know that, they also need to realize that your new found truth is causing Matthew 10:34 to take place and it’s not worth it.

Good luck, and you’re in my prayers.

Wow, that’s a tough one. I usually have strong opinions about defending the Catholic Faith, but at the same time, I have compassion for those who may have problems with friends and family who just don’t approve of why someone would accept being Catholic.

I would say continue the dialogue. If the tone is respectful, no walls of resentment will damage your relationship. Even if you were a cradle Catholic, the learning never ends, the thirst for knowledge and Truth does not end. I constantly ask questions even though i was born into the faith. I ask critical questions as well, questions a non-Catholic would ask, just to be objective.

I’m constantly discussing my faith with my Protestant friends. Our debates get so heated, we get up in each others faces. At the end of the day, I just think about their love for Christ, and we share an embrace.

You have an advantage in reaching non-Catholics. Catholicism is all I’ve ever known. You can relate to being a Protestant in a way I never could. My Protestant buddies would probably listen to you even if you and I said the same exact thing. Don’t envy the cradle Catholic, think about how much you’re bringing to the Catholic faith in this call for evangilization by Holy Father, it’s a tremendous blessing.

My respect for your search in the Truth, the blessings to your entire family that they somehow understand your love for Christ and the call from the Holy Spirit is what this calling is all about.

Hey, I’ve been where you are now, just about four years ago!

All I can say is that eventually things will settle down.

Show your parents that you love the Lord, and that you are following Him with all your heart.

Eventually things will cool down.

My dad is a hardcore Calvinist and a pastor so as you can imagine he’s still not too crazy about the idea of me being Catholic but even now while we still have discussions from time to time he is not as emotional about it as he used to be.

I imagine the same will be true with you and your family.

That is amazing, they recognize the Catholic Church was founded by Jesus and yet they claim it is heretical.

Jesus promised HE would protect and guide HIS Church until the end of the world.
This is scriptural.
Yes there have been as there are many groups that have fallen to heresy down through the ages but the core of the Church is protected by Jesus.

I would also like to say something with regard to Mary. She is the mother of Jesus our Lord.

Jesus is perfect in every aspect never having sinned and we recognize him as God.
Of course I would never claim HE loves any one differently, but she IS HIS mother. He own her respect as it is written in the Bible on the 10 commandments. Honor your mother and father. His father is GOD but His mother is Mary.

If Jesus claimed us as His brothers don’t we owe His mother the same love and respect HE gives her?

Ponder this. NO worship which is something we can only give to GOD.

:thumbsup: :extrahappy:

Here’s a bit of help with rebuttals.

  • Mary is worshipped.

Maybe in an older definition of the word :shrug: At least in the Catholic view of things, we place an emphasis on God being the God of the living, not of the dead. So the saints in Heaven are actually more alive than we are here. And with that and the communion of saints, praying to the saints in Heaven is no different than asking your friend to pray for you.

  • The Catholic Church changed the Ten Commandments.

In short, there are 14 imperative statements in that part of the Bible. Catholicism and Lutheranism group them differently than Eastern Orthodox churches and most Protestants, who group them differently than Judaism. In Catholic/Lutheran/Jewish theology, “no false gods” and “no idols” are the same commandment. It’s just that the shortened, easy-to-remember form used for catechesis is “No false gods” (with a condemnation of idolatry implied).

  • The Catholic Church added books to the Bible.

In the very beginning of the Church, different regional churches had different Biblical canons. Then in the 300s at the Council of Carthage, a Biblical canon was decided on– that which Catholics still use today. Later, during the Protestant Reformation, Luther removed deuterocanon from Scripture, and tried to remove some books from the New Testament as well. (Notably, though, he just didn’t consider them inspired. He still thought they were worth reading. It was only later reformers who stopped reading them completely)

Also, it’s a shame (in my opinion) that a lot of Protestants don’t read deuterocanon/the Apocrypha. The Song of the Three Children (Dan 3) and Tobit are two of my favorite parts of the Bible.

  • Nothing outside of Scripture should be believed. (Good thing I didn’t mention private revelations.)

Okay. No Bible for them, then. Nowhere in the Bible does it say “These 66 books make up the Bible, but most certainly not Tobit, Judith, Baruch, Wisdom, Sirach, either book of Maccabees, these parts of Esther, or these parts of Daniel.” The Bible itself in extrabiblical.

Not to mention the various BIble verses supporting Tradition. Or the fact that a lot of words we use aren’t in the Bible. For instance, nowhere is the word Trinity used in all 73 books.

  • That the Real Presence of the Eucharist is just a matter of faith, so whether or not they believed that in the beginning is not relevant.

“This is my body which will be given up for you.” I think Jesus made himself fairly clear.

  • All you need to do is belief in Jesus to be saved, so why am I complicating things?

“Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord’ shall enter the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven.” (Mt 7:21)

“So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead.” (Jas 2:17)

To get into Heaven, yes, we need to believe in Jesus. But works are a necessary part of that faith. We aren’t saved until we reach Heaven (or technically Purgatory, but that’s another matter). Until then, we can lose our place in Heaven if we commit mortal sins. (But, of course, God is a God of mercy, and is always willing to forgive)

I envy you cradle Catholics born into the faith…:slight_smile:

:shrug: It’s not that great if you weren’t catechized very well growing up. I only started going to Mass of Holy Days of Obligation (besides Sundays and Christmas) last year, for instance. I’m also still getting used to this concept of not receiving Communion if I’m not in a state of grace.

You have come to the right place for apologetics, defending the faith.

I’d encourage you to learn apologetics so that you can better defend the Catholic faith. A lot of places give them away, or sell them. Here’s an example of a free one you can print up, use as a reference, and quote scripture passages back to people.

Also see:

Oh, and congratulations on standing up for the faith. That’s inspiring.


My congratulations!!! Stand firm with your faith!

I guess I need to stop before I send and think, because I often forget things. I forgot the prayer! (I also sometimes leave the house and have to come back for something I forgot. Hope I’m not coming down with dementia which runs in my family!)

Oh, I see you are under constant attack. I would encourage you to seek out support on the forum and from your Church. You sound like you are out numbered and will be in need of help. Surely the RCIA members have many similar experiences, and they might have other ideas the rest of us might not consider. Or, you could find comfort in knowing you are not alone!

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Let me Tell you something, don’t think is going to be easy, I lost my family, i was a light catholic, my women a protestant, now when i decide to get back to my church the right way,m thinks change dramatically, since then things for me are worst, I’m about to lost my job(i work with her), My car is going to broke at any moment, My and my daughter move with my ex brother in law, But at the other hand I Have Jesus, I have Mamita Mary, and sure i follow the right path, God is showing me in a lot ways, how wrong some “Jesus Followers” are… hate and arrogance is not a Christian attitude, I hope is different with you Brother, because for me is not … But I trust things will be better.

It’s unfortunate that people think like that but we have an answer to each of their reasons and we have the right one. God willing everything goes well for you

My heart pours out in prayer for you. It is understandable to not want to upset our parents, especially as they age and we children have a fuller understanding of how much they have sacrificed for our well being. But please don’t allow something holy–the love of your parents–to pull you away from the holiest of all things, love for the Church. The two can be congruent together, even if your parents are upset with your decision. Continue to love them, continue to visit and be the best son or daughter you can be, continue to pray pray pray for them, and continue your journey to the Church. :thumbsup:

Many cradle Catholics born into the faith lack what a convert has: the desire to learn. Faith can be taken for granted. Many of our brothers and sisters in the Church don’t know what they believe and attend Mass to fulfill some sort of time-card obligation with no depth to their understanding of the Mystery. Converts, on the other hand, have a fire in their belly and a desire to learn all of this. You’re in a pretty special spot, if you think about it. :slight_smile: My prayers are with you!

Your parents should understand that you are not rejecting all you learned in your old church: you learned about the Creator, you learned about Christ, you no doubt had the examples of good people in your life showing you how to love others. I am a convert and I still find a lot to love and admire in the denomination I was raised in*.

(* Like the total lack of guitar music. Ha ha. Just kidding!)

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