Hi, looking for advice on financial / spiritual question please. Briefly - I re-converted in the last few years and have changed my very very sinful ways totally, to the point of suffering from scruples in fact. My husband met me while I was neck-deep in sin ten years ago, and so the "new" me over the past few years has been very difficult for him, I understand why however, because he saw the before and after.
Anyway, his current financial practices are the problem for me now. We are broke, and living on benefits and a measly income he gets legitimately from farming. His business ceased trading last year due to the recession, and so we are scraping by on these 2 sources of income. Any extra income we make would immediately cancel our benefits, and so I told my hubbie that even though we are in difficulties I don't want him taking "cash only" jobs on the side.
We now find ourselves in dire straits. We have €500 approx to our name and at least €1500 due to come out between mortgage, bills, car tax, etc. in the coming weeks. We sat down and looked at all these figures, and I told him I wasn't worried, I trust in God, but would try and come up with a solution through prayer. He opened his wallet and showed me €2500 - undeclared earnings he had not told me about that he has made over the past few months - "because he knew I'd be mad".
This argument has surfaced before between us about a year ago and I told him I would cancel our social benefits, I made the calls and everything, if he continued taking what are effectively illicit earnings on top of our benefits. His response - he would divorce me if I cancelled our benefits. By the way, in the past I never saw the cash from these jobs because he invested it straight into farming.
So now it looks like I have no argument to stop him putting the money into our mortgage account before we go into arrears or using the money to put food on the table - I have no choice if he threatens divorce as the alternative, our children would be destroyed , they are so innocent. Plus I love him.
Add to that, I'm doing a Catholic theology course part time, the next instalment is due on Friday - I have no money and cannot justify using his ill gotten gains to pay my course. Defeats the whole purpose no? I've already decided on this I won't use his money.
Advice? Similar experiences? I'm praying, but not sure how to proceed to be honest.