To all - thank you everyone for the messages of Good luck. I don’t know how exactly to ask him what he would think about it… how do I pick the right moment? How do I phrase it? This is so hard. even without the celibacy part itself. I’m now going to respond to everyone’s post, I do repeat myself a bit but I wanted to treat each response as individual so people don’t have to read multiple responses -
JohnDamian - My contraceptive implant is not an abortive one. It stops an egg from being released in the first place, decreases the thickness of the womb and increases the amount of mucus at the cervix. It’s more than 99.9% effective, and in me I no longer have periods which was surprising (although normal with this implant) and it has improved my health. I also think your advice is good, thank you It is true - he needs to accept me for who I am.
icedtea - I’ll have a look at the secondary virginity websites, thanks for directing me Although I find the idea of it really odd, it might be a value source of information. I have spoke to him about marriage in a Catholic church and he objected - saying that he would feel dishonest about making promises to a God which he does not believe exists - so he is honest to me in our relationship at least. This is all very new to him, within a space of a week and a bit I have told him I want to go to a Catholic church, and talked about some of the new rules so it is a shock. I love him so much though.
bkayw - I’m not living with him. We do spare a bed sometimes, although we hardly ever have sexual intercourse. Sharing a bed is mainly practical - we are both student nurses, and where he lives is a 45 minute drive away from his current hospital ward. I live only 5 minutes away from the hospital, so staying at mine occasionally means he gets an extra hour’s sleep. In reference to your second post - His reasons for being anti-religious I don’t want to discuss online but bad things happened which convinces them that if a God existed he wouldn’t let such evil in the world. The recent scandal in the Catholic church has re-asserted this view in him and he’s extremely distrustful. His brother is homosexual which adds to his distrust of religion because he thinks they should be able to get married in a church.
catherine126 - I’m going to mention it to the RCIA co-ordinator lady when I see her next week as a potential difficulty I’m having. I want to change to become closer to God, and I want him to change because I know that, unknowingly, he is looking for God. He had a really traumatic childhood which made him believe that there isn’t a God, and he seems to be avoiding the subject with me. Most atheists I know are all to happy to have a friendly debate, but he won’t even talk to me about it. I think there is some tiny part of him who believes (he doesn’t want to make marriage vows to a God he doesn’t believe in because he doesn’t want to be dishonest) otherwise he would feel comfortable talking about this with me I think.
Catholic1954 - It doesn’t sound like someone who I want to be with. I hope he was joking, he didn’t realise they were rosary beads though - he thought it was a normal necklace. I might explain the significance of them to him and try and teach him about Catholicism without teaching him, if that makes sense. Maybe through knowledge he might be more understanding, he really knows nothing about religion he has never been exposed to it in his life, ever.
joandarc2008 - Actually it can be a Sacremental if you get special dispensation from the Bishop, if I remember correctly. That sounds like a lot of fuss though. My contraceptive doesn’t have abortive effects because it stops an egg from being released in the first place. I hope he respects me for it too.
zz912 - I think he’s concerned that our physical relationship will come to a complete end. No hugging, etc. He did mention whether or not I’m going to be celibate now in a sarcastic tone which did offend me because I was considoring it.
BrokenFortress - It’s not an abortive one, don’t worry lol
faithfully - He’s said he doesn’t want his children being brought up within a religion because he believes that they should have the choice. I recently read a really interesting argument for the christening of children - the child cannot pick their name and biological family and nationality, so why should their faith be any different? It all stems to his friend being baptised who is now an atheist. This friend absolutely hates the fact he was christened apparently, which I find interesting. He’s anti-religious to the point where he thinks its silly. He doesn’t know anything about religion, apart from the fact that he knows it exists that’s the extend of this knowledge. He doesn’t even know what rosary beads symbolise, he thought it was just a necklace.