I have never been married but I have engaged in pre-marital sex with my boyfriend of 10 months. Our sexual relationship began months before I started considoring joining a Church.
Now that I am on the path to converting to Catholicism, I want to begin to tone down the physical side of our relationship because I feel guilty now after any sexual contact with him. It doesn’t make me as happy as it used to - before I considored Catholicism I mean.
I want to continue to use the contraceptive implant - before having it my periods were often long and heavy (almost a full week) and painful. The reason I took the implant was because of my sexual relationship with my boyfriend; but the side-effect of no longer having periods makes me want to keep it no matter what because it’s made such a difference. Not only that, but I have a common medical condition called Irritable Bowel Syndome. Whenever it came time for my monthly cycle, the abdominal pains and IBS symptons tripled and I had to have several days off a month because of it. The contraceptive implant has solved all that and now I only get IBS symptoms when stressed or after eating certain foods.
I’m not sure how to approach my boyfriend about this issue. I am determined for our sexual relationship to begin to tone down before I am baptised into the Catholic faith (if I decide it is for me) because then I understand that any mortal sin I have committed will be washed away? Is that true? I am especially nervous about this because my boyfriend isn’t just an atheist, he’s anti-religious. As I was buying some rosary beads he mocked me for it. Not sure if he was joking or not. He tells me he thinks I am the true one for him and he wants to be with me forever, and everything is right with him - the only thing is I might be changing. I want him to change with me and understand how important this is to me… I also considor it a test of whether he really loves me for me or for my body.
On the one hand, there is that. And on the other, I still think sometimes that surely because I am in a loving, long-term relationship (and we have been discussing WHEN we’ll get engaged, not if) - how bad can the sin be? I will not leave him for this, I will only break up for him if he cannot accept me for who I am. I intend to try and bring the subject up within the next couple of weeks. I really am not sure how to go about this, please help?!