I need help…I’m not in desperate need of help (not yet) but I am in need of help none-the-less. For a long time, I have been looking at gay porn. I guess the reason why I look at it is for some form of instant pleasure. I don’t understand why I look at it though, I have a wonderful family and an awesome college that I go to, and I make the best of grades, but I am just not happy…at all… I’m not married, I’m only 19 and I want to stop looking at this gross and disgusting act, because if I ever think about getting married to a woman, I don’t want to bring her down or the kids for that fact. I just want to be a good person, and I “cold-turkeyed” myself from looking at porn once, and it only lasted 5 days and I started to get addicted to it again. I know a part of not living in sin, is to actually exercise a form of self-control, but I dunno. My question to you all is, how do or did you beat an addiction? What did you have to do in order to finally give up whatever it was that was bogging you down? I just want to know because even though it hasn’t ruined my life…eventually it’s gonna catch up to me, and it’s gonna come back 10x as worse then it would now. I just feel like ****, and I want to stop and start living a life of Christ. What do I do?:shrug:
Get away from the computer and read a spiritual book. I recommend the Autobiography of Saint Therese’ (Story of a Soul). You can find it your parish’s religious store, methinks.
Firstly, thank God for giving you the wisdom and humility to ask for help from your brothers and sisters.
If you fully understand the gravity of the sin and you do it regularly enough then it could prevent you from recieving the Eucharist on a weekly basis. It sounds odd but I would try to enlighten myself as much as possible as to why this might be a grave sin, that way, prior to recieving the Eucharist, you will require confession each time you do it. In my experience, being separated from intimacy with Christ in the Eucharist is a massive drive to exercise more self-control.
It’s not easy, but through Christ and the sacraments he offers us there is a way out of this. Regular contact with a priest for spiritual direction/confession is the most obvious lifeline that you should throw yourself at. I also echo the advice above to do some spiritual reading. Bodily mortification to remind ourselves of Christ’s suffering, simple things such as fasting (especially during lent), having more discipline in very basic things like household chores, and filling up idle time with a hobby or some other activity, will also be a massive help to dim any desire to look at pornography.
Take a look at my username and guess why I’m here.
From my experience, I try to remember Christ and just who I am whenever I feel tempted. If I can realize the values I uphold, and what God’s love is, and what kind of relationship I want with him, I can hold out. Take each day one by one; suddenly saying I’ll stop rarely/never got me/anyone else anywhere. Each night, pray to God.
If you can find out whats making you unhappy, do so. I know exactly what my problem is, and its not putting God first in my life; as a consequence, when I’m tempted, he’s not the first I turn to, and I usually fail.
Above all, try to remember that whatever you do or don’t do, God still loves you. If sin is an offense against God, think of confession as simply going and apologizing. Use it as an advantage, to work with God to help carry this cross. If you think that it will come back to haunt you, realize it will because you give it that power. Thinking that “I will fail” never helped anyone, unless they add “except that God is with me”.
Also, the reason I keep coming back here is because I see many Catholics, and I see that I can make it through if I keep pushing. Maybe looking around the site can help you?
Maybe I should take my own advice a bit more…
Pornography can be an addiction as difficult to overcome as alcoholism or drug addiction, two issues that by the grace of God and the help of specific programs I have overcome.
I am Roman Catholic and connected to recovery resources within the Church. Feel free to send me a message if I can be of assistance. I will not try to meet you or make you do anything. I am not gay.
God loves all us addicts, all the time, and never gives up on us no matter what.
Ask the Blessed Virgin Mary for help in prayer. She is God’s most pure creation. Her love for us is great. You can trust her to help with your prayers. Basically the pornography is Satan trying to get his hooks into you. To keep you from seeking holiness he is diverting your attention.
Your profile states you would like to be a saint. Mary helped St. Kolbe. St. Kolbe clearly loved God purely and devotedly.
The book Kolbe: Saint of Auschwitz is a great read and inspiration to live purely. Plus the events of his life are relatively fresh in history.
The book The Cure of Ars - The Story of Saint John Vianney is an inspirational read as well. The link below is to the book I read and there are other books about him too.
Another idea is to practice a virtue or a corporal work of mercy which causes you to step outside yourself. I take time each week to visit some elderly people in a local nursing home. Last week both Della and Billie were taking their naps when I arrived so it was a short visit. Remember that which we do for the least of His bretheren so we have done unto Him.
Currently 40 Days for Life is in operation. I am going out for an hour at noon before my work. I have not done this before, but look forward to it. Get a friend or two and sign up for an hour. Who knows maybe you will save a life? As a lifeguard I have made 20 rescues in the pool. It is a great feeling knowing some child will go home to have dinner with their family. This 40 days for life fits right in with what I do. :yyeess:
Give up the internet for Lent, but not until after you read this.
Pray a rosary :signofcross: A rosary is 20 minutes of prayer and 20 minutes not in the direction of sin.
Daily mass? Give it a try.
You know - seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness…
Just so you know all these ideas and word come from a big sinner. So I understand and am not passing any judgement.
The last thought I have is:
Do not fear God, but love Him.
Takes a big leap of courage. If you are willing God will be there
May God bless you and keep my young friend.
My dear friend
Try reading JP11’s theology of the body. It’s very good.
You can try 12 step meetings for sex addictions which would help too.
God bless you:thumbsup: