I have just been facing the end and break up of a 40-month relationship which despite aware of being living in sin, kept denying and now I am suffering difficult consequences.
Two weeks after the breakup, I am still suffering physical, emotional and spiritual pain up to an almost unbearable degree. I intended to speak to the priest from the church I go to about referring me to a spiritual director so that I could get my faith strengthened whilst undergoing such a hard period. But I have also decided to be seen by my doctor who suggested me taking antidepressant tablets.
I started taking the pills yesterday and must say that despite some light side effects, things seem less unbearable at the moment as my mind was numb because the intoxicating thoughts and now is numb because the drug.I don feel as agitated and anxious as before, feeling guilty all the timeSo on the physical/mental side it is helping me taking the drug as it has calmed me down and now I can hopefully pull myself out of depression.Nonetheless, I also know that I must speak to a spiritual director as I think I need some deep healing left by the mistake I made when I decided to maintain a sexual relationship with a man for so long aware that he was not going to marry me.
What to do now? Keep on taking the pills? Spiritual healing? Please contribute as I dont want to dig an even bigger hole to bury my already injured soul in. Thanks
Both, of course! Human beings are complicated creatures, and healing can be complicated, too. If you have clinical depression, you need to listen to your doctor regarding what to do about it- and if he says you need pills, and the pills work, you had better keep taking those pills. If you feel spiritually broken, you pray, read scripture, and you talk to your priest and spiritual director and do what they tell you. If it’s both at the same time, you need to listen to both of these people at the same time. They both ought to know what they’re doing.
There is definitely nothing wrong with taking psychiatric medication from doctors if you need that medicine to heal. Jesus wants you to take care of yourself.
I will say, you sound pretty brave! I’m glad you got out of that relationship and are taking steps towards healing. May the Lord bless you and keep you out of harm’s way. :hug1:
EDIT: Since you did mention feeling numb because of the drug, I’ll also tell you to keep an eye on side effects and tell your doctor if anything happens. If the medicine works, that is awesome. If it doesn’t, you can talk to your doctor and see if the problem can be fixed. However, it’s purely a matter of what is best for you and your brain. If you need medicine to function, you absolutely shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed about that. You’re not choosing a “quick fix”. You’re just trying to do what’s best for your body and mind.
You need to speak with the Dr. that prescribed the medicine. There isn’t any one CAF that can tell you if you should take this kind of medicine or not. Actually it is against the rules. Likewise and in addition to the priest, you should be in therapy. If you are taking any kind of psychotropic medication (depression, anxiety etc). you need to see a counselor.
First, you need to make an appointment with a priest and go to confession for spiritual healing of your soul. Then, you need to stay with your doctor and work on your emotional healing from the affair. The drugs he has prescribed are just a tool to help you cope with the loss of the relationship you had with this man and to move on with your life. Ask the priest if he can recommend a spiritual director for you (if he is not available) and work on your relationship with God; He will never leave you!
Do not doubt that the psychic injury you are suffering has a physical side to it. That would be the most natural thing in the world.
Also, keep in mind that guilt is not supposed to keep going after we have confessed a sin any more than a smoke detector is supposed to be going after the fire is put out. Guilt, like physical pain, has a purpose. Making you suffer endlessly is not it. Of course it will help to go to confession, but put your energy in doing well now, not concerning yourself with what you cannot undo. Remember that the angels rejoice more over one sinner who returns than over 99 who didn’t need to return. The Father in the Prodigal Son story would not have allowed the repentant son to refuse the party or the fine clothes or the rings on his fingers.
There’s nothing wrong with taking medication to treat a specific problem. I have generalized anxiety disorder. I take medication for it daily and I function a lot better with, rather than without, the medication. To have a psychiatric illness is NOT a sign that your faith isn’t strong enough. Whether or not the medication you are taking is the best one for you is something you will need to address with your care provider - this is beyond the scope of what we can tell you here.
However, it sounds as if you may still have some spiritual needs that are not being taken care of. Seeing a good priest and finding a spiritual director may assist you with spiritual healing. I agree with the PPs that a combination of BOTH medical and spiritual care will likely be the best for you.
There is nothing wrong with taking a medication for mental issues. Depression, anxiety, etc. are complicated, and these things can have both physical and emotional triggers and treatments. That just means that a person with these concerns needs to address all sides of the equation. There is no sense in trying to treat something with only one approach if multiple approaches are needed. Sometimes a multifaceted approach is the best!