First and last anniversary


Last Sunday was my first anniversary in the Catholic church. I was so happy. Unfortunately, it will be the last for a while. In order to keep peace in my household and eliminate the unbearable tension, I’m going to have to leave the Church.

Catholicism has given me so much Hope when I needed it the most. I love my mother, but she has made my life miserable because she feels that I am spending too much time on church activites and is gealous of the time it takes away from her. I’m not strong enough to stand up against her. I hope that I can come back in time to see my beloved grandmother in heaven someday. I’m living for that much more than any promise of eternal. Just one opportunity too see my grandmother one more time and tell her how much I love her and all that she had done for me.

God bless you all.


I’m sorry to hear the problems you are having, but I am going to strongly say, leaving the church is not the answer. You need to honour God before your mother, thats why that is the first commandment and honouring your parents is the fourth.
Please reconcider. No human should get in the way of you doing what is right.
God is the source of all good things, peace, love, strength. You need to have Him in the Eucharist to replenish your soul to 'fight the good fight’
You will have crosses, trouble and stresses but without God it makes them a hundred times harder.
Please, please do not leave the church. At least attend mass every sunday. You do not need to be involved in church activities to the point that she feels neglected. An hour a week is all God asks of us. Surely she can spare you for that.
I will pray for you.
God bless


Don’t do that please. Remember Luke 12:53 *The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against his father, the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother, the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. *

also, Matthew 10:32-35 *Every one therefore that shall confess me before men, I will also confess him before my Father who is in heaven. But he that shall deny me before men, I will also deny him before my Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. *

And, most important of all Luke 9:61-62 And another said: I will follow thee, Lord; but let me first take my leave of them that are at my house. Jesus said to him: No man putting his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

We are called by Jesus to put Him FIRST.


There is no reason for you to leave the Church, honey. Of course your mother is going to be jealous, she is seeing something in you that she cannot/will not find in herself and her current practices.
Be steadfast and pray for her and yourself.
But also look at yourself- are you really spending too much time with Church activities. You MUST still give time to your family: “Honor thy Mother and Father”.
Invite your mother to Mass with you.


:frowning: Not a good idea! Please reconsider.

A lot of the time temptation takes this form. We become convinced that the only way to keep peace or win souls is to disobey God! I know that this temptation has surfaced in my life a few times! How silly we humans can be.

Conforming yourself to the will of God sometimes seems to distance the people we love… but God’s eyesight is eternal and all-knowing, while ours is nearly blind. Put your hand in His and trust in the way his footsteps guide you. He will not steer you wrongly, even when the horizon appears dark.


I have 6 grown kids whom I dearly love. If I had to choose between them, (and my husband) and God, if it meant I would never get to be with them again in a family way, I would choose God.


You are 50 and you are AFRAID of you mother??
Whatever you do, don’t turn your back on God…for anyone.


There is no reason for you to leave the Church in order to make peace with your mother.

Run, do not walk, to the nearest priest!!! Tell him what you have told us. If your mother lives with you or vice versa, then you might have to be quiet about your faith, but there is no reason you cannot fulfill your basic obligations and stay Catholic.


I second this idea. Surely your mother can’t object to you simply attending your Sunday mass each week and confession once or twice a month? Hardly excessive!


I agree. If your mother is that angry at the time you take for church activities, you can at least go to Mass on Sunday and confession once a month. It’s only a few hours a month. Please reconsider!


NoNoNoNoNO!!! You ( I mean this with total respect for you and your mother) are a GROWN WOMAN. She is a GROWN WOMAN. Be respectful of your mother, but DO NOT ALLOW her to make your life choices for you --especially the ones regarding the Catholic faith!!! I am in my thirties and made decisions that my mom did not “approve of” (ie: homeschooling my dd, deepening my Catholic faith, obeying the Church’s teachings…ect…). She will put her 2 cents in from time to time, but I just respectfully "answer"her, and change the subject. I stand firm in my faith to ANYONE! My husband and I are the “minority” in both of our families as we are devout Catholics—either our family members are not Catholic or they are Catholic and do not practice thier faith:( . But, we stand firm knowing what we believe is right and pleasing to GOD! He is the ONLY ONE YOU HAVE TO PLEASE!! PLEASE do not leave the Catholic faith to pacify your mom, I know this would be difficult if you were underage, but you are an adult!!! Be respectful of your mom but stand firm!!!


If living with your mother is that tense, then move out. Seriously.



To fufill your duty, you need to go to Mass every Sunday and Holy day of obligation. That amounts to one hour per week, and a few times per year - two hours. You may not be able to attend daily Mass or volunteer, but, if as an adult you should be able to spend one hour per week away from your mother.

Remember what Christ said about those who leave family to follow Him!


wow i could never choose anything over my own kids, its my job to protect them, so my life is nothing compared to thiers…



I don’t believe you can love anyone with real true love if you let them come between you and God.


Wow - what heartache you must be going through…to not even be able to attend Mass once a week, receive the Eucharist once a YEAR and go to Confession once a YEAR??? My heart is breaking for you…I pray that you find your way home soon.


Don’t Do It!
Please don’t leave the Church! You know how much the truth has strengthened you, don’t give up now!
Satan is planting half-truths in your mind!
Who else would use a mother to torment her own daughter away from the One True Church?
Love you mother, keep your faith quiet if you must, but don’t give up and leave just because she is making your life a living hell. If you think this is bad, you ought to wonder how awful the eternal kind is!

My guess is that your mother is going to manipulate you for attention no matter what it is you’re interested in. Let your Catholic faith be your first demonstration of how a real woman responds to that kind of disrespect.


Hogwash. You need to grow up, but a mature woman of God, and march yourself into the church each and every Sunday (and as many days between) and all the church activities that you feel God is inviting you too. Apparently no one ever told you that persecution, trials and hardship are the lot and norm for those who choose to follow Jesus Christ.

You need to not rely on yourself but turn to God who supplies the strength needed to follow Him. Otherwise, you risk turning out to be the seed that “fell on rocky ground” and “when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away” in the parable of the sower. This is your moment of faith. No excuses. Think of the early Church and today martyrs for the faith and what they had to endure beyond human strength in giving witness to the faith.

Excuse my bluntness, but get a backbone, and if you do not have one, pray that God will give you one, if only a temporary loaner one, until you develop your own.

“And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they had not much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched; and since they had no root they withered away. Other seeds fell upon thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear.” …“Hear then the parable of the sower. When any one hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in his heart; this is what was sown along the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the delight in riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the word and understands it; he indeed bears fruit, and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Matthew 13: 3-9, 18-23

“My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials. Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity. Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great. Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient; For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation. Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy, turn not away lest you fall. You who fear the LORD, trust him, and your reward will not be lost. You who fear the LORD, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy. Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed? Compassionate and merciful is the LORD; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble. Woe to craven hearts and drooping hands, to the sinner who treads a double path! Woe to the faint of heart who trust not, who therefore will have no shelter! Woe to you who have lost hope! what will you do at the visitation of the LORD?” Sirach 2: 1-14

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” **Philippians 4: 19 **

“ May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, …” Colossians 1: 11


It is my job to teach them the Faith and do whatever I can to get them to Heaven. How could I do that if I loved them more than I loved God?

If I put my kids (18-30) before God I would be going against the 1st Commandment.

Luke 12:53 *The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against his father, the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother, the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. *

I have even told them if they get married outside the Church I can’t be present. God comes FIRST.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit