First Confession In A Long Time(LONG TIME)


#1

I’m sorry to make yet another thread about going to confession. But I kinda thought I should make my own. I am 23 and have been Catholic my whole life; but I haven’t been a good one at all. I just started going back to church on a regular basis after a long string of years going on holidays only. I haven’t been to confession in 7 or 8 years and I have ton of really horrible and embarrassing sins. I feel like I have to get them off my chest now.

To start out with, I think I have been a sex addict for about 10 years. The whole thing; lust, porn, masturbation and premarital sex. I had sex with two girls; both of whom I was serious with. I have no idea how many times I had sex, or masturbated. Way too much is the correct answer.:frowning: I guess at the time it was good relief for my depression, which I have had for about the same amount of time. My parents never took my depression worries seriously and just tried to ignore it. I was bullied a ton and ended up getting caught up in the wrong crowd; that’s where I learned it from. The culture just made it sound normal and everything felt good. And then I learned it was a sin. I tried to stop for years. I kept telling myself I was going to stop, but I never could. Temptation was just so strong. I ended up losing everything because of it. I got fired from my job, lost all my money, went into debt, got kicked out of school, and lost all my friends; including the two people on Earth I cared about most.

And that’s where the anger came in. To this day I can still remember how angry I felt to see my ex’s with another guy; seeing how happy they were and how better of their lives were. “I’ll show you. You’ll pay for this.” That kinda stuff. I remember just day dreaming about going all WWE on the other guys just to make myself feel better. Not pleasant thoughts.

Anyway, all this has just lead to a vicious circle of horrible things that has lasted a long time. The depression lead back into the sexual sin, and that lead into the anger which lead into the depression. I haven’t been able to have a relationship with God and Jesus and feel like maybe they gave up on me; like everyone else really has. I regret what I did. I wish I could go back and take it all back, but I can’t. Ive started to make a commitment to my faith, which I hadn’t made before. The problem is, wait for it, I’m really scared to go to confession. I just started at this church and don’t really know what to expect. Confession is this Saturday at 4pm and I’m trying to keep the courage up so I can do this. I wanna be free of all this and attempt to live again. Does anyone have any advice?


#2

I was in a similar situation to you. I had not been to confession in a LONG time, and had done some bad things, and wanted to repent and come back. You CAN do this! The priest will not bat an eye, trust me. When I did this, and said at the beginning that it had been "many years" since my last confession, the priest said "welcome back!" in a tone that had a big smile in his voice. He was wonderful to me. When he gave me absolution, I literally felt the Holy Spirit flowing up through me. It was amazing. When I walked out of the church that day, I felt light as a feather. You CAN do this, and although it's kind of uncomfortable, it is worth it!


#3

I remember going to confession for the first time in years and it felt really great! You can feel God's grace enveloping you and a sense of peace. I couldn't stop smiling for days and my family and friends have noticed a change in me. Don't be embarrassed of the sins you're going to confess. I'm pretty sure that priests have heard of everything in the confessional. You should do an examination of conscience and revise the How to go to confession guide and the Act of Contrition.

Luke 15: 7 "I say unto you, that thus there shall be joy in heaven for one repenting sinner, more than for ninety and nine righteous who have no need of repentance."

God bless!


#4

Go to confession friend!!! There is nothing you can tell the priest he hasn't already heard. The greatest part is when you said you wish you could take it all back. You cannot go back in time but you can leave it at the foot of the cross in the confessional. Remember it is Christ you are confessing to. The Priest is just the representive. You will feel much much better!!! God Bless!!!


#5

You just made a public confession and none of us can give you Absolution Funny how people can tell everyone else their sins but dread telling the one person that can really free us of them. I would suggest you maybe make an appointment with Fr. and talk to him about your whole situation. Believe me he’s heard it all before. Your not going to shock him even at your young age. Then get some help to start really learning your faith, that’s as important as going to Confession. I’m sure you will have lots of us praying for you now so get with it kid and get your life on track. You can’t imagine how free life can be when not burdened down with all that. God Bless, Memaw


#6

Okay. First of all, remember, Jesus loves us all. He wants us to be with Him. What you are experiencing is a form of Hell on Earth. Satan has you trapped in a cycle of destruction, and you are feeling the consequences of your sins. The only way out is for you to go to confession, pray, and receive the Eucharist after. The whole idea of “listing” your sins for the priest, noting how many times you’ve done one sin or the other is not what you need to do in this situation.

Simply state to the priest, “Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. I haven’t been to confession in many years. During that time, I have been seriously struggling with sexual sins. I have had premarital sex, have masturbated, have viewed porn, etc. I’ve committed each of these sins so many times, I’ve lost count. I feel trapped by these sins, because I’m caught in a cycle of sin and despair, and I need Jesus to help me. I don’t know what to do!”

After this, the priest will reflect on the sins with you. He will then ask you for your Act of Contrition, and give you your Penance. Jesus will then absolve you through the person of the priest. Do the penance that the priest gave you, then go to Mass and receive the Eucharist. And most importantly, don’t despair if you continue to fall into the same sins. It doesn’t mean that you’re not sorry for your sins - it means you’re human and have human frailties - and also, that it’s hard to break old habits. Just continue to go to confession and ask Jesus to help you do better next time. In time, with confession, prayer, and Mass, the personal demons that you have been dealing with will be gone.


#7

God bless you, and remember to ask the Mother of Jesus to intercede for you!


#8

Remember the Prodigal Son in Scripture, Drew518! God is just like this with us when we are ready to return home! In fact the desire to return is already because of his *closeness to us. We walk away from God but God *never walks away from us! The distance we feel is our own *doing. The Prodigal son insulted his father by asking for his inheritance before his **father was even dead…he did not accept any responsibility towards his family…he went off and enjoyed his life…spending the money on …wine…women…and what ever the swingers were doing in those days to amuse themselves. *However one day he began to see the light, knew he had done tremendous *wrong to others, deserved nothing from his father but hoped that he might *be allowed to at least work on his fathers farm. And here we begin to see the beauty of the father’s love, he saw his son off in the distance making his way home and he began to prepare for a huge dinner and celebration to welcome him home ( Luke 15:11-32)
Sorrow for sin is the
beginning
of your journey to a new life…it is completed in
our heavenly Father’s embrace
in **sacramental **forgiveness!**Go to Confession, Drew 518…all will be well and the healing of the distance you have placed between you and the Lord will begin to disappear :highprayer:!!


#9

Remember the Prodigal Son in Scripture, Drew518! God is just like this with us when we are ready to return home! In fact the desire to return is already because of his closeness to us. We walk away from God but God never walks away from us! The distance we feel is our own doing. The Prodigal son insulted his father by asking for his inheritance before his father was even dead…he did not accept any responsibility towards his family…he went off and enjoyed his life…spending the money on what ever the swingers were doing in those days to amuse themselves. *
However one day he began to see the light, knew he had done tremendous wrong to others, deserved nothing from his father but hoped that he might be allowed to at least work on his fathers farm. And here we begin to see the beauty of the father’s love, he saw his son off in the distance making his way home and he began to prepare for a huge dinner and celebration to welcome him home ( Luke 15:11-32)
Sorrow for sin is the
beginning
of your journey to a new life…it is completed in
* our heavenly Father’s embrace** in **sacramental **forgiveness!**Go to Confession, Drew 518…all will be well and the healing of the distance you have placed between you and the Lord will begin to disappear :highprayer:!!


#10

Last year, two weeks before Palm Sunday, I returned to the Church after 50+ years of wandering in the wilderness. When I said "Bless me, Father, it has been about 50 years since my last confession", I expected the poor man to run screaming out of the confessional! But, he never even blinked! He gently and wisely led me by the hand and suddenly he was saying what was "Ego te absolve" the last time I went to confession, but is now "I absolve you". I'm sure I walked out of the Church with a silly grin on my face! It certainly felt good.


#11

My story is similar to the others you’ve read here - it was 35 years between confessions for me and I absolutely dreaded going! When I started off with Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been 35 years since my last confession, I was literally cringing in the confessional. And then the priest said Welcome home! with such enthusiasm and sincere joy that it made me cry. In fact, I’m tearing up right now just remembering. And that was about 8 years ago.
Believe us all - going is worth the worry. You’ll feel much better for it. It took me a little while to really accept that God forgave me, but I did get there. And you will too.
God has not given up on you, I promise you. In fact, one of my most frequent prayers is one of thanks to Jesus for not turning His back on me as I did to Him. He will never turn His back on you. Just reach out to Him - His hand is there, just waiting for you.
God bless you and keep you on your journey back to His arms!


#12

Drew,

If you have a life time’s worth of sins to confess, I strongly encourage you not to go during scheduled confession times. For one thing, those are typically more appropriate for people who need in-and-out confessions before Mass. You might need more time than that, especially since this is your first confession in a long time, you will probably need some coaching in it from the priest, and you will almost certainly need extensive spiritual direction. Plus you’ll feel better going into it if you know you aren’t, like, racing against the clock to get the priest out the door, and it’s just a matter of courtesy to other people who need confession before Mass. Instead, I would call the parish office and make an appointment with a priest. Make clear that you might need a good block of time, maybe half an hour or more, because you’re coming back into the Church after a long absence and have a potentially very long confession to make. They’re very obliging about that sort of thing.

In the meantime, I’d encourage you to start making a thorough examination of conscience. It’s not just the big things that harm us but the little negligences and trespasses, too. There’s plenty of guides to find for that online, including through Catholic Answers.


#13

Drew,

Your Father in Heaven is rejoicing right now! Be courageous, and realize that this is only the first step in a long process. As another man who has struggled with sex addiction, I’m telling you there is hope!

Let me know if there are any questions I can help with – as I said, I’m just getting out of the same boat myself. And please enter fully and completely into an open relationship with God, so that you can feel His embrace!

May the Holy Spirit bless you and go with you, brother. :thumbsup:


#14

[quote="Drew518, post:1, topic:333121"]
I am 23 and have been Catholic my whole life; but I haven't been a good one at all. I just started going back to church on a regular basis I haven't been to confession in 7 or 8 years.

I regret what I did. Ive started to make a commitment to my faith, I'm really scared to go to confession. I just started at this church.. Confession is this Saturday at 4pm and I'm trying to keep the courage up so I can do this. I wanna be free of all this and attempt to live again. Does anyone have any advice?

[/quote]

Congratulations Drew on coming back to the Church.

Your above quote is what I read in your message. I deleted the rest because as I read it, I knew I didn't really need to know the other parts .... so skimmed your message to what you are really saying.

You sinned, you are sorry for you sins, you are coming back to the Church - Mass, Confession, and hopefully Holy Communion after Confession.

You can do this.... you were courageous enough to post a lot of what you will confess to the priest. You will be courageous enough on Saturday to be in the line at Confession at 4 pm.

Pray today and say a pray each day. Examine your conscience so you are ready to make a good confession.

Get in line before 4 pm on Saturday.

Walk in and say "Bless me Father for I have sinned it has been about 8 years since my last confession......." Ask God's forgiveness for the sins of.......... Listen to what Father says to you.

Make your Act of Contrition. (There may be a prayer card in the Confessional or you can carry it with you if you think you will forget. Father can help you if you start to forget the Act of Contrition.)

Listen carefully for your Penance. Listen carefully as Father says the words of Absolution. Feel God's Peace. Say, "Thank you Father". Do your Penance.

That is exactly what you can expect......

This is probably what Fr. will remember when you leave the confessional....... "a child of God just received the Sacrament of Confession."


#15

My story is so similar! Look how many people go through similar plights. Everything is going to be okay - God loves that you WANT to come back to him, and are making the effort. He will bless you so much for this.
I ended up making an appointment with a priest at a parish nearby…he had such a kindly look to him, I just felt like I could have the courage…He has such grace and love of God about him. Sure enough, I told him my story, I was so beside myself…I started crying, and when I looked up, the look on his face made me think of how GOD looks at us - He loves us so much and doesn’t want us to be unhappy, even for a moment! Such a look of sharing in my pain, my suffering, peace from God, God’s love - all of it came through in that moment and I felt God so clearly - it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
You will be blessed… Thank God for giving you the strength to come back to Him! It’s worth it!


#16

Thanks guys. I’m not sure if I should just schedule a meeting with the priest or just go. I am really really shy as it is and may get scared when the time comes.


#17

When I went to confession after a very long time. It was Easter and I was praying to god before I went into confession. I was praying like I was alone and was so very sorry for the sins I was to confess. There where a few ppl waiting to enter the confessional which was across the church all of a sudden I heard my name called like the person was right beside me it was very clear and loud. I looked around and no one was even looking my way. I mentioned it to my Priest and he quoted ' I Have called you by name and you are Mine'. from the bible. I now know that because I confessed and really meant it I was called to him even before going to the priest, even though I did do my confession. I am His and Love Him Always even when I get off the path but always get back on. I hope this will help you not be shy just truly mean that you are sorry and will try to not to do the same sins. But even if you do as long as you are trying very hard that's all God wants is for us to Try very Hard and be very sorry for our sins. I hope this will help:)


#18

[quote="Drew518, post:16, topic:333121"]
Thanks guys. I'm not sure if I should just schedule a meeting with the priest or just go. I am really really shy as it is and may get scared when the time comes.

[/quote]

In my message to you I wrote as if you were going at 4 pm on Saturday.

I know if someone has a rather long confession to make that it can be best to make an appointment.

Let me tell you my thoughts.....

I would rather you go on Saturday - getting there before 4 pm - if you think it would be too hard for you to make the phone call and say "I'm coming back to the Church and I know my confession will be long. May I please make an appointment. "

It is a fact that most people who go during the scheduled time are "in and out" because most people who do go to confession - go frequently and their confessions are quick.

There are no rules that say, "4 pm Saturday Confession is for frequent confessors only".

You are welcome to go at 4 pm on Saturday.

If you are comfortable making a private appointment for confession, please do so.
If you find more comfort going at 4 pm on Saturday, please do so.

If anyone gives you a look that you took longer than a couple of minutes - tell them your friend RoseMary131 said you could come to Confession at 4 pm. :)

I think everyone will rejoice that a young man was at Confession!!


#19

[quote="Golf_Zulu, post:10, topic:333121"]
Last year, two weeks before Palm Sunday, I returned to the Church after 50+ years of wandering in the wilderness. When I said "Bless me, Father, it has been about 50 years since my last confession", I expected the poor man to run screaming out of the confessional! But, he never even blinked! He gently and wisely led me by the hand and suddenly he was saying what was "Ego te absolve" the last time I went to confession, but is now "I absolve you". I'm sure I walked out of the Church with a silly grin on my face! It certainly felt good.

[/quote]

My second son walked out of his first Reconciliation and said 'Mom...do you know how the Wii baseball guys either have no legs or no arms? I feel like the guys with no legs....it's like I'm floating!" :thumbsup:


#20

[quote="Drew518, post:1, topic:333121"]
I'm sorry to make yet another thread about going to confession. But I kinda thought I should make my own. I am 23 and have been Catholic my whole life; but I haven't been a good one at all. I just started going back to church on a regular basis after a long string of years going on holidays only. I haven't been to confession in 7 or 8 years and I have ton of really horrible and embarrassing sins. I feel like I have to get them off my chest now.

To start out with, I think I have been a sex addict for about 10 years. The whole thing; lust, porn, masturbation and premarital sex. I had sex with two girls; both of whom I was serious with. I have no idea how many times I had sex, or masturbated. Way too much is the correct answer.:( I guess at the time it was good relief for my depression, which I have had for about the same amount of time. My parents never took my depression worries seriously and just tried to ignore it. I was bullied a ton and ended up getting caught up in the wrong crowd; that's where I learned it from. The culture just made it sound normal and everything felt good. And then I learned it was a sin. I tried to stop for years. I kept telling myself I was going to stop, but I never could. Temptation was just so strong. I ended up losing everything because of it. I got fired from my job, lost all my money, went into debt, got kicked out of school, and lost all my friends; including the two people on Earth I cared about most.

And that's where the anger came in. To this day I can still remember how angry I felt to see my ex's with another guy; seeing how happy they were and how better of their lives were. "I'll show you. You'll pay for this." That kinda stuff. I remember just day dreaming about going all WWE on the other guys just to make myself feel better. Not pleasant thoughts.

Anyway, all this has just lead to a vicious circle of horrible things that has lasted a long time. The depression lead back into the sexual sin, and that lead into the anger which lead into the depression. I haven't been able to have a relationship with God and Jesus and feel like maybe they gave up on me; like everyone else really has. I regret what I did. I wish I could go back and take it all back, but I can't. Ive started to make a commitment to my faith, which I hadn't made before. The problem is, wait for it, I'm really scared to go to confession. I just started at this church and don't really know what to expect. Confession is this Saturday at 4pm and I'm trying to keep the courage up so I can do this. I wanna be free of all this and attempt to live again. Does anyone have any advice?

[/quote]

My advice is simple....Print out what you wrote above and read it to the priest.

I'm serious....

This is what I did when I returned to the Church after 35 years. Rather than trying to do the old "what sins and how many times" formula that I was taught as a child, I used the "Seven deadly sins" as a starting point and meditated on how one "deadly sin" led to other deadly sins and how these really became a part of who I was for many years.

As I meditated on these, and to help me put my thoughts in order...I started typing...the next thing I knew I had something quite similar to what you wrote above. I tweaked it a bit for length...printed it out...read it to my confessor...received absolution...then I deleted the file from my computer and burned the hard copy.

As another said earlier...you aren't going to say anything that this priest hasn't heard before...I can tell you that after I finished reading my confession to father, his only comment was, "It's obvious you have put a lot of thought into this"...I assured him that I had and we proceeded to my act of contrition and receiving absolution.

Welcome home and good luck on Saturday.

Peace
James


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