Ben the Mocker,
You can be certain of one thing, burial. You will die, perhaps tonight. When death comes your soul will be annointed.
When Jesus spoke with the pharisees He told them who claimed to be descendants of the patriarchs that the devil was their father. He told them He came to forgive sins, but they claimed they had none, so they did not need Him.
He told them that they would die in their sins. What this meant, what He was saying, was that they would die and go to hell. It was their choice, as it is yours.
Your death will come. It may be sooner or later, but it awaits you. The moment will come and you will not be able to postpone it. Death comes for you and says come with me now. It is time. You will not escape it. Your soul will be taken away to its eternal destiny. You body left behind will be placed in its cold grave for burial. Your soul will be annointed as you choose, and it will carry with it its annointing.
It will carry with it all of your sins, or the annointing of divine mercy. You will either die in your sins or free of them, but either way you will die.
Look into your soul. What do you see? What is there, hidden deeply for now, will be revealed for all to see. The secrets of your soul known only to you and God will be revealed. In hell all the souls will mock one another for what they are. There will be no kindness there, or hope. It is a choice. The mockery begins here by choice.
Jesus said that the sin that ultimately condemns is lack of faith, the failure to believe, the refusal to believe and receive mercy.
We are all the same. We all make our choice. Your proud mockery reveals your choice, who you are. You really should stop it for your own good. Stop harming yourself.