I need prayers. I don’t understand what is happening to my career situation and affecting all my life all together.
I arrived to Canada in 2000 with my sister after my family was massacred in a civil war. I spent the next four years trying to upgrade my schooling and be able to work and contribute to society. In 2004 I graduated with a diploma in Telecom. At the end of the year, I found a job where I worked for two years. At the end of those two years, I realised that I was not applying what I had learned at college, in fact I had forgotten my materials. I had gotten this job which is well in my career field hoping that I will be able to practice what I have learned.
So at the end of the two years, I decided to go back to school to work for my degree. I am good at school, I had 76% GPA dispite studying while I was still depressed after the loss of my family and trying to make sense of life. When I realise that I am now loosing even what I had worked so hard for, I decided to take courses for my Bachelor degree. This program is part-time evening. So I am always on the look for a full-time day job in my field.
But I can’t seem to get it. I seem to be running in a closed circle of No job - No experience - No job. I don’t know how to break it. When I worked for those two years, I was hoping to have some experience but it went worse, I even forgot some of what I had learned. I dont’ want to end up in a similar situation.
However, This summer after finishing the last course I took, I accepted a job (not in my field) hoping that it will be temporal just for survival while I wait to get a real one. Havent’ find it yet. I am still on this job, this time not even practicing any thing related to my studies. In order not to loose my knowledge, I resolved to pick up my books and study in my free time.
When I get interviews, I am victim of no experience. And when the job does actually require as much experience as I have, then a look at my studies disqualifies me as overqualified. I don’t know what to do. I don’t lie. I don’t put intentionally all my ‘overqualification’ on my resume, but when asked during interview where I have been at this and that time, I don’t lie.
Now, I am looking at myself, working in a position as if I never went to college. I wonder if it mattered going to college. I am paying my student loan while the school is not being useful to me. I thought about making my own business, but I found myself with not enough practical experience. And this hurt me most because I have lots of great ideas. But I feel that no body wants my service.
I don’t know why God would give me great talents and gifts and somehow cut my legs, and arms, and shut my mouth because this is how I feel. Or may be this is partially what the Beast and its mark are about? you can’t get a job and survive in this capitalist society if you can’t be deshonest?..I am always on the tangent because of a low paycheque and lots of bills to pay. This is going beyond my understanding. Classmates I used to explain and tutor before midterms and for homeworks are buying houses, but i can barely pay rent for my appartment! Is this the price of being honest on resumes and interviews and all the way through? My friend blame this for racism, but I don’t like to be so fast in thinking that people are racists in keeping me away from good places or promotions. But I am starting to feel like it is possible specially in these hard economic hardships.
I am completely confused and get depressed over this. I am despairing over praying for this. I am loosing more and more courage in the novenas I have been praying. Please pray for my situation.