I’m going to dump a little here. I think I know some of the answers will be communication, counseling, and reading, but also need to know if I am alone in this or what. I will say that the kindness of posters here is letting me step out into this with a bit of trust and hesitency. It borders on TMI, but in order to find answers, I’d like to ask, so here goes:
So many people look forward to ph3 because “it is time!” In spite of the emotional need for sexual intimacy discussed in other threads and the limited time my wife and I have, I find that ph 3 actually creates an incredible amount of anxiety instead of anticipation. You would think it would be the opposite. This becomes a vicious circle with side effects.
If feels and seems that since there is little chance of taking advantage of ph3/1, I do not anticipate it. If there is nothing to anticipate, then there is nothing to miss if it does not happen. The lack of anticipation leads to a lack of desire, which in turn has led to let’s say, performance issues and no real physical satisfaction any more. In my desire to be giving and loving and in my need to feel accepted by my wife, I will do my best to physically satisfy her. But I feel that in her concern to not violate Church teachings in the bedroom or “reach that point together”, there is no reciprocation and feel rejected by this. And in that, there is no emotional satisfaction or intimacy. The anxiety feeds upon itself which affects everything. So:
- have any other guys out there had performance issues creep up due to the infrequency of intercourse (use it or lose it), 2) has anyone actually had their desire go way down, 3) do either husbands (or wives) find that their spouse is so focused on not violating Church teachings in the bedroom that it plain takes the enjoyment and intimacy away? 4) am I crazy?