For those who are married, engaged, were you instantly attracted to your partner, or did it take time to build the relationship

I’ve always wondered this about people since I myself am young and have never had a relationship, though there were girls I have dated and been infatuated with. Anyway for those who are or will be married, were you instantly attracted to your spouse or did it take a while to become a dating relationship and eventually a marriage relationship? I hear some people say how they knew that they were going to marry a certain person, while others talk about how it took a while for some couples to start dating and i’ve always wondered since i don’t have any personal experience

I met him while out with friends. I thought he was pretty cute, yeah. The relationship developed over time, though.

I am a young married man (23) and have been in a general relationship with for over 5 years now, married for over 2.

I would say that we were instantly attracted to one another and we’ve been close ever since the day we met. I’d say that is just depends on that specific relationship and you shouldn’t compare yourself to me or anyone else. Just keep working on/building your relationship and stay committed to living your lifestyle devoted to your ideals and ways of life. You’ll find someone who respects you and loves you for who you are. Whether the love is instantaneous or grows over time you’ll know when you meet her.

I agree with this. I was introduced to my husband in high school and thought he was very nice. But it took many years for us to grow close to each other. We dated (chastely) for six years before we got married. Married 33 years.

I met mine online through a special interests site, and was attracted to his mind. We started exchanging emails on our special subject of industrial archeology, then went to phone calls for several weeks, so I was truly in sync with the man’s mind before I met him. The physical attraction was mutually instant on meeting, and we’ve been together for 6 years.

I met my husband at work as part of our company softball team. While I thought he was cute, there was no instant love connection.

Over the course of the softball season, and as I got to know him better, we started dating. Once I discovered he was also a devout Catholic–a trait I longed for in a spouse–did I start to date him seriously. Fast forward nearly 22 years later, we’ve been married nearly 19 years and I can honestly say that I am more in love with him now than I was the day I married him. :slight_smile:

It takes time. Yes as human beings you feel an attraction to that person. You feel something special about that person. Now the real feeling of love does not happen in my experience until you get to know the person, through the good times and the bad. Through thick and thin your able to see whether that person is going to be worth it

I had some physical attraction to my DH, but I did NOT like him! We were in a group of friends together; I accepted a date after knowing him around a year thinking “well, I’d rather tell him no after we’ve gone out.”

Turns out I liked him! He was cruder than I cared for, but that’s pretty much gone away over the years, and he’s a WONDERFUL father- he does so much more than many of the DH of ladies I know.

So, I’d say take a chance! I think there should be some attraction, if only physical, however, to take that chance.

I met my wife through my brother. She is the first girl I met when I moved to Utah and the only women ive ever loved or been with since :thumbsup: 23 years together, 14 of them married and 4 kids!!!

Well, my husband and I originally met in High School and we were friends. We never had any romantic interest in each other back then. We didn’t have interest in each other until about 3 years after graduation and we started dating. So all four years of high school and three years after we didn’t have any romantic interest in each other. We dated about a year before we got married (in a court house because he is military and had to move and we wanted to do premarital counseling together, plus we would be on opposite sides of the country for a year if we didn’t get married) and then a year later we got married in the Church.

Met my wife at a company I worked for (coworkers) I knew she was the woman for me pretty soon (matter of weeks) we dated for 3 years and have been married 25!
She is the love of my life together with my 3 children (well they are always children for us :D)

Well, we were at a party and we had both been drinking quite a bit.

But yes, we were instantly attracted to each other.

Oh, and he told me later that he thought I was the prettiest girl in the room that night.



Thank you for all the answers people :slight_smile:


Strong spark that lit the flame, so to speak. Now we are simmering along nicely, with good periods of rolling boils and pot-stirring!

I initially thought he had cooties.

(I was 4 and he was 5 – he rode my school bus.)

We worked for the same company.

He asked me out.

On our first date, we went out to dinner then we spent 3 hours “just talking.” I felt like I had known him forever. He felt the same way. We were married two years later and have been married for just over 20 years.

After we’d been married for about a year, my husband told me that about a week after he met me, he felt that I could be the one he was supposed to marry, and that it was the first time he’d ever thought that about anyone. But he also didn’t tell me that right away because he didn’t want to “scare me off.” Smart man! :cool:

When we met, I thought he was cute and I knew he was interested in me, but I wasn’t instantly head-over-heels or anything. I didn’t even think he was the only possible guy for a relationship in the room–but I did think he was the* best *possibility. It took me some time getting to know him to build our relationship to the point where I felt I loved him and would marry him if he asked–and shortly after that, he did ask!

Six and a half years into our marriage, we also came into the Catholic Church together.

We’ve been married for 19 years and counting. :smiley:


We’re still on our first date. :smiley:

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